Please to repeat.
"I will read 'From Don Juan Pt. 1' before reading further"
Trust me, you'll be doing yourself a huge disservice by reading ahead without backstory.
We all set? Good. Let's continue.
* * *
Last Friday, I was in my cube busting out some serious Outlook shit when I got a text message from my friend May.
I didn't particularly like a lot of Lynn's friends in high school. But one that stood out was May. She's very blunt, sarcastic, crass and has the mouth of a sailor. She's good people to have around.
I still stay in contact with May and occasionally, she'll give me a call or text me to let me know she's in LA and meet up.
May's Text: Sorry this is last minute, but I'm in Pasadena. Do you want to meet up for a drink?
So@24's Text: Of course! Text me when you head to the bar.
I hadn't seen May for awhile, so I was excited for the reunion. I called up two of my buddies, Dave and Geoff to join me for drinks at my place before heading out.
Around 9:00, I get a text from May, "On my way! I should be there in 5!"
I wasn't in a rush. Dave and Geoff were still finishing their beers and it was still early. I didn't usher every one out of the door and into car until around 9:30.
On the road, I get a text from May, "Hey where are you??"
May is the type to get a little sassy at times and we have a playful banter so I shoot her one back, "Chill the fuck out, we're on our way!"
By the time we park, it's about 9:45. Dave, Geoff, and I head toward the bar. May calls me as we're walking up to the bar.
May: You here?
So@24: Yep, walking up now. Wait, you didn't pick a bar with cover did you? I never carry cash on me.
May: Uh... no. You should be fine.
So@24: Whew! See you in a bit!
As we step into the bar, I give a quick scan for May.
Nothing.
Must be in the bathroom.
Suddenly a girl stands up and addresses me, "So@24?"
So@24's Inner Monologue: Why does this girl look so familiar? Must be one of May and Lynn's friends that I met once and don't remember... better play it cool until I can place her.
So@24: Hey... you! Are we missing someone?
Girl: No...
It was at that very second that this happened...
This was the Match.com girl who had emailed me earlier in the week asking me for drinks.
Her name also happened to be May. I just hastily put her in my phone and forgot about her.
Oh fuck.
My high school friend May was not in town. She did not text me.
Oh fuck.
This is technically a "date".
Oh fuck.
I'm wearing ratty jeans, a dirty tshirt and haven't shaved for two days.
Oh fuck.
I'm 45 mins late.
Oh fuck.
I texted this girl, "Chill the fuck out" when she asked where I was.
Oh fuck.
I just came off looking like a complete cheapskate by bitching about paying cover.
Oh fuck.
I brought two of my friends with me.
Analysis: I am a complete and total moron.
I didn't particularly like a lot of Lynn's friends in high school. But one that stood out was May. She's very blunt, sarcastic, crass and has the mouth of a sailor. She's good people to have around.
I still stay in contact with May and occasionally, she'll give me a call or text me to let me know she's in LA and meet up.
May's Text: Sorry this is last minute, but I'm in Pasadena. Do you want to meet up for a drink?
So@24's Text: Of course! Text me when you head to the bar.
I hadn't seen May for awhile, so I was excited for the reunion. I called up two of my buddies, Dave and Geoff to join me for drinks at my place before heading out.
Around 9:00, I get a text from May, "On my way! I should be there in 5!"
I wasn't in a rush. Dave and Geoff were still finishing their beers and it was still early. I didn't usher every one out of the door and into car until around 9:30.
On the road, I get a text from May, "Hey where are you??"
May is the type to get a little sassy at times and we have a playful banter so I shoot her one back, "Chill the fuck out, we're on our way!"
By the time we park, it's about 9:45. Dave, Geoff, and I head toward the bar. May calls me as we're walking up to the bar.
May: You here?
So@24: Yep, walking up now. Wait, you didn't pick a bar with cover did you? I never carry cash on me.
May: Uh... no. You should be fine.
