Classic fucking Maxie:
"So hopefully you get it before you go on your excursion to pay for sex. do some blow for me. too bad you didn't get to grow your pinky nail out in time.
the post is about sex instead of relationships b/c i dont do relationships so if you don't want to use it just let me know and i'll post it on my blog.
have fun and don't sleep with any trannys! as you would say xoxo <3>
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While SO@24 is off taking over Europe, he asked me to entertain y'all. That's a lie. I told him that I was sending him a guest post and he had to put it up whether he wanted to or not.
My name is maxie and I write pretty much the coolest blog ever-- i hate so much . Since sex has been so freakin absent from this blog, I decided I would spice it up a little bit and tell you about the worst sex I've ever had. Take note boys, this is what NOT to do.
In high school I was one of those BAs (thats bad asses if you're not in the know) disguised as a goody two shoes. For some reason my parents trusted me and would let me have free reign on the weekends. My junior year I scored an older friend who had his own house and his own booze.
He was always pretty responsible and would cut me off after a few beers, but one night I managed to sneak into the corner with his friend who kept giving me beer after beer. (natty light = i'm classy)
One thing led to another, and I was promising parts of my body for just one more beer. You remember before you were 21 and you got to that point where there was no such thing as too much alcohol? I was totally there and somehow I convinced my corner buddy I'd bone him for a 6 pack. Like I said, CLASS.
We hopped into his car, but because we were both drunk we didn't want to drive very far. The only place nearby that was a little secluded was a church parking lot. He drove up the hill and we got down to business. Now I was young but I had been around the block a little and I knew something was WRONG. The dude was sticking it in and then making these weird circular motions instead of well...thrusting. Imagine a soft serve machine swirling around and around.
About halfway after filling up the double scoop he stopped and I was pretty pumped because I thought it was over. I had done my deed and it was time to get my beer. Boy was I wrong.
I looked up to a light shining in the window. I started to freak out a little because 1) I was naked and 2) I was underage and drunk. I saw my freedoms flash in front of my eyes and imagined the cop taking me off to the county jail. When I threw on my clothes I realized it wasn't a cop at all...it was a priest. He lived beside the church and noticed a strange car in the parking lot.
Instead of calling the authorities he had our friend come pick us up and gave us a very long lecture about pre-marital sex and underage drinking. After giving me a few "come to jesus" pamphlets he sent us on our way.
I guess the moral of the story is:
- Don't have sex in a church parking lot.
- Don't trade sex for beer
But if you're going to do either of the above, at least make sure it's good.