Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Think It's Time for a Zach Morris' Time Out


"TIME OUT"

Remember when Zach Morris in Saved by the Bell used to do that? Everyone would freeze and he would approach the camera, breaking the fourth wall, to give his opinion when shit was getting a little too real at Bayside High?

I need to use use one of those right about now.

* * *


Whew.

I'm beginning to see the price in having a completely, 100%, honest blog about my "dating" life. It completely drains you emotionally.

When you do a "juicy" or controversial post like the one I did yesterday, you can expect to get a spike in both blog hits and blog comments. Comments that are pretty fucking harsh. It almost makes you want to throw up your hands and not continue to write. I either read these and think to myself, "Did you even read what I wrote?" or "Why are these people even reading?"

However, these comments are also balanced by the good ones. The readers who come out from the woodwork and actually will leave an extremely heartfelt, thoughtful, constructive comment or spend time to send me an email. One with genuine concern. It's a little reminder about one of the best perks of blogging.

So, thank you.

* * *

I feel like I need to clarify some things about the voice my blog in direct relation to the response I got from yesterday's post.

I wasn't trying to ask the girl's hand in marriage.
I wasn't trying to go steady with the girl.
I wasn't trying to sleep with the girl.
I wasn't trying to fondle her lady bits.
I wasn't trying to play sleep over (although I'm confident she'd build an excellent pillow fort)
I wasn't trying to force my way into her weekend plans.

Please give me some credit here, I'm not an idiot.

I just thought she was a genuinely cool person who I wanted to meet in person. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting a lot of quality people in recent years... so when you happen to come across one: you want to see what it's all about.

I'm an average guy who has average thoughts who happens to write them down in a public forum for the sole purpose of entertainment. No, I don't get paid for it. No, I don't get laid because of it.

Leo, of course, had thoughts on his own. I won't write them all down here, but he did have this sage advice to give in a way only Leo can:
Long and the short--I think you've got to be more patient. Rome wasn't built in a day. There's that old weird science fact--you drop a frog into boiling water, it'll hop out, lightly blanched. But put it in warm water and slowly raise the temperature...it boils alive. Basically, I think you should boil Bree alive.

She will learn in due time that you are charming, funny, witty, and most of all, completely genuine and a genuine sweetheart. I can't believe I just wrote that.

Anyway, too much too fast isn't good. You always say you're not a patient man, but dude, you have got to become one.
However, an email from Jack, was something I felt held a little more weight... or at least I felt that he understood me better. I guess you can be the judge:
As much as you consult and seek opinions etc. I think deep down you usually retain the option and end up doing what ever the fuck you want regardless of what we say.

There is no one correct way to pick up and meet girls, everyone has to evolve their own process and method. The problem with game, in my experience, is that it's what one uses to finesse a pick-up/hook-up that lacks sufficient chemistry to run on it's own. One essentially acts like someone they really aren't, and the flip-side is you can't act surprised when the girl you then end up with is a bad fit/the kind of girl that would date the person you were pretending to be.

Sometimes game is useful to get past the awkward nervous parts like the initial pick-up, but at the end of the day, the more you can just be you with a girl from day 1, the better you're gonna be down the road.

I write all of this to say that you seem intent on doing it your way and I don't begrudge you that. You think you've figured out something that works, so embrace it. While I guess, statistically, you're going to meet with less broad success, maybe your targeted results will be better. Regardless, you're committed now, so might as well play this one out.

He's right. I don't keep myself up til wee hours of the morning, with a pencil tucked behind my ear, three different colored highlighters in hand, pouring over books like The Game.

I go with my gut and what I feel is right. My theory is, if the girl is "weirded out", than I filtered out the one who wasn't ever going to work out in the long run anyway.

I can only be me.

* * *

The misinterpretation from a lot of readers yesterday is rooted back to an even larger issue about my blog (or maybe my writing style isn't doing its job by being effective in communicating).

I rarely censor my blog. And I there's a part of me that's has a sense of pride about that fact. I think that's why people read it. It's unabashed and I try to stay true to that. I write about whatever comes into my head or whatever I am experiencing at that specific moment in my life as it happens; specifically about my dating life.

