As I was tidying up my bedroom last weekend, I kept coming across pieces of underwear that Beth must have left behind on accident.
One lacey pink number tucked in between the sheets at the foot end of the bed.
Another frilly white thing under a pile of clothes.
And then this kind of standard, run-of-the-mill, plain kind that fell behind my dresser.
One of these thing does not belong...I grabbed the foreign underwears and placed them in a neat pile on my dresser to give them to Beth when she arrived this weekend.
When I dropped her suitcase off in the corner of the room, I laughed and showed her the treasures she left behind on her previous trip.
Beth: Wow, I didn't realize I left this many. ... wait...
So@24: Yes?
Beth: This one isn't mine.
Beth pointed to the plain pair.
So@24: What do you mean?
Beth: I mean that THAT isn't mine!
Huh. I picked up the black underwear. Who else could leave these behind?
So@24: It has to be!
Beth: I think I know my own underwear!
So@24: Well no other female has been in my house... unless... OHGOD. OHGOD!
I shrieked like a banshee, chucked the pair across the room and they landed in the laundry basket.
Beth: What?? What?? Whose underwear are those??
No time to explain or theorize. I needed to go straight to the source.
When I dropped her suitcase off in the corner of the room, I laughed and showed her the treasures she left behind on her previous trip.
Beth: Wow, I didn't realize I left this many. ... wait...
So@24: Yes?
Beth: This one isn't mine.
Beth pointed to the plain pair.
So@24: What do you mean?
Beth: I mean that THAT isn't mine!
Huh. I picked up the black underwear. Who else could leave these behind?
So@24: It has to be!
Beth: I think I know my own underwear!
So@24: Well no other female has been in my house... unless... OHGOD. OHGOD!
I shrieked like a banshee, chucked the pair across the room and they landed in the laundry basket.
Beth: What?? What?? Whose underwear are those??
No time to explain or theorize. I needed to go straight to the source.
BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP!
Women on Line: Hello?
So@24: Mom??
Mama So: Yes?
So@24: Did you leave any underwear behind when you were here for your visit?
Mama So: Oh yeaaaaaaaah! I was going to ask you about that! I've been looking all over for those. Black, right?
So@24: Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
127 comments:
OMG. Hahaha! Classic! That's such a great story.
But seriously, I still don't understand how a girl leaves behind not one, but TWO pairs of undies. Were you guys doing panty-less jungle gym night?
Oh wait... probably.
I'd say it could have been worse...but that would be untrue.
oh god.
The only possible comment for this is WOOOOOOOOW....
Completely classic.
Thank goodness you aren't Leo.
It wouldn't be so bad if you hadn't dug your nose in there and taken a big sniff.
THAT is amazing.
I'm telling you as a woman that there is no way she "accidentally forgot" more than one pair of panties. My friend, this is the female equivalent of marking our turf or setting up nice little surprises to make you miss us.
oh man. I'm going with Ben on this one, hahaha. Classic!
;)
Hahahahahahahaha
ha
ha
haaaaaaaaaaa
DOH! Big. Time. DOH!!!
Ditto what Krunk said. Marking territory or sexy surprise. Unfortunately not the surprise intended.
Your mother's underwear had fallen down behind your dresser?
Sometimes I wish I could turn off my deductive mind...
*scrubs brain clean*
NO FREAKIN WAY!!!
Oh snap! (Nobody says that anymore, but it seemed appropriate so I thought I'd toss it in.)
You touched your mom's dirty underwear. Gross.
I'm currently sitting at the receptionist desk, in front of a conference room full of clients convulsing with laughter and TRYING to hold it in.
I'm failing.
Um. I think you still have some 'splainin' to do. How did your mom's underwear get behind your dresser?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
That could only possibly happen to you.
Ewwww mum's undies? Gross but incredibly funny at the same time lol
I agree...leaving those behind was no accident!
OH MY GOD that is so freaking hilarious! But how did your MOTHER'S undies end up behind your dresser?
black underwear is always a sign that someone is up to no good. Hahahaha.
Kidding.
You freaked out because you tried them on for a few minutes. Didn't you. You thought you'd surprise Beth with the whole "I'm wearing your panties" line, didn't you but wussed out.
