Cucumber.

There are a couple of strict blog rules that I have followed since the very beginning.

One of them being, you never apologize for your own blog. E.g. "Well, this is kind of boring..." or "Sorry I'm going to ramble on for awhile".

That shit is rookie. Don't do it.

However, I feel like I should take a moment to explain the decline of my "regularly scheduled" programming. The few posts I've been able to barely churn out within the last few weeks have lacked their usual luster. I'm a big boy, I can admit that.

Usually when I have a hard time writing a post, I'll chug a couple of beers and stare at my blinking cursor until I can take what normally is a boring subject or train of thought and spin it like Rumpelstiltskin into blogging gold (see: something significantly less valuable than gold, but I had to use gold because that's what Rumpelstiltskin spun out of hay; see how it works?).

As I discussed in a previous post, my blog only runs on two ingredients:

1. cheap beer
2. my personal current events

I've found myself in a situation where my current outlook on the opposite sex, theories, and overall dating experiences have all revolved around a girl who actually reads my blog.

...

You can see why this might be problematic for someone who writes about subjects that I do.

In the two years I've blogged, I've never come across this problem. Where I've had to carefully watch what I say in order to not fuck shit up in my real life. That's what the blue bar is for, people. Can't be having worlds collide.

So, it's been pretty tough in this last month. Having a million thoughts and questions swimming around my brains like family of sea monkeys just waiting anxiously to get my readers' consistent and much-appreciated feedback.

Don't fear, you won't be left out of the loop for long. I have been writing posts, but for now, they sit idle in my queue; chomping at the bit to be released and read.

But for now, I gotta take care of Real Life So@24. I think for the first time in my blogging history, I am going to heed the advice of my friend Leo and keep him from having a coronary. I am going to take the path of the cucumber. Cool, collected and try my best to keep my cards close to my chest on this one.

This Friday, I'm taking off work early, and forcefully shoving Jack into the passenger seat of my sweet, sweet ride. I'm driving to Santa Barbara where I'm going to meet her face to face.

I'll whip up a good post then; regardless of the results.

Honest to blog.