I don't retell stories of the past (very rarely) and I don't make up stories when ye' olde blogging material be slow (and yes, I have been directly accused of doing this).

But because I just write about whatever comes into my head, I think that people read into it and take things more seriously than I actually do in "the real world".

And maybe Leo is right. Maybe with me being too loyal to the creed of my blog, I sacrifice some of my well-being in my real life.


Time in.

97 comments:

Miss Milk said...

Oh dear. I'm sorry you got some poor responses to that last post, I thought it was quite good. Honest. Daring of you to post it when she reads the blog, too. And I'd be thinking exactly the way you are/were if I was in your position. Jack and Leo are right, though. Slowly-slowly - at least since she doesn't seem to be in any hurry.

Here's to uncensored blogging. Hope this doesn't put you off at all.

sequined said...

I thought we agreed that the appropriate response in a situation like this is "WHAT THE FUCK, UNIVERSE!"

Even when it's not directly applicable, it works!

Cheryl said...

I love your blog, and you are awesome. Screw what other people think.

Anonymous said...

If you're going to be uncensored in your blog posts, you can't be upset when your readers are uncensored in their comments. It was fairly clear to almost everybody, it seems, that you were moving a bit too fast in wanting to meet Bree. I (would like to) think most people commenting had good intentions. You are usually super sharp in analyzing situations, but in this one little area I think you were a little off. Sometimes slow and steady wins the race, or at least gets you an a few strides' lead at some point. Sprinting soon out of the gate just leaves you winded.

Love the Z.Morris "Time Out" shout out.

e said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
!llegally blonde said...

Well, I think you made yourself clear as a crystal already. It's all part of blogging - as you know, different people will see things differently, and would nevertheless have different ways of expressing themselves. Just shake the bad vibes off bro

e said...

your uncensored posting is what makes you my fave to read!

Single said...

I didn't comment yesterday but I was thinking that I would have reacted the same way she did. Women have to be careful of crazies and she didn't know you and it was just too soon for her. You have to be more patient with this stuff. From one single girl to a single guy...trust me!

it's not a gravy train said...

In the words of Cher: the only people you need to answer to are yourself and God. Since you are an atheist then I guess it is just you so even better. Take the good advice, read the bad and just be happy that you are a fabulous good person.

PS. Sometimes "excuses" aren't actually excuses. Just saying. My first date with my now hubby I canceled because I forgot about a wedding, he thought it was the worst excuse ever invented by a girl (and told me so) but it was the honest to God truth, so you never know.

Sam N said...

Your blogs great. Don't worry about haters. It comes with the territory of being a popular blogger. Keep blogging for the sake of your fans.

<3 J. said...

Wow SO! I can't believe people were being so harsh on you. I, for one, totally didn't get anything bad out of that post at all! The only thing I got out of it was that your talking to a girl, your really interested in her & you'd like to meet her to see if you'd have chemistry in person too. And I gotta say I'm really happy for you! :) I'm pretty damn sure I figured out who "Bree" was in like 3 seconds haha And I'm hoping I'm right because I've been following you both since I got started blogging and you're both totally hyserical. It makes sense, actually. lol.

There's always some kind of reprocussion when your so honest. And it also hits a lot closer to home when people judge you for your honesty. Especially when they're wrong!

I think you definitely cleared that up though.

Ok. Done ranting now :)

Emmie said...

I hope I didnt upset you yest as If i did, I did not intend to.

Dont give up with the blogging. We enjoy coming here and having a read to see how you are doing. You word it all so well.

Its good to read the experience of another 20something who is in the dating game after a long relationship.

It is a long haul, but don't let it or anything else get you down xx

Essentially Me said...

Definitely be yourself. That's the part I hate about dating the most ... the fact that it sometimes feels like a job interview. I think when it comes to girls you need to gage their personality and go with that as well. No two girls can be approached/pursued in the exact same way.

OhMyLaughter said...

"Never mind what haters say, ignore them 'til they fade away."
-TI

Hmm.. I guess I have wondered what it would be like to have a massive amount of comments on our blog like you receive. In my mind I was thinking many comments=good.

