This one is a doozy.
A fucking doozy.
As you may recall, a while back Match.com offered me a free trial period if I would blog about my experiences. It was an epic failure and after I got eServed, I stopped going on the account completely. It wasn't until about two months ago when I noticed I was getting charged.
I logged back onto my account to sort those fuckers out, when I noticed I had an email from a girl.
Well, shit. It had been sitting in there, unopened for quite some time and I felt obligated to respond. After all, I had bitch n' moaned about girls never writing me back, so I wanted to do this for her.
I'm just going to come right out and say that she wasn't my cup of tea in both physical and personality departments. She was just kind of... vanilla. Plain Jane, nothing to write home about (I'm a dick. But an anonymous dick, so it's all good). Her interests included music, her favorite movie was The Notebook, and she loved reading US Weekly. It wasn't ever meant to be.
But she was nice enough to take the time and reach out to me so I wrote her back.
It was a delicate situation and I think I did a pretty good job of executing the whole, "Being courteous and polite, but not doing anything that might show her I'm at all interested." I kept my answers short, I never asked more about her.
And then I dusted my hands after I clicked "Send" thinking that would be the end of it. She'd walk away with a good feeling that a guy responded and I walk away feeling like Johnny fucking Appleseed, spreading good deeds everywhere.
This would not be the case.
She wrote me back an email. I waited for like 3 or 4 days before responding, thinking this might help give that friendly nudge that I wasn't that interested. Again, I wasn't a dick or anything, I just was very to the point and not inquisitive; very blah.
It wasn't until the next email she wrote me when things started to get a little... sticky. She ended her email with, "Well, I don't normally do this, but would you like to get drinks sometime?"
Well fuck.
I had to say "yes" at this point. Why? Because I ALSO complain about how girls don't take initiative and depend solely on guys to get the ball rolling. I didn't want to politely decline, only for the girl to chalk it up to me being freaked out that a girl asked me out and then to have her never ask a guy out again.
Drinks. Casual. Not that big of a deal. I can do this.
So I agree, but again, I make sure I'm not enthusiastic in my response. "Yeah sure. Text me or something next time you're out".
She gave me her number, I hastily threw it in my phone and went back to playing Mega Man 9 on the Wii.
...
To Be Continued.
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68 comments:
Oh this one is good. So good.
I hate you and your cliffhangers.
Also, haven't you ever heard "Just Say No".
Oh and I don't actually hate you. Mostly just the cliffhanger. I like you.
Uh oh. did she turn out to be amazing? or seriously stalkerish?
I hope she turned out to be completely not what you expected! Although would be slightly funny if you ended up with a stalker from match.com x
So, now in your little plan to not lead the girl on, you are totally doing just that.
Even "casual" drinks can turn into her standing outside your place hiding in the bushes taking pictures of you.
I kinda hope that happens because that would be the greatest story.
ooo, does part 2 end with you having one of the best nights of your life??? Or does it end with 30text messages per hour from her? Either way, can't wait to hear about it!
Cliffhangers suck!
Sometimes you just have to delete those things or have the guts to say "I'm just not interested."
Can't wait to hear what happened...
oooh ..... epic failure or epic romance ?
I'll be back to find out...
Plain jane vanilla women need love too.
bad idea. You should just say no thanks, I'm not interested.
It takes BIGGER balls to do that than to go out with a vanilla.
"I love that you took initiative, and commend you on that, but I'm sorry, I'm not interested. Good luck with your quest to find the right dude."
Done. Walk away.
Haha. Can't wait to read what you got yourself into!
Your cliffhangers drive me crazy! I've never been good at waiting for the end!
Just 'cause she sounded 'vanilla' on her profile doesn't mean she is in real life. Just sayin'
I think this is one time where, instead of Johnny Appleseed, the truth (with amybe a little exaggeration) would have been in order. Something along the lines of, "Thanks so much for your e-mail, but I am discontinuing my Match.com account because I have found someone I think has potential (aka Bree). Best of luck in your search." Obviously, being you, you would have softened the edges of that a little bit, but you get the idea!