So@24: Whew! See you in a bit!
As we step into the bar, I give a quick scan for May.
Nothing.
Must be in the bathroom.
Suddenly a girl stands up and addresses me, "So@24?"
So@24's Inner Monologue: Why does this girl look so familiar? Must be one of May and Lynn's friends that I met once and don't remember... better play it cool until I can place her.
So@24: Hey... you! Are we missing someone?
Girl: No...
It was at that very second that this happened...
Quick Idea of What's Going On in So@24's Brain in Approx .00456 Seconds
This was the Match.com girl who had emailed me earlier in the week asking me for drinks.
Her name also happened to be May. I just hastily put her in my phone and forgot about her.
Oh fuck.
My high school friend May was not in town. She did not text me.
Oh fuck.
This is technically a "date".
Oh fuck.
I'm wearing ratty jeans, a dirty tshirt and haven't shaved for two days.
Oh fuck.
I'm 45 mins late.
Oh fuck.
I texted this girl, "Chill the fuck out" when she asked where I was.
Oh fuck.
I just came off looking like a complete cheapskate by bitching about paying cover.
Oh fuck.
I brought two of my friends with me.
Analysis: I am a complete and total moron.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Quick decision! Damage Control! It was like red alert in my brain. The submarine was hit and was flooding quick. Tons of sailors were scrambling to keep their balance and shut all the valves. The sub was going down.
So@24: Hey! Nice to meet you. Let me grab you a drink! What are you drinking there?
May: Just a beer.
So@24: Alright, I'll be right back.
I grabbed a confused Dave and Geoff by the collar and dragged them with me to the far corner of the bar. I gave them a 20 second explanation of what's going on. They laughed hysterically.
I tossed Geoff the keys. "Sorry buddy, you're driving tonight. Bartender? A pitcher of Bud Light and a shot of Jack please."
* * *
The rest of the night actually wasn't so bad. She didn't seem pissed or annoyed with my jackassary (I kept checking with Dave to make sure that she seemed fine). I bought all her drinks for her and I never caught any sign that she caught on that I was completely oblivious. She didn't show any signs of being phased by the unusual situation. We hung out until closing time, but the banter was what I had expected... beige. -shruggy-
I felt terrible! Augh! I went into this situation hoping that I could show this girl a good time and that not all online dating sites have guys who are complete tools.
And I came out looking like a total dick. Complete, complete failure. Not that I was remotely interested in her to begin with, but still...
How was I supposed to explain my mistake to her? "Oh sorry, you weren't important enough to remember your name." I panicked! I didn't know what to do.
Ugh. Maybe I should give her a call?
If there was any doubt how clueless I am... I think this settles the score, wouldn't you say?
Epilogue
The rest of the night actually wasn't so bad. She didn't seem pissed or annoyed with my jackassary (I kept checking with Dave to make sure that she seemed fine). I bought all her drinks for her and I never caught any sign that she caught on that I was completely oblivious. She didn't show any signs of being phased by the unusual situation. We hung out until closing time, but the banter was what I had expected... beige. -shruggy-
I felt terrible! Augh! I went into this situation hoping that I could show this girl a good time and that not all online dating sites have guys who are complete tools.
And I came out looking like a total dick. Complete, complete failure. Not that I was remotely interested in her to begin with, but still...
How was I supposed to explain my mistake to her? "Oh sorry, you weren't important enough to remember your name." I panicked! I didn't know what to do.
Ugh. Maybe I should give her a call?
If there was any doubt how clueless I am... I think this settles the score, wouldn't you say?
133 comments:
WOW was totally not expecting that! i think considering the confusion and the whole situation, you handled it well. if she contacts you again, i'd just politely and kindly decline the invitation.
You did your best given the circumstances. It could've gone much worse for her, not that she realizes that, but still...
I think it's best you cut ties though.