I hadn't stopped to think about how much it would suck having multiple complete strangers tell me they thought I was an idiot.

You are the one putting yourself out there. They all aren't. Kind of sick right?

Whether she reads the post or not, I doubt it would scare her away. Especially because she is a blogger herself.

You didn't really go into detail about where you planned to stay... and that also could have caused some confusion in terms of the comments.

Keep your head up. Keep doing what you do well. Just live your life.

Wendy said...

If you were hurt about anything I said, I'm sorry. I'll buy you an ice cream cone if you forgive me (who doesn't like ice cream, hmm?)

I agree with both Leo and Jack. A mixture of going slowly and being yourself - although how you could not be yourself is ridiculous - would be a great way to get her..boiled alive (what was a great line!)

I just recently found your blog and I've been reading back a few posts (god, what a stalker) and it's fast becoming one of my favorites.

Emmeline said...

Jack is right. You can get all the advice you want, but in the end, you're going to do it your own way. And that's the right thing to do because that's the way you're comfortable with. I have run into the same "problem." I don't really consider it a problem, but all my friends are constantly asking, "why are you even asking us this, you're just going to do what you want anyway" and they're right, but I still think it's nice to get opinions every once in a while. Sorry for the negative comments and misunderstandings. (Hoping mine wasn't one of the bad ones.) Keep blogging! :)

Em

Bow Chica Wah Wah said...

You're awesome... with positive blog comments or negative ones!

Don't have to explain yourself...this is your BLOG!

verybadcat said...

F*ck the naysayers, SO. People are so silly sometimes.

I think Leo was right about the frog theory. I think maybe Bree is a nervous critter. I, being a nervous critter myself, would absolutely accept an invitation to some nice warm water, and then relax to the point of hardly noticing when it starts to boil. I think he hit the nail on the head.

As far as your transparency on the blog, I love it. I've lost some of mine, because I'm starting to get some local attention. I say keep yours as long as you can!

Sheesh.

Ashley said...

I can definitely agree that what keeps me coming back is your straight-forward ways. This is my style (in real life) and I thoroughly appreciate it in others.

Sassy Britches said...

What I find most frustrating is when the nay-sayers hide behind "Anonymous." Grrrr...

But, whatever! Keep on keepin' on, my friend. You're being you, and there's nothing better than that.

I agree with Jack, that you'll do whatever you want to in the end anyway, but I would STILL advise like Leo...sometimes "why not right NOW?" is good, but (unfortunately for fun's sake) most times slow and steady wins the race.

Hammen said...

I don't think anyone commenting yesterday was being too harsh, or hating, or naysaying, or whatever else. You asked for opinions, and you got them. Many of them disagreed with you, but there weren't any bad intentions in those disagreements.

Be happy that this many people care enough about the situation (and- more specifically- you) to throw their two cents in, and keep fighting the good fight.

Debbi said...

*hoping she didn't offend you with her comments yesterday* Sorry if I was one of them. I'm kinda dumb that way, and may say hurtful things without trying to be hurtful. It's an endearing quality-- that's what I tell myself! ;)

I hate it when bloggers feel the need to defend their blog. So I feel ya. I did that, it sucked.

For me, I don't care what you write- I think you're funny and sweet, and genuine. So just write what you want- I'll be reading.

saratogajean said...

So, I didn't read yesterday's blog. Instead I bring a joke.

Q: What kind of bees make milk?

A: BOOBIES!

longredcape said...

I feel the EXACT same way. I am so honest with my blogging, sometimes probably TOO honest, but if I weren't? I wouldn't see much point in having a blog. That's what it's there for. And I agree with Jack. It shouldn't be that difficult. I am so sick of games, I don't know what the eff to do.

Matt said...

Why would anyone want to boil a frog?

If you eat a frog, don't you get warts?

Britt said...

Some people feel better about themselves when they're mean to complete strangers. They aren't worth your time!

I hope you keep on keepin on with what you're doing (blog and Bree wise.) :)

Jest said...

I like your posts, all of them. I hope I didn't offend in my comments yesterday.

Marie said...