HowEVER, now that you're in...I say go. You never know.
But if it's crap, DO NOT KEEP IT GOING just to be nice! I have faith in your abilities on this one. :)
For now I agree with Debbie...but I'm really interested to see how this one plays out!!
My friend swears by match.com...even though she's never gotten a date?
Stupid cliffhanger, I needed something with a dramatic ending this morning!
Even if she looks sorta like Angelina Jolie, if the first words out of her mouth have anything to do with her 14 kids, run like hell.
I've never seen the Notebook and I hate US Weekly, but I'm too old for you so try not to fall in love with me. Yea, I know it's a lot to ask, but you have to at least try.
The ONE time a girl takes initiative, and you're not interested? Geez. That being said, Us Weekly sucks anyway.
I kind of think the continuing to email her (lackluster or not) and then agreeing to meet for drinks is more douchey then just being straight up and telling her you're not interested, even though it goes against your previous blog posts. I'm sure she'd rather you tell her that you appreciate the fact that she made the move but that you're just not interested, instead of wasting her time. Clearly she's not getting the message. This is not the time to be vaguely uninterested. In her mind, you're emailing back, so you're interested. Just be straight with her -- she'll appreciate it much more (can you tell I've been in this situation before?).
Haha. I just don't even know what to say. I think you may just be too nice. And that's not a complaint because there's too many not nice guys out there. But, it's ok to say no if you're not interested!!
Sometimes in life you have to do things you dont want to do.
You know, for the sake of Karma.
Hey SO, life gets busy, you know? My prediction is she was not as vanilla as you expected. Besides, vanilla is very complex flavor. :)
Match.com is the 7th circle of Hades!! Can you tell I have had NO luck there whatsoever??? And I hope this little story is not headed in the direction I think it is!!
Haha ... you so did this to blog about it.
Well that and not seem like a hypocrite. The trick, however, would be to respond when girls you like show initiative. You're allowed to say no.
Oh So, I learned a long time ago that you can't make everyone happy. I used to be the one that hated telling people no because I had watched my guy friend struggle before.
Then I learned that crazy stalkers come from "I didn't want to be mean."
I would rather tell someone from the get go that I am not interested than to have them think that I lead them on.
I NEVER let someone buy me a drink. I can buy my own. I can then drink it when I want and not have to worry about the "can I get you another drink line," or the not so smooth buy me another drink when I am not looking move.
I NEVER take a phone number if I have no intention of using it (well since I am married of course it's never, but before when I was single).
I NEVER give my number if I do not want the person to call (no matter how persistent they are).
Life is too short to waste your precious dating time on someone you know you are not interested in.
You're still a great writer though.
I would have gone, without high expectations but at least to see what she's like for one date (she may be smokin' hot) and if you aren't interested after, just say "No".
*shrug* Guys, girls... all wimps to the word "No, Thanks".
Just say no to drugs...and vanilla girls. :) Waste of time? Can't wait to hear the rest!
This is perfectly fine. I like that you're giving her the benefit of the doubt in this case. I was doing some online dating and met up with a girl I WAS interested in. Something didn't seem right, chemistry was off, or whatever. I thought maybe she was nervous, so I agreed to a second date. She wondered why I "lead her on" if I wasn't into her. I tried to explain that I wasn't being a douche and dismissing her off the bat and giving it another shot. She acted like I slept with her...bananas! I would say proceed with caution, but I think this event has already taken place.
Here is a universal truth and lesson: just say no to dates you don't want.
Because they will haunt you.
And your phone.
FOR A LONG TIME.
Damn cliffhangers!!!!!!!!!
This is going to be good me thinks.
Remember that the most interesting people don't feel the need to expose themselves.
