Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Next Line I'm Going to Use: Vol 2

Part 1...

I go up to a girl sipping on an appletini.

So@24: Do I need to go to the vet?

Appletini Girl: What?

So@24: Do. I. need. to. go. to. the. vet?

Appletini Girl: I--uh...

This is when I roll up my sleeves and flex my arms.

So@24: Because these puppies are SIIIIICK.


So@24 wins over Appletini Girl & her friends.

92 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

Oh, please do.

ÄsK AliCë said...

If you did that to me, I'd laugh so hard I'd probably want to talk to you just to make sure you weren't serious.

bondibetty said...

Brilliant, how's about you try this one:

Have you met my two friends? [look appreciatively at your arms, biceps in particular]

Their names are Des and Troy [showing each arm in turn] and together they destroy!

~E said...

Are you serious??? THAT ACTUALLY WORKED?

Or maybe you just have really cute puppies...who knows.

it's not a gravy train said...

Please tell me that is not what you did?!?! PLEASE!!!!

I think if you did that to me you would be wearing that Appletini...then again I have been told I am mean.

Wendy said...

That will surely win over the ladies.

unMuse said...

if you're looking for a girl with a sense of humor it will totally work. Of course, the sadist in me would LOVE to watch a video of you saying it to one of the muscle whores. :-)

JenBun said...

I would try the "call a vet! quick!" line and, when she asks why, tell her that these PYTHONS are sick!!! (Y'know, just to mix it up a bit...) ;)

Thomas said...

Surefire win, worked for me tons of times...

The Japxican said...

LOL YES!!!!!!!!!!!

That is one of the best pick up lines ever!!!!!!

C L said...

The worse the line, the better off you are!

C L said...

Oh wait... I have to add my own...

"Do you like green soda? Because I want to mountain dew you..."


Hahahaaaaaaaa

sequined said...

I feel like you used this on me already. And I was definitely won over.

bex said...

Appletini girls are easy.

Cheryl said...

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh?

.. Enough to break the ice!

Hi, I'm Cheryl.

corey Hastings said...

i have a clear memory of you saying this while rockin' your 'acceptance' t-shirt!

Petunia said...

That is very funny!

Amy xxoo said...

If you tried that on me, i would totally roll my eyes and agree - " Oh yea, those puppies are need of serious attention ! "

I'd appreciate your lameness....

CAVFC said...

HAHAHAHA that was hilarious. it sounds like something barney on 'how i met your mother' would say.

Electric Eclectic said...

Hmmm.


why an appletini?

JerseySjov said...

i think it's supposed to be 'do YOU need to go to the vet' and then you point at her boobs and say 'because those puppies are sick!'
ive heard ta-tas being called puppies, but never arms referred to as such. maybe this is a regional thing. discuss.

Ashley said...

So long as you're not drinking the appletini too you might, MIGHT just have a shot...

Maxie said...

You are ridiculous. I still think you should use the sexy children line out in the field. If a girl can't laugh at that then she's not worth your time anyway.

You should definitely test this one out "Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted."

hahahahaha

deutlich said...

I'm speechless

Baking With Plath said...

I think you should go for a classier approach. Perhaps using this line: "that shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I'd be coming too"

Jess said...

That line would work on me!

sid said...

hahaha. hilarious

Matt said...

It could work...

MelBee said...

SO, that would make me laugh but still look at you and wonder if you can be serious or if you use humor to mask your insecurities.

Last time someone used a pick up line on me I didn't know what to say. It went a little something like this:

Bar Guy: "Is your Daddy a chicken farmer?"

Me: "No, he isn't."

Bar Guy: "Because you sure do know how to raise a cock."

*sigh*

Babs said...

still waiting to hear about bree... I am actually blogging AT WORK (completely against the rules) to see if you wrote about what happened. my life is sad.

Jossie Posie said...

I have faith in your ability to deliver that line the way it should be said.

It working is a different story.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA. Brilliant!!!!!!!!!

Just Playing Pretend said...

It would work. It's sad enough to be charming. I don't really understand how that works... but it does.

Britt said...

LOL. Oh that's so bad it almost would work.

Little Fish said...

Love it! I am a connoisseur of chessy pick up lines and that one is top notch.

Have you ever seen this: http://www.askmen.com/dating/pickup_line/ My two favorites are, "Do you own a chicken farm?... Because you really know how to raise cocks." and "I'm going to have sex with you tonight so you might as well be there."

Good luck with those :)

LBluca77 said...

HA! If I guy said that to me I would so buy him a drink and make him my sex slave.

notyourplainjane said...

This is too much.

I don't know what I'd say to an Appletini drinking martini man with lame lines!

I'd assume you were harmless.

rawbean said...

Oh.God

Hazel said...

ummm, no.

Sassy Britches said...

If you said that to me, you'd probably be getting an Appletini snot bath right about then!

amindinmotown said...

Please, oh please, let us know how that works out...

Teej said...

girls who drinks appletinis would surely giggle at that. nice eye.

:-P

Marie said...

You only won them over due to your adorableness.