But you are so sweet! How can some people send you harsh responses?

Go with the flow and do what you want to do. She's out there and you'll find her.

C L said...

honesty appreciated


it makes for excellent reading

Bridget Marie said...

I liked how you said yesterday that you were writing after your fourth Corona. It lets people know it's a casual post - and they shouldn't take it too seriously...

jwriter said...

Yeah I was reading through some of them and thought they were a little over the top.

Look of course the final choice is yours in regards to how you write your blog, but because I truly enjoy reading your blog, I hope you don't change it, or be less open and honest.

We don't have the power to control people; so the only thing to do is do what works for you, take the comments for what they are, and keep living your life.

And you're right you don't meet quality people everyday so when you do you want to take advantage of it. Hopefully the young woman will see your request for what it was and not as some weird stalker type marriage proposal, but you just wanting to meet her in person to get to know her better.

LBluca77 said...

Oh SO no you are not an idiot. I forgot what my comment was but I hope it was not bad. Sorry my friend.

You know I heart you no matter what.

Alice said...

i don't actually think you were moving too fast. you didn't want to MARRY her after two weeks, you wanted to MEET her. i think that's ENTIRELY reasonable.

i do a fair amount of internet dating, and it's usually far better to meet someone early on to see if you have the spark. otherwise you draw out the courting, getting all excited, and then one person is inevitably not attracted to the other... WAY better to meet in person early on, i say :-P

do you know if bree really didn't read the post? i'd have such a hard time not peeking at it if it were me..!

Anonymous said...

I know that you are smart enough to know when comments are seeking to actually give real advice vs. just trying to be entertaining and/or get a rise out of you. You are also smart enough to do the right thing in most situations all by yourself, and tell us to f off when appropriate.

rock on my friend...
VI

Rebecca said...

My husband and I are two "This American Life"-loving atheists who managed to find one another and make it work. We're also pretty intense feminists. As in:

HIM: If you change your last name to Moyer, I'm going to change mine to something else.

ME: Why would I want your boring last name? Anyhow, you don't own me.

That being said, one reason I lovelove your blog is that you have an undying and somewhat atypical respect for women. Your reaction to finding out that a possible sexual partner was raped was sensitive and moving; you consistently appeal to the universe for funny--aka intelligent--women. You're never sleazy or disrespectful.

Just remember: America is an alliterate country. Though a lot of people can read, they don't. As a result they don't really pick up on a lot of nuances when they finally decide to glance at a blog or two.

Keep writing. You're really talented and always appreciated.

Passionista said...

As someone who blogs about the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I can completely understand your sentiments. I've had times where I've blogged about something that happened between my boyfriend and I, and received comments to dump him. I wondered if by not dumping him, if people would judge me or see me as less credible. But this is real life and you can't always go with what your commenters tell you. You are actually living it, so while it's great to read other opinions and even sometimes get confirmation of your beliefs, you cannot listen to one or all of them. My advice would be to continue your level of honesty, but realize that only you can know what's best for you and your choices.

unMuse said...

Like a lot of people have said, I hope I didn't offend or hurt your feelings with my brief comment yesterday. With your honesty comes the collective "our" honesty. I think most of the comments, including my own, were relaying how we would react or feel. Moving fast can be scary for a whole lot of people. But... in the end..

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got one and they all stink. :-)

unMuse said...

oh oh..

I wanted to add, I know my response was from the point of view that I thought you were hinting to her about going to go up there and staying at her place without ever meeting first and only speaking regularly for 2 weeks. (I hadn't even considered the sex or fondling and such.) For a woman, having a strange man, no matter how totally awesome we may think he is, can be terrifying and well, downright dangerous. I absolutely agree that it's best to meet and see if there's a reason to continue, but in building a relationship, there is always some give and take. You may want to move faster than she does. Who know? You'll have to ask her I guess.

Again, I didn't and don't want to upset you. Done with my stinky opinion. heh

blue-eyed brunette said...

92 comments on yesterdays post! hell yeah that's a lot of feedback to sift through!!

I love reading your blog!! it is very honest and open, and that's what i love about it.

So thanks.