I think you did your best in dealing with the misunderstanding! Props to you for that :) :)
BUT I would not talk to her anymore. Many a girl has missed the message that a well-meaning guy was just not that into her. Seriously. There's a whole book about it!
Don't initiate contact. But if she asks you out again, you might owe her a (more punctual and polite) drink.
CRAP.
I've totally done that mistaken identity thing before, but not QUITE to this extent.
I'll have to agree with cavy on this one. You handled it with grace, and it's pretty obvious you're not interested, so let it go.
Makes for entertainment for your loyal fans, though. :P
That.Is.Hilarious.
If it was me, you would have come off a complete jerk... but lucky for you, this girl seems to be quite chillaxed...
So second " let me make it up to you? " date, or no ?
BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!
That was awesome!
Wait until she calls you, and then explain you aren't really interested.
Impressive...and totally unexpected! i think I would actually die if that was me! is the girl friend-worthy if nothing else? I think it would be polite to follow-up with at least an email - you'll feel bad for life if you never get to explain. you never know, she might find it (kinda) funny! x
Oh Lord. I didn't see that coming.
Sever ties, So!
wow . . . how the heck do you get your mouth all around that foot?
Oh wow, that's hilarious. I don't even know what advice to give you on that one. At least you stuck around and bought her drinks. She can't be mad.
Why didn't you just tell her the truth? "Oh sorry, you weren't important enough to remember your name." No, you *did* remember her name..that was the problem.
ha ha ha ha
Hilarious! Don't call her. Instead, call up your real friend, May ;)
Oh. My. God. I am dying laughing before 7am... well done, buddy. Well done.
Don't call her. If the banter was just shruggy it doesn't seem worth it. Nice quick recovery though. :)
Haha brilliant. Question. Does she realise she met the legendary So@24? And that she's now "famous"?
No, don't call her - that would just give her the wrong idea and potentially lead to another sticky situation. She'll get the hint and move on.
Classic. This story will be told, it must. It's amazing!
I am going to advise, like others, that if your really not feeling it don't call her. She will take what was once intended to be politeness and simple good intentions for actual interest. Then you'll have a whole new set of problems.
I think you should be honest with her. I think most issues people have with online dating is the lack of honesty. If you're not into her, then you're not into her. Doing the "I'm not going to call you so you fade away" game is harsh and part of the reason online dating has the reputation of playing host to so many tools...and we all know you're the furthest thing from a tool there is. Best of luck!
Ooooh, awkward! But I think you did your best to redeem the situation. Way to be on your toes, but I'd probably just leave it alone at this point, haha.
OMG... sorry I just couldn't help but LAUGH my ass off with your "inner thoughts".
Aw that really blows dude! Next time make sure you enter ALL INFO
I think you should take her out again and explain what happened....
Be honest.. worse that can happen is that she'll think you're a dick. Which she probably think you are anyways...
Man I'm sorry this happened.. but wow funny for your readers..
1.) Hysterical awkward moment!
2.) Under no circumstances should you call her just to be nice. Wrong message!
3.) Under no circumstances should you NOT call her.
4.) You must make some kind of contact...you don't have to explain the "May" mix-up, but you DO need to explain that you're not interested. I'm trusting you to come up with a good answer on this one!
5.) If you need assistance in your diplomacy, swing over to my blog today...I gave you unsolicited advice. :)
BAHAAAAHAAAAAHHAAA!
That is hilarious. You have to tell her the story. It would crack her up and might let her down in an easy way. Seriously funny stuff though!
HAHA. Amazing.
oh my goodness that was really funny...now...not then - clearly...but I'm so glad you wrote about it! I seriously pictured what my face would be like in that situation and I laughed.
Please don't call her just to be *nice*. She needs the "truth".
You're so awesome.
Oh dude. Hahahaha.
Not a bad job considering...
Prob not a good idea to see her again, you weren't feeling it anyhow.
I like to use the line, "Hey, you're pretty cool, but I just met someone and want to see where it'll go."
