It's actually about the journey and the harsh lessons learned by this hideous, bitch goddess we most often refer to as "dating".
Learning shit is the backbone of this humble, lil blog. And I learned a valuable dating lesson I'd like to share.
When I've been excited about the prospects of a girl, I'm not one to do so quietly. I'm that little hen who clucks all over the farm about it.
Of course, I'm nearsighted and I never think about having to explain to people what happened to the girl when things don't turn out as expected. Then I have to go through the humiliating process of explaining WHY things fell apart.
I can't tell you how many times I've had "So, what happened with Bree?" asked to me. Emails, friends... whew, it's been tiring. I guess I'll feed you, baby birds.
And as many times as I have had to answer that question, my answer is always the same (and kind of lackluster):
A phone call with Bree, shortly after meeting her in Santa Barbara, was one of the most refreshing, no-bullshit, honest conversations I've ever had the pleasure of being a part of.
I had wanted to know where I stood. However, before I get raged on by commenters, I'm no idiot. I wasn't wanting a relationship or trying to force a weird, ultimatum out of her... I simply wanted to feel out if we were on the same page. We had always been pretty upfront up to this point and Bree's straightforward approach was something I always admired.
Not to bore with intimate details, but basically she told me that she was happy with her life as it was, didn't want change. She's extremely driven and work is her #1 priority. She wanted to keep things casual.
And I was... actually fine with that! It was so nice to not have to play some tortuous guessing game and to just be up front. I got what I needed out of the conversation.
But really, what can you do after that point? Phone calls and IM conversations suddenly stopped being so frequent. Everything is fine and cordial, but once a conversation like that takes place... you have to be prepared for the pixie magic to kind of just... fizzle out. After all, where is it supposed to go?
Again, it's not like I was anxious to change my Facebook status to "In a Relationship" or anything. To be honest, I didn't even know what I wanted. But if there isn't a chance at all for anything to move forward... then you're really just sitting in murky tub water wallowing in your own filth.
This is the lesson I learned. Shit like this happens all the time in dating situations and it doesn't HAVE to always be some agonizing, terrible experience. It's like getting barbecue sauce all over your face while eating ribs: it's supposed to happen! If you aren't getting messy, you aren't doing it right.
I spend so much time cutting through the thick, dating jungle vines with a dull machete, trying to find that perfect (albeit cliche') combination of the smart, cute, funny girl... that I lose sight of the fact that once I find that girl, there's still one large hurdle to cross: she has to be into me too.
That's what dating is. Trying to find someone that links up to you like two L block Tetris pieces. Sometimes you come close to a perfect Tetris, but sometimes you're going to get that at-first-glance-seems-ideal-but-ultimately-fits-awkwardly Cross shape.
It's just the way it is.