Idiosynkrasia said...

I was just going to pretty much say what Rebecca said. Never overestimate the masses capabilities in reading comprehension. Ever been in line at a coffee shop behind someone who, after staring at the menu for about 10 minutes, asks the barista.."Uhhh yeeaah, what flavors can I get in an Italian Soda?"? It's kind of like that, only with your blog there's more words to confuse them. Also, all criticisms posted as Anon should probably be disregarded. Such people should spend more time on the R&R board at Craigslist and less time at your blog. Chin up and all that sort of thing kiddo...you are widely adored and you'll get your girl...whoever she may be.

Courtney said...

Good for you!

Finger Talks said...

i love everything about you and your blog, try to change and ill punch you in your virtual face. really i will. that being said, on to important matters... Zack Morris was a genious.
Oh and that other matter... give her time, it takes a while for a girl to be able to truely meld the "virtual" world and the "real" world. oh ya and screw everyone who doesnt love you.

Trixie Firecracker said...

Does The Game even work? Much like I question The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, which are of dubious merit. That being said, just let it go. You haven't lost much.

Anonymous said...

I just read your blog today and yesterday and here is my thought:

You messed up by telling her you were coming. Spontaneity is only that if you show up at her door unannounced, or (the more polite version) you call when you are an hour out and say "I'm in the neighborhood, let's do coffee."

I agree completely that you can only be yourself, but I think you need to be the best version of yourself, and not the needy version. The great thing about partners is that they make us want to better ourselves, not just continue to be who we already are.

The other part of this equation that maybe someone else has already commented on ... just as there is no spoon, there is no headboard. Lady friend may have had prior plans that involved another guy.

I wish you all the best, love your blog, and know that you will find someone. Everyone's story is different and you just haven't found your happy ending yet.

~ Anon (but a friend of Ms. Megan)

Anonymous said...

PS - giving a girl too much time is like leaving hot water boiling on the stove indefinitely. You go back at one point and all the water's gone.

PPS - LOVE the Time Out. Zach Morris is the answer to any question.

Dolce said...

I didn't read yesterday's comments or leave one myself. I don't know if I could offer any advice on the situation. While I believe commenters whole heartedly leave comments with the best intentions, it's not always what we want to hear, but they do offer a different perspective that perhaps should not be ignored.

For example Gravy Train -sometimes "excuses" aren't excuses. People make plans and have agendas and stick to them.

I give you credit for putting yourself out there. It's not a quality most of us are comfortable with.

E said...

I love your blog! I also love the fact that your posts are honest and uncensored. I thought it was a great post showing how you really like this girl (but not in that creepy physco stalker kinda way). The thing to remember is - you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time!

PS also loved the Time Out great Zach Morris moment :)

eleanor hope said...

oh!! please DON'T sensor your blog!! your one of the most real ppl i've actually read about. it feels like your the little voice in my head that's like, "ok, do this,but then what happens if i do that? Or what about this..." you know what i mean? i had a slight feeling that this was going to happen. i had scrolled over some of the comments & was like, "Ouch! I'm pretty sure he JUST wanted to meet her! and didn't (just yet) want to do anything else with her..." If people want to be mean, then they need to vent in a journal or something, not to people. Blogs are like a public journal, but that doesn't give anybody a right to be so HARSH. and besides, anybody with half a mind could tell that you like to joke around, and are not always totally serious. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog & hope that your comments are better today.

eleanor hope said...

ha ha & the Zach Morris thing was PERFECTION.

Krystal said...

i like your blog. not sure if i've commented here before or not, so hi!
i feel like you have a good thing going with your blog and being uncensored and everything, it's what you're about so don't change cuz of some debby downers. i just said debby downers. okbye!

Princess Pointful said...

I understand what you are saying here so very much. People often seem to think that what you blog is all you think about, when there are a million other things in your life you choose not to share. Particularly when you don't write a diary style blog, which you most certainly don't.
So, because you write one day about being disappointed to not meet a girl you are really into, everyone looks too far into it, as though that was the only thing going on in your life at this time, as though you are obsessing over it.