Sorry, but it's the truth.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

golf clap.

Dugout Daisy said...

HAHAHA! I love it!

:D

A Martini Always Helps said...

Sigh.

Don't hit on a girl drinking an appeltini. This means she's probably 19 using a fake to get in and has to get up for Poly Sci at 9 a.m. and she looooves Miley.

Wiwille said...

I've used worse lines and they have worked. I think they took sympathy on me, cause I'm such a dork.

Lump said...

Oh, it will work everytime, my friend.

Dolce said...

You're the sick puppy.

Alice said...

HAAA. oh, that would totally work on me. if you didn't mind that i laughed very hard at you first :-)

Violet said...

Ok, you just made me laugh hysterically in my office and my staff are looking at me like I am crazy!

It's too cute not to laugh. You would have one me over to see what you'd say next.

KatieSaysSo said...

oh my goodness....

jwriter said...

No try this from the movie Ladies Man:

"Hey sweet thang can I buy you a fish sandwhich?"

It has worked, but at the very least you get a laugh from them.

MarvelousMOM said...

hahaah, we taught our little guy to say that at 2!

LiLu said...

My longtime favorite:

Walk by a girl. Stop, turn, walk back.

"Excuse me... Do you believe in love at FIRST sight?... Or do I have to walk by again."

BOO YAH

Thrice said...

I don't have a sense of humour..that or I have to learn colloquial English..

Katelin said...

haha. yes. that is one of the best lines ever, love it.

SB said...

totally would have worked on me!

Shan said...

hahahahahaha! that one is actually pretty funny.

The Passionate Book Worm said...

How many appletini's had she had?? ;)

anne said...

lmao, i'd probably end up snorting my appletini out through my nose.

Kellie said...

Ahahahahahahaha!!! I would die laughing if a guy said that to me. Actually it sounds like something my hubs would say. Too funny!!!

Regardez Moi said...

aahahaahahahah.

that's.

um.

ahahahahaha.

Trixie Firecracker said...

An upgrade on "did you get tickets to the GUN SHOW!!"

Shelley said...

I read the first line wrong... I read it like YOU were the one sipping on the appletini and I was going to call you Dr. Dorian but then I realized it was the girl. But still, appletinis. Bleh.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Smooooooooove.

Lauren said...

AWFUL!

Use it. Please.

Christina said...

DUMB!

haha... i love it.

Blaez said...

now your talking!! or should i say

FLEXIN!!

a wishful thinker said...

Oh, now that's great!

TishTash said...

That would make a charming story for your future grandkids.

Riff Dog said...

Ha! I'm going to use that one with my wife.

Her eyes are already pretty much much in permanent eye-roll position from similar lines I always feed her. ;-)

choofy said...

Booo.

Essentially Me said...

HA! Cute.

KT said...

Please, say it isn't so. But, I do have to admit to hooking up with a guy once that I really wasn't interested in but he was ballsy enough to use the "Is this felt" line on me while touching the sleeve of my shirt.

Chevy said...

Just cuz you're cute would I entertain you! GOOD one!

E said...

Ohmygod! Please tell me you really didn't do this??!! lol Please do not ever use this on a girl! I'm sorry no matter how cute or funny you may be that is just plain cheesy!! I had a guy say that to me once lucky for him we were already dating and I knew him well enough to know he was being stupid. If a random guy came up and said that to me I would probably laugh slightly to be nice and then I would run like hell! lol :)

Nikki said...

oh lame boys, they're cute...

Anonymous said...

I'm betting this girl's fave drink before the appletini was the mojito, and cosmo before that.

A trendsetter she is not, so testing these lines on her is safe, but not necessarily a good indicator of how a more intelligent, independent-minded woman might react....
VI

the frog princess said...

LOL.

Sadly, I know a guy who probably would use that line.

Then again, if she's drinking an appletini, it just might work!

bethis said...

Yep, I would talk to you after that. Definitely. Done and done.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

I have used a version of this myself. Except I ask if anyone is a veterinarian. When everyone says no, I flex my arm and say, "Because my pythons are siiick." (Ed. note: I sort of like pythons better, no?)

Princess Extraordinaire said...

Ar you suggesting I need to walk around with an appletini to get your attention??

Dating Without Pants said...

You know that sound in Family Feud when you get a strike?

That's all I could think of after reading that, haha.

Narm said...

How do girls fall for this stuff?

I love it.

Maddie Marie said...

Hahaha....that is incredibly brilliant=)

Princess Pointful said...

I actually got my first kiss by my high school boyfriend by virtue of this killer line: "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock."
I know I'm awesome.

slopmaster said...

It works best if you have very tiny biceps.

Megkathleen said...

I think this is a good test: if she laughs you're golden and if not move on to the next girl.

*~Dani~* said...

That is funny as hell but I can't believe it worked. Must have been in the delivery.

eleanor hope said...

that.
is.
hilarious.
!!!

rachael_diffy said...

lovvvvve ittttt.
that would get me in a heartbeat.
why?
because I'd be laughing my ass off.