Ahhh, how... awkward. Don't call her! That would only lead to acting interested (which you wouldn't want to do anymore if I'm correct). Good luck with texts in the future and be more careful ;-)
BRILLIANT! And...ouch. But, I just disrupted the library LOL'n.
I was wondering what could make this such a good story. At least she had a good time.
Oh. My. Lord. The "chill the fuck out" comment was/is priceless!! I would have loved to have seen the expression on her face when she read that text.
Lesson learned for you: it's ok to say no to a girl you're not interested in. (But, at the very least you got a hilarious story out of the deal. And at the end of the day, isn't that what really matters!?)
LOVE the "chill the fuck out" comment. I would LOVE to say that on a first date, hahaha!
that is f-ing hilarious. she must have been pretty oblivious to not notice that you had no idea who she was. but smooth moves by you!
I would have just told her about the mix-up; it's the best explanation and it's the truth. It doesn't mean you forgot about her, it just means that you're friend of over 6 years came to mind first and you were too dumb to check the number. I think you handled the situation well though.
And, I think it's best if you cut ALL ties without any delay though.
Aww damn. You get more and more smooth by the day. *snicker*
If you call her and tell her the truth she might think that you are interested and try to pursue something further.
If you don't call her, she will probably tell her friend what a disaster you were but end the story with "but he bought all of my drinks all night."
that was hilarious! definitely woke me up!
i think you should give the girl a call or a text and just let her know it's not working out. i think that is definitely preferable than not at all (cos she'll wait for it) or continuing to be the nice guy and taking the hit for the rest of the douches. worst thing is when a girl is waiting for a phone call from a guy she went out with but it never comes...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. But I say apologize for acting idiotic. Regardless of whether or not it actually works and if you continue to see her, it'll make for an interesting story!
don't call. you don't want to lead her on like all those other girls in college, right? you're done. She's probably less likely to message you again anyways. ya. Don't contact.
Call the other May. Tell her the story.
Then get off the internet dating sites. Geez, those things are bad.
If you aren't interested in the girl anyway, you now have a funny story, and a reminder to put last names or descriptors into your phone. I've done the same thing. I got into a cab one time thinking I was going to meet a boy I liked, I got there and it was a group of coworkers. The attire would have been a little different. Opps.
oh my, now THAT is classic!!!! what are the odds of that happening? lol!
If some guy told me to "chill the fuck out" on our first date, I'd either punch him or make-out with him, depending on the tone.
I think this is my new favorite so@24 story.
I bet she is MORE into you because of your asshole-ish actions. Girls are weird and don't make sense...just accept it and keep on keepin' on. Oh, and good luck when she calls again...because she will.
Bwahahahahaha!!! Oh no. This one is a goodie! I don't think I would call her though. I think I'd just let it fade out. You're not interested so don't lead her on. :) You are too much!
Great story!
I feel kind of bad for the girl though, you've been leading her on!
I just got burned by an online guy that was leading me on (blogged about it too) and it is not a fun place to be.
Call or email her to apologize and explain, say you had a nice time but you just didn't feel a spark and leave it at that. She can't argue and at least doesn't feel like trash.
I know you're a nice guy, let us know what you decide to do!
I literally laughed out loud...at work...the guys had to ask what was so funny! Awesome! Good recovery since she didn't suspect a thing!
oh. my. god. that is HILARIOUS (for us)!! HAHA, i did not see that coming. hehehehehehe. haha. hah.
i would NOT call may to "explain" or because you "owe" her a better date. if you don't want to date her... don't go out with her again. arranging a second date sends all sorts of conflicting signals to her.
hehe. hah. i'm going to be chuckling about this all day. :-)
Oh lawd. Epic FAIL, so@24.
On the bright side, now you have a great story to tell! And we know you're not a dick.