I write about my ex, who I also spend 6 years with, approximately every 6 months or so. And it never fails that people tell me to stop talking about him, to get over him, etc. As though these bi-annual posts are a sign that I am still dwelling, rather than just something that popped into my head for a few seconds that I decided to write about.

Blah.
I hope this made sense!

courtney said...

for the record, yesterday's VERY HONEST blog post inspired me to be just a bit more honest in my own blog.

keep doing what you're doing. not *everyone* has to get it.

the frog princess said...

A point very well made.

And now I'm totally going back to figure out which comments set you off. At least I know it couldn't have been mine, as I only left it a few minutes ago :)

I will say this: if I correctly understood from this post that you've chosen to write someone off because she didn't let you come visit the first time you brought up the possibility... well, I think that's a bit hasty. Just my unsolicited $.02 :)

Katelin said...

i still think you're awesome and that's all that really matters right? :)

but no really, the fact that you put it all out there when you blog is what makes everyone like you and read what you have to say. uncensoring at its best. you rock.

Janet said...

I hope that this tiny little gut feeling I've got that you may have insinuated that you're considering censoring yourself in future posts is completely OFF. Because, seriously, then why the hell blog? We love you and read you for your honesty. Know what I mean jellybean?

rawbean said...

I have always admired the fact that you don't censor your blogs. It takes a lot of guts to do that. Look how much traffic and respetc you get and you're a great writer! I know I have questioned how real the posts were in the past but I don't anymore, you just have a really interesting life and a talent for writing about it!

Please keep doing what you're doing.

Kellie said...

Dude, you build pillow forts on sleepovers? Awesome.

I always got the impression you were being true to yourself and writing your honest feelings. Just tell anyone who has negative things to say to piss off. You don't need that. It's your life. And I don't think you were moving too fast by just wanting to meet her in person. It's not like you were trying to sex her up. You just wanted to see if you had chemistry together in person like you do writing and on the phone. I think that is a natural progression.

JenBun said...

You can only be you... you should only be you... and who you are is great.

Anyone who doesn't know that isn't worth your time.

(And can I even tell you how much I love the SBTB reference?!? So so much!) :D

Christina said...

It's hard to ignore what other people say, especially when they post it in comment form on your blog. I agree with Jack, you'll do what you want in the end, stay true to you, if she can't handle that, then maybe she isn't the one.

You'll find her some day.

mistressmom said...

I read your last two posts, and I think you're head and shoulders above a lot of people, i.e., bloggers, potential boyfriends, etc. Just do you, man.

XO-M

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

While I guess, statistically, you're going to meet with less broad success, maybe your targeted results will be better.

Agreed.

And now that I've finished reading THIS post, I see that you weren't really planning to stay with her, which:

(a) is good, and
(b) makes the headboard excuse even less sensical.

I definitely, absolutely think you will find the right lady for you by continuing to be yourself. Because yourself is awesome. I feel the same way about myself, but my GOD it's hard. Because when we get rejected, it feels so personal, like we suck AS A PERSON. Which is not true-- that one just wasn't the right one.

Good luck with Bree, and beyond.

Jamie said...

Hey.. just came across your blog and it's great! I like getting a guy's perspective on things!

http://lasweetpetite.blogspot.com/
-Jamie

rs27 said...

Damn, these comments are great, quoting TI, anonymous comments and I'm sure there was a virtual handjob in there somewhere too.

I would take anything.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

p.s. In case this wasn't clear in my comment on your last post, I absolutely do NOT think it's weird to want to meet her after two weeks. What could possibly be the reasoning behind that? How may late night convos do you need to have with a person before grabbing a drink together? It's not like she lives on Mars, she lives in the same state. If she wasn't ready for it, that's her deal. You did nothing wrong by suggesting it.

p.p.s. Have you ever noticed that I ALWAYS leave two comments on your posts? I don't know why I do that.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

p.p.p.s. Ok, I have to say ONE MORE THING. Why are people saying that she thought you might be crazy? SHE READS HIS BLOG, PEEPS. SO@24 is many things, but a serial killer he is clearly not.

irunwithscissors said...