You want horror stories, every conversation my mother has had with me in the past week she has found a way to stear it towards her bra.
Didn't see that one coming. Yikes!
Oh wow, I'm so sorry. So...so...sorry.
*Shudders*
Ha ha ha ha! Thank you for that story... brilliant!
Glad things are going well with you and Beth!
Bwahahahhahaha! Moms are awesome!
thats awesome!
Ohhhhhhh man, hahaha! That is CLASSIC!! But thank God you got out of that one. That could have turned ugly with Beth had it not been your mom's.
HAHAHA!!! Embarrassing, yet makes for a great story at least ;)
I agree with what someone else said.... "accidentally" leaving not one, but TWO pairs behind? She wanted to ensure you were thinking about her when she was gone. Classic girl trick to leave something behind... guarantees another meeting. :)
Dude, your stories continue this way you could write a short book!!
Do you all remember the hook up date I believe with Amy or whatever her name was he never met and thought it was his friend? Too Funny!!!
that's still a lot of underwear to have been left, no? maybe beth was leaving you something to remember her by :-)
Hahahha. Fabulous.
Wait - how did they get behind the dresser??
Maybe she was testing you...
Still vomitous. Completely and totally.
See, this doesn't alarm me that much because I still live at home and chip in with laundry all the time, so finding my dad's boxers laying around is just kind of normal.
Maybe I'm just weird?
haha mom panties! that's perfect.
I would guess she may have left one pair "accidentally on purpose". If she did, take it as a compliment to all that you are. Really. Leaving underwear behind for you to find is not only a gesture that she wants to mark her territory, but also that she wants you to think about the most (ahem) private moments (and places) you've shared. :-)
I bet you are scarred for life now.
Oh that is too funny
What would be funnier is if you would just admit to all of us that you fondled ALL the panties until you realized the one pair was your Mom's.
:P
hahahahahaha. wow.
Ahahahahha! Oh, wow So. I'm disinfecting my hands for you.
Hahaha ... and I'm inclined to agree with Krunk.
I'm calling bunx. That was definately no accident. 2 pairs?
I prefer to mark my territory with boxes of tampons, but hey, to-ma-to to-mah-to.
hahaha well lucky your mom wasnt like..ewwww no what are you talking about?/
(chuckles. a lot.) Sorry this happened. sorta. (chuckles some more)
I need a shower.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You touched your mommy's panties! Quick, don't think of where they were... Don't do it I said! Oh ew..... :)
LMAO!~ That's awesome!!!!!!
And, in case someone above me (as IF I have time to read all these comments to ensure I'm not repeating)
don't kid yourself-- Beth didn't leave them there "on accident". Oh no, my friend. THOSE were left with fulllllll intention of needing to get them back someday! ;)
this would only happen to a blogger. seriously.
Laugh out loud!
I once found a random thong in my laundry basket that didn't belong to my sister, my best friend or me. I still don't know whose they are but the fact that I even touched them made me want to burn my fingers off.
well at least it was only your mothers...but....YOUR MOTHERS?! EEK!!
At least you didn't hand Beth's underwear to your MOTHER.
I think that could have gone worse. ;)
I don't get it. How do girls forget their undies? And in such odd places, too.
Haha! Oh that's brilliant.
hahaha GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Yikes.
LOL are you serious!!!
HAHAHAHH best story ever!
LOL LOL LOL
THAT made my day!
Thanks. ;)
Priceless.
that is so delightfully awkward.
I've never been grossed out by your blog. Until now. And I AM somebody's mother so that is saying a lot!
dis.gus.ting
HAAAAAHAHAHA. This could have TOTALLY been a TMI thursday!
Yikes! At least you could kind of worm your way out of that one! Better it be your mum (as funny as that is)than "the other 500 hos" you could have been seeing - that would have brought the troubs!
HAHAH!! I am a new reader and what a post to stumble upon! Your mom's underwear! I don't even think I would believe you unless I heard it from your moms' mouth!
Priceless and adorable!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
i love you.
OMG! Unexpected and mortifying.
Yet, unbeievably hysterical!
omg. that is hilarious. i love it! hahahahaha
and i lol'd when i read: "
BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP!"
oh shitnuts.
and WTG Beth on thinking ahead...:)
and do moms actually wear black undies...:)
ewwwwwwww
yo- you pulled out Mama Dukes drawers??
