My personal philosophy on this (and I'm well aware that a majority won't agree with me) if that if you're going to truly and genuinely be friends with an ex, you have to be prepared for everything that comes with it. That means, at some point, you're going to have to be "down" with meeting his/her significant other.
And while there is no strict time line of when these things come about, but if you're going to be friends, they should at least be blips on the radar.
Not too long ago, when my little brother was visiting, Lynn asked if we wanted to go out with her and her friends.
She doesn't live close. And if we're going out on the town and drinking, I'd need a place to
The days of me pressing my nose up against the window pane, waiting for Lynn to come running back to me are long gone. But I had to take a moment to really ask myself: what's the worst that could happen in this scenario?
- First time meeting the ex's new boyf
- Drinking a lot of booze
- Forced to stay the night at the ex's place
But who knows how one is going to react if there is booze flowing. And to sit there across the bar and see your ex be all coupley (sitting on laps, hand holding, shit like that) while I'm sipping a low ball trying to plaster a smile on my face doesn't seem appealing. Furthermore, I don't want to ask them to alter their behavior just because of my presence, but at the same time... who wants to subject themselves to that?
This goes with the sleeping scenario as well. I imagine myself drunk as fuck, squirming to get comfortable on the living room couch with my legs hanging over the side in a hilarious cartoony fashion in one of those worthless guest blankets far too small for even my body. And then knowing that upstairs, only a few feet away from my head, my ex is drunk jamming down.
Point is, they SHOULD be able to do this if they wanted to, I just wouldn't feel right if they changed their normal routine because "it'd be weird if So@24 is here...". I wouldn't feel right asking that, but at the same time... I'd be lying if I said I was eager to experience my vivid scenarios.
See what I mean?
I'll be ready to party and have drinks with Lynn. There's no doubt I'll shake the hand of Lynn's boyfriend and buy him a pint. Hell, we might even karaoke a song together. I'm thinking we could do Ray Steven's "Mississippi Squirrel Revival"
But when do you know you're really ready to face all that?