I feel there is much more to her than she let's you see.
It's those that seem to be way too aware of "who they are" that are scary.
I am interested in the follow up...
Then again, she could be more boring than an old tissue.
did you seriously just post this after apologizing to girls you've led on?
two pieces of advice on match:
1. watch your account because they are sneaky sneaky people who automatically renew.
2. if you haven't read something interesting, make it up.
~beatrix
i think she turnes out to be the perfect date....Am I right? ohhhh the suspense!
ok, so did u get things sorted out with Match?
Pull the plug. Call the game. Walk away.
I have to agree with the other commenters who are saying that an honest, but kind rejection would have been the way to go. I hope this situation turned out well for both of you.
you.are.nice.TOO nice.
DUDE. CLIFFHANGERS = MEAN.
but, uh, come back and write part 2 ok?
oh lord. what have you gotten yourself into now??
I'm with Marie... WAY too nice!
(Says the girl who insists that all men are d*cks on, at minimum, a weekly basis. It's true, we can't be pleased.)
okay, why do you always leave us hanging?!
p.s. TAG you're it!
oh man i'm just curious what happened next, haha. this has to be a good story if it needs a "next time"
I have a feeling this is not going to end well.
Yes! It is the Little Redheaded girl from Charlie Brown! I love her and her crown!
Girls are cool and all...but MegaMan 9?! I didn't know they were that far along in the series! I remember MM from my trusty Nintendo. I miss those days. :(
Nice follow-up to your previous post. HA HA. I hope she was so fantastic or that your story is so fantastic. I love fantastic stuff!!!
Oooo... looking forward...
Whatttt??? This is not the SO I know. Who stole SO's blog password?
Ok, if it is really you. Contract and have fun out there. You've already been awesome by being aloof, now continue that.
I do like your reasoning for agreeing to go for drinks. You should encourage women to take the initiative. You're such a good Samaritan!
I think I don't fully have a type. Actually I am almost sure I do not... especially when it comes to guys and their interests. A guy needs to like sports though. If he doesn't at all, that complicates things.
Chemistry is so big for me, that's got to be hard to fully know what is there based on online communication. Yay for you agreeing to meet her for drinks. Maybe her personality pleasantly surprised you!
Hey, I've been to a few match.com weddings and had a starring role in one!
I'm intrigued! Hurry up with part 2 ;)
Not to take away from the point of this entry, but isn't MM9 the most fucking unforgiving game ever created?
I can't wait to hear the rest!!
i can't wait to see what everyone thinks about part two.
i love having the inside scoop!!
xo
Yea....I have a good feeling about this. Usually the girl out of nowhere is the one that will take your heart!
You should give her a chance because you never know. She could be better looking in person. Trust me, as someone that does not take good pictures you can't judge someone just on her picture. Worse case you two have a drink and end up hating each other.
ugh. i'm one of those girls who doesn't ask guys out! haha. unless it's in a "hey buddy" kind of way. then i have no problem... but get me around a guy i want to date and i'm tongue-tied.
awe maybe she'll be alright!
This is SO going to turn out to be what I least expect OR I guess I could say..I know exactly what is going to happen hahaha!!!
You are such a doll! Honestly, too sweet for your own good. And I gotta hand it to her too...good for her to jump right in and take charge. I like it.
Cant wait to hear what comes of this.
I can't wait to hear the rest. Who knows, maybe she will turn out to be JUST what you need. Let us know--you aren't a "dick," you just know what you like.
Take care!
even though though I know how this ends, I still think it's good you went. I mean at least you get a good tale out of a bad date and you get one step closer to someone you actually will click with.
Ok as for being on of those girls that is shy about getting the ball rolling at times I think you have handled the situation good so far. I mean when it doesn't work out at least you gave her the confidence to be brave. Can't wait to see how it turns out :)
i can't wait to hear this!
you should read "Beware of Pity" from Stefan Zweig
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