I had to interrupt the paper my bf was working on so I could read him this story.
effing hysterical!
ahhh...
uh.
ugh.
Hahaha! I love the way you tell your stories...Keep it up!
Have you washed your hands with lye yet?
Hahahahaha... sometimes it's hard to believe all of this happens to one person! Too funny.
Oh my word, that is hilarious!
I'm going to stick up for Beth here. I'm sure she didn't leave them on purpose. I'm well known for forgetting just about everything when I go somewhere. Jeans, underwear, bras... And don't even get me started on how many shoes I've lost.
hahahahahahahaha!
That's a classic story for the grandkids.
oh god. I feel for you.
It could ahve been worse.
The pink lacey one could have been hers.
HA! Oh god, thats rough!
LOL that was funny, but your mom *shudder*
I dont think i can part with my colorful undies...but then again its for a good cause...
AHH!
I hope you washed Beth's undies before returning, if not...write that down for next time ;-)
I've been MIA for too long. I was really wondering where this was going.
At least you weren't sharing them...like our friend Maxie.
YES!
hahaha...oh no!
Underwear are RARELY left behind by accident...
well that is disturbing!
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Well done Matt - I was beginning to wonder whether anyone else had picked up on that!
omg. hilarious.
Oh my god - that is freakin hysterical! I love it! That is really so effin funny!
that is way too funny!
That is unbelievably disturbing. If my dad left his undies at my place on a visit...
I can't even finish that thought.
AWKward! But delightful on my end (that is, reading the story now). So I'm glad.
ok so....the fact that you dont know the difference between their undies though...kinda cool. your mom must be kinda hot. or something.....lol my mom wears the grannies.
I remember "accidentally leaving" a few sexy numbers behind when I was seeing my ex.. :)
Picking up your mum's underwear? priceless!
xx
you made me spit chewed up carrots on my computer screen. lol
LOL that is PRICELESS.
Hahahahaaahahaha! Let's hope you weren't rubbing with them or sniffing them!
Oh man. That's awful/hilarious.
I'm with Je. I don't understand how a girl can leave behind multiple pairs of panties. Maybe it's just me, but the ones I take off in front of the boy are the ones I want to hang onto the most...
I'd never be the same again...
i sometimes find my mama's undies when i do my laundry at home, and it's...upsetting to know that my mom wears more thongs than i do
Dude, sorry I haven't commented in a bit (man, you've got a ton of followers of now. well done.)
If I found my mom's underwear like that, my immediate reaction would involve a lighter and a trash can.
ROFLMAO. Oh God that's good. Reading this made my day.
You've GOT to be kidding me.
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
Totally did not see that coming.
The story in itself is plain amazing, but the BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP made it come alive.
HA!
That is all.
You know you've had a killer dry spell when THAT'S the only explanation for a rogue pair of undies in your bedroom.
Here's to you having bloomers in your room that aren't mom's!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
sick.
HAHAHAHA. Awesome.
I just laughed in the middle of my cubicle farm. I am sure they all think I am crazy now.
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. And what was your mother doing throwing her undies about that they got lost behind the dresser?!
I'm ashamed to say it took me only 2 days to stumble upon and read your entire blog from the beginning to now. Congrats on having semi-regular boinking sessions now! I can only hope that this newfound poontang doesn't taint your hilarious writing because you feel butterflies (and the rest of us feel nausea). I kid, you deserve this happiness, no matter how vomit inducing it may be.
Your blog is so funny!! Oh my, you are the only guy that I know who really blogs and it's really interesting!! Thanks for giving me a great laugh!
Aww! That's hilarious!! :D
OK, what happened to him? Always post regularly. Does he want tons of comments? If so, he got it!!!
Come on dude, lets hear more!!!!
HAHAHAHA!! Priceless!!
HA HA HA HA!!!!
And I am with Krunk, those were not left by accident.
radio silence? where didja go?
now that you've got this romance (which we are all PSYCHED about), does that mean the end of the blog?
Some things cannot be unseen!!
We use to have a "lost & found" chair where all random belongings were put from the weekend's happenings. Eventually we thought better and discontinued its use.
So funny!!!
wow
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