At first I was pissed you were in Pasadena and didn't alert me, but then...holy shit! Only you man, only you. this is why you'll be able to re-lable this blog 'startingoverat34' in a few years.
seriously, why didn't you tell this girl "sorry, but I'm just not that into you" awhile ago? did you see RS's blog today? they all understand that now, so be direct. don't sweat it and save yourself and the girl some hassle. life is too short....
VI
You always have to put a note behind their name!
Katie - Hot
Melissa - High School
Dawn - Herpes
These help me stay organized.
I don't understand, in the previous post you wrote that you are sorry to all the girls you led on in the past. Now you are leading her on! Kinda weird of you!
Just read Narm's comment - am now cracking up.
Anyway, I personally would apologize for what happened (you did make the best of an awkward situation) but would also make it very clear that you're not just interested.
Just my two cents :)
That'll teach you to carelessly add people to your phone contacts!!! "Chill the fuck out!!" Priceless So, absolutely fucking priceless!!!
Hahahahaha.. ohhhhh noooooo.
I can't believe shit like this happens to you. Seriously. Contact a network. This could be a TV show. You could be rich.
Not oging to lie, I don't know one person named May, let alone two.
What kind of Asian woman mafia are you hanging out with?
Wow she waited that long for you? I would have left at the "Chill the fuck out" message.
Did you even explain to her the mix-up, that you thought via text that she was your best friend from high school or did you just let the asswipe vibes wash all over her in a convenient "I'm going to make you not like me" way?
OHHHH MYYYY FUCKING GOD!!!!!
I'm seriously dying I'm laughing so hard.
Funniest.Shit.Ever
Ohhhh SO
Also, Like Narm said, it's best to put notations after their names - I have "Jon Mexican" (who's not a mexican but that's his nickname) and "Jon (website)" so I'm not texting "Jon (website)" who happens to be a business contact that's uber Christian with "where fuck is your drunk ass?".
WOW WOW
bravo. brilliant.
I think I would have told her the truth. Otherwise it looks like you really didnt care. Too late now I guess.
Poor girl. Sounds like she could have used a little SO lovin*
you should give that girl a medal! holy mother of god, you made me spit rice on my computer!
My tagging system is as follows:
*Name (Description/Where we met)
*"X" in front of their name if it is anyone I shouldn't talk to (particularly helpful when out and not paying as much attention)
*Obnoxious ringtone to remind you that you want to "ignore" them
A little bit of planning goes a long way.
i love this story. i wish it had happened to me so i could tell it to other people as an ice breaker. what a funny situation.
i really dont have any advice here for you, but its still a damn funny story
hahaha wow. definitely did not see that coming. but wait, what bar in pasadena was this? i'm just curious where this first "date" occurred, haha.
I would have sent you a chill the fuck out message back and be gone. I would not have waited for 45 minutes. No way!!!
Even if it was the other May you were thinking it was, not cool to say that to -any-woman!
You could have apologized once you realized YOUR mistake. Why keep putting up a front?
Haha, too funny! Only you, I swear! Your luck is about like mine:)
WOW. I would have totally felt the need to explain, but I tend to ummm...overshare. haha. I'd say you just let this one fade, fade into the dying light. ha.
Best.online.dating.story.ever.
Or, at least one that I've read in a long time.
You moron! ;)
One of the best stories ever~
Wow- sounds like a heck of a night. It was an awkard situation--don't be too hard on yourself. I didn't realize you were in LA, so am I. Good stuff, well, take care and good luck on your search for love.
To tell you this was completely hilarious would be an understatement. That was not at all what I expected after reading the first half. What a conundrum (is that spelled right? is it even a word?).
Don't call. You'll lead her on, and if I recall correctly from merely two posts ago, you don't like to do that.
that's hilarious, but for the love of god don't call her! if you don't want to lead someone on the best way to do that is to not lead them on by calling them and hanging out with them.
you're better than beige, don't settle!
oh
crap
leave it alone. seriously. this is so something that would happen to me. actually it did, not the same names, but a guy asked me out on a date and i thought he was another guy i had met at the same function.
couldn't get away from this particular guy fast enough after realizing i got the wrong one. i like to refer to it as "the date from hell"
Oh my goodness! Didn't you learn anything about cell phone coding in college? She should have DEFINITELY been saved as 'May Match' (or Harmony) in your phone.
You did just fine once you were there. Way to pull it off! But you don't need to call her. You're clearly not interested so why waste her time?
Hahahaha! Oh my goodness. Ok, I am totally cracking up. I loved that story.
I think you did really well covering your tracks.
WOW! WOW. WOW.
Haha... Thanks for making my day.
You did right by buying all her drinks and hanging out til closing. Don't mislead her by calling though unless you clarify your intentions.
Seriously.
Oh man, that sucks! Sounds like it's time for some more description in the cell phone-book?
Don't call her unless you want to see her again. No need to explain... you can just be someone else's crazy Match story. Who knows... she could be blogging about it now. lol
(To repeat what everyone else already said): Totally tell her the truth about the mix-up, but only if she asks. Do not call her again. Do not lead her on. If she initiates, explain the situation, and do not accept her next invite.
Oh good Lord. I've done a similar thing. Though it involved a creep who ended up having herpes (I found out through friends later, NOT because I "witnessed" them.) and because of other habits of his I recently discovered, I now refer to him as "Pussy Wagon."
Don't go out with this girl again though. If she enjoyed your weird date, you'll only hurt her. I think you should leave it be. In a month, she won't care.
Hahahaha.
What a total f-up!
You recovered nicely though.
This is epic.
Problem is, the girl is way too desperate and there's obviously no connection. But we need more awesome dating stories. Must have more.
Only you.
I shared this story with a group of friends over the weekend.
Laughter ensued.
Thanks!
HAHAHA, chill the fuck out.
i still can't believe you thought it was easier to cut her off after a pity date than before.
why didn't you just be honest and explain what happened at the time?
then again, you've made it easier for her to walk away from a jackass!
Run. Now. You've made your one (granted, hilarious) faux pas, and it was done with no criminal intent. You get a bye.
You're not physically attracted to her, and she doesn't have the "what a great buddy" banter to her that the original May possesses, so don't drag out the awkwardness by granting her a sympathy date in order to soothe your own conscience.
Any false interest on your part from this point forward would be cruel. You're better than that.
Btw...just read the post again, and I'm still chuckling...classic.
But . . . you still fucked her anyway, right?
This story is hilarious! Even with the set-up, I didn't see this one coming. I was even even thinking, "Why the hell is he telling us a story about a high school friend after yesterday's setup???" (Shows you how dense I am.)
My advice is don't explain. Just play it off as a date. If she asks for another, just say you don't think the chemistry was there, but she's a great girl, blah, blah, blah. As far as the douchey way you may have seemed, it doesn't matter. Let her think you're a boob. Let it go.
wow that's pretty bad. good thing you pulled it off though and she was totally oblivious. well done!
One of these days I'm going to randomly see you at a bar and yell out, "Hey Starting Over at 24!"
OMG THAT IS AWWWWWWWWWWWWWFUL!!!!! but hysterical. there is no way in hell I would stay to meet a guy if he texted me "chill the fuck out." bahahaha, I love your stories
This story was even better the second time around...
but 1) if you don't like her then don't email/call her
but now that I think about it, if she was a cool person you could have told her the story. If that happened to me I'd seriously crack up, throw back some beers, and relax. but i'm also not the kind of girl that puts up with asshole who are 45 minutes late...
So + fucked = SOOOOOOO FUCKED!
HA HA HA HA HA....HA HA HA HA HA...Oh my god, I literally spit my drink out on my puter (computer for those pervs out there). Please tell me you explained to her the confusion, if not please call her. She is probs blogging about the boy that was an ass to her.
oh.my.god...ha ha ha ha (sorry it is so funny yet so fucked up at the same time).
xoxo for the laughs my dear.
This totally happened to me too. I knew two guys named Brandt (who knows 1 person with that name, let alone 2?) and I sorta liked Brandt#1 and Brandt#2 was just....not my type. Well #2 asked me out, and I totally thought it was #1. Until he showed up.
I think I was worse about how I handled it. Apparently though he didn't get the hint because he kept asking me out.
You should definitely not call the girl. That's just my two cents and random story.
oh wow... thats awful! at least you tried to fix it! but, if i were you i would just leave well enough alone on this one!
I can't figure out if you liked her or not. But this is the best story ever. Seriously. Everyone else should just shut down their blogs and call it a day.
I'm going to say you owe it to ONE other girl on match.com to show that all guys you meet on online dating sites aren't dicks.
If she was bland...don't initiate another date... act like you are interested... and then have that be it. I honestly think it's worse for her to think you are interested when you are not. (And right now based on your behavior she probably isn't head over heels for you... which is how you want it.)
If she initiates it...it's your call.
To me this girl sounds like she is in kind of in a 'dry spell' and is looking to prove to herself she can do the whole dating scene. [Aka. there is a reason she is single...she is not exciting. She's not playing the field, she is just really single.] I would love to hear more of a description of her though...
such a tool...
LMAO!!!! And I had thought I had issues..... lol WOW!! Interesting to say the least! I give you credit you go with the flow very well!
HAHAHA Oh my god that was beyond funny. This is why I wish I knew you in real life so I could be your wing friend in these situations. Just sit back and watch the entertaining show.
HAHAHAHAHAHA was that the ONE moment in your life that you were slightly dick-ish?
Chill the fuck out! :)
And don't you DARE call her. That's just cruel
(and stop calling people beige!!!)
I read this with my jaw on the floor. I might want to pick that up now.
Best. Fail. Ever.
I'm so glad you have a blog :)
On the off-chance that anything like this ever happens again (which would be a bit much, even for you), I think slightly-watered-down honesty would be the best bet.
"I was distracted at work when you texted, and since I couldn't hear your voice I thought you were a different May. Sorry!"
oh sweet baby jesus that is a fucking train wreck.
then again, i've come to expect no less from you.
well done. :]
"Chill the fuck out" Hahahahahaha
That just made my day!
...and I think I just disrupted everyone in the library.
Let it go or you'll be marrying er next to prove she's desirable!
If she hung around after your'chill the fuck out' text, it shows you how desparate she was!
Great post, dick. :)
Besides, how would you fee if 'Shruggy' dumped YOU after another drink or two?
oh my gosh. your mishaps are WAY better than mine. hahaha. this was awesome.
Em
That is some funny shit...
Dude I just got reprimanded for laughing so hard at this in my office.
You. Are. A. Champion.
But congrats for living through it, this is totally the premise of a sitcom episode.
i just added a new "jon" to my phone, and you inspired me to make sure there wasn't another one. (there was, but i'd included his last name.
and just to clarify, this boy's name is jon, and i'm not a prostitute, and he's not a customer.
~beatrix
Ohhhhh Myyyy Godddddddd!
I so didnt see that coming.
Abort ship on this one. Get out.
Ok so...I have to sit for a sec and take this in.....you dirty dog....
May isnt even a common name...
Goodnight!
Ouch! That's never a good thing, though I can honestly say it has happened to me, too. (From your perspective on this one.)
At least the rest of the night wasn't awful, right?
Hillarious...
Oh my! That's quite a story...
I don't think you should call her, she seems clingy. It'd give the wrong impression.
I stumbled on your blog and love it!
Oh and I think you should have just told the girl what happened--all the embarrassing details. If she has any sense of humor what so ever, she would have laughed. Hell, you could still tell her now...:)
Seriously, that could only happen to you!
Too funny!
LOL. I can honestly say that never happened to me when I was doing the online dating thing. I consider myself lucky, tho. the third time was the charm for me. I ended up marrying him 2 years ago.
Found your blog via another blog and I plan to stick around. This is some funny-ass shit!
That was one of the funniest things I have ever read - I've done something similar before so kinda know how you feel. bless ya. Great recovery though lol.
Serena
x
Way to keep us on our toes, man. This was a hilarious story, because seriously. You forgot her name was May. hahahhaa. But I think you're being too nice for your own good, and you're just stringing her along.
I mean, if she keeps asking you out (from a Match.com email), it's not like she's gotten the clue yet, right? I wouldn't call, text or email her back again. But that's just me, and I'm turning over a new leaf (is it leaf?).
Omg!!! This is too funny, SO@24! This reminds me of my own match mistake. I accidentally entered in the wrong contact names on two guys I met off the website and kept talking to one of them for like 3 weeks (although we never met in person).
One day I realize he had 2 profiles with different information so I sort of confronted him about it and to cut a long story short realized I had been mistakenly talking to the wrong guy for weeks!!!!! I was soooo not as suave as you and yeah... haha, Bachelor #2 was not happy with the lil' situation. I'm glad you walked out of yours alive!
Oh WOW, that's awkward. Unbelievably, painfully awkward.
Don't call her. She prob won't call you either -- I don't know many girls who would be in a hurry to hang out with a guy who tells them to "chill the fuck out" on the first date. ;-)
I feel terrible admitting that this story is hilarious since it's, ya know, your life, but once I picked my jaw up off the floor, I laughed my ass off. You're such a good sport for sharing!
Oh no! That's totally unexpected. I thought you were going out with May from high school. Lols! This post was too funny. =)
Wow - That's crazy!!!! I'm loving it. I think you really pulled yourself together and handled the situation very well. I bet she thought you were a nice guy. I like that you paid for her drinks all night.
Damn.
That is pretty epic.
All the same, though, it was pretty random of her to text you so last minute... sounds like she doesn't know how to play the dating game very well.
I might let her know if she gets in contact again... if not, no harm, no foul.
LOL LOL LOL
best story ever.
Don't call her! lol. Reason #12678 to have notes in your cell phone address book. I used to put the guy's name and how I met them just to avoid confusion.
you should call her and be nice and polite. if anything maybe you got yourself another friend.
but hey, in the end it wasn' a total loss for her, you footed the whole bill trying to make up for being a "tool".
... I'm putting last names in my phone from now on.
Hey brother, where art thou? I'm having withdrawals. more awkward dating stories, please....
VI
LMAOF....I would pay money...goood money to have been sitting ring side at that Circus. That is the most horrifying, cringe worthy, encounter that wasn't scripted pretty much in recent history. Props to your quick thinking but that story is going to give me the giggles for the rest of day.
I WISH SO HARD YOU COULD SEE THE LOOK ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS READING THIS.
hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh my god.
And here I thought crazy shit happened to me!
Honestly, I'd tell her the truth about what happened. I would be WAYYYYY more offended and hurt thinking it was on purpose than if I knew the real story. But I'd also tell her that you aren't really feeling it. But at least that way she'll know the truth. Honestly, if I was her, I'd think it was hilarious and would be SO RELIEVED to realize it was a misunderstanding.
HAHAHAHAHA OMG I'M LAUGHING AGAIN.
Best. Story. Ever.
Haha that's so funny but honestly...You could have saved it by (somewhat sheepishly) explaining exactly what had happened. As in, you thought she was a different girl named May.
That way you don't look like a tool. I'm SURE she thought the whole situation was strange but it turned out okay.
Though if a first date said "chill the fuck out" to me I'd be like "DUDE go fuck yourself". Whereas if a guy friend said it to me I'd just laugh.
Anyway, point is you may not hear from her again and if you do, maybe a normal drink (stifle the yawns) would suffice as way of apology.
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