I think it made sense. You though she was nice and though it would be cool to meet her. Ignore everyone and just do your thing. no sense in trying to be something your not.

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Respect on not censoring -- I feel like crap every time I do it by omission, necessary as it might be to respect people reading.

And on the real, you doing your own thing is the way to go. Take the advice and make your own mistakes, because it's the only way you learn. Until then, they're just words.

Here's mine: Start by grabbing a drink, and go in not expecting anything except getting a face and a voice on an online personality. Might take two weeks to get there, might take months. Everything's got its own speed. You'll learn to match pace.

Leslie said...

eh. i'm weirded out that you actually got some funk.da.fied comments on that post. while reading it, i was momentarily bummed that i haven't met anyone like you (wait, i did, but that didn't work out) but was glad that you've actually moved out of square 1. that you're acknowledging that this something, could be, something. and that's awesome. so screw what people say; do what you want. say, what you want to say.

besides, how many of us bloggers/internetters are out there? there has to be one for everyone. :)

xoxo.

heatherdc said...

not censoring? blatant honesty? true stories, embarassing stories, great stories, entertaining stories, awesome conversations with that crazy Leo etc?

Uhhh, Thats why we read. Thats why we Keep reading! (even if um, "we" dont comment all the time.)

these are the kind of blogs that make me wonder what the Hell I was thinking when I opened mine to friends and family (i.e. its Not anonymous). I end up having to do a Lot of on-the-surface writing, that just doesn't cut it sometimes.

anywayyyy. keep goin*

Auburn Kat said...

You are absolutely right in making the statement "I can only be me." It took me a lot of heartache to figure that out. When you are in a relationship with someone they should love you for who you are.

Babs said...

well. I love your blog (which is obvious because, um, I may or may not have dreams about you). and if I spent hours and hours of my life talking with someone, I would want to meet them in person! you weren't moving too fast at all.

Blaez said...

slow and steady, freddie!

and don't be afraid to speak your mind. you can always ignore the negative comments.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

What constitutes "too fast?"

I mean, if you met Bree at a bar on a Friday, you might very well have a happy hour date with her the following Tuesday. (Even without several hours-long phone calls.)

That would be totally normal in the "live" dating world, so I don't see why it's so different if you met online.

But I do have a burning question... do you REALLY think she didn't read that post?

ButterflyLion said...

I think that one of these days, you are going to have a semi-nervous breakdown and delete this entire blog. Then shortly after, you are going to meet a girl in real life. Maybe all these differing opinions are making you a little crazy. Too many cooks spoil the stew, you know? Because, as harsh as this may sound, to be completely honest, I don't know of many girls that wouldn't be weirded out. I know from experience that blogs will fuck up your dating life. I have had to run around in circles to keep guys from stumbling upon mine. That is why I just deleted the whole thing and started over. Ugh. Stupid blogging!

Follow your heart and trust your instincts. You are going to be fine. :)

C$ said...

Well, now I just feel silly for apologizing. :-p --C$

OhMyHeart said...

You need to read this webcomic (yes, it's totally nerdy), starting here:
http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/GWS030.html

That is my bluff on Bree. She's more nervous about HER impressing you in REAL LIFE.

Just another perspective, and just do yo thannnng ;)

KatieSaysSo said...

First of all...you didnt say anything in this post that I didnt already know. =) So I wouldnt have even needed that explanation.

Also, I really appreciate the fact that you are so honest and I think it is one of the best qualities of your writing. The only words of advice I can give ya is that you just need to know how to distinguish between the comments that are from people who really do want to give you honest feedback and want to see things turn out well for you and then the people who are just criticizing you.

I know personally (and since you have been so honest and say it like it is) feel like I am giving advice to one of my good friends!

With a blog as popular as yours it doesnt surprise me that there are both positive as well as negative comments. But I do think that you should know at this point which ones matter =)

Amy said...

Screw that shit about how if you're going to be uncensored then you need to accept whatever bullshit people want to spew all over the comments section of your blog. It's YOUR blog... if they don't like what you're writing then they can fuck off and go read someone else's blog- but no, everyone feels entitled to their advice, their opinion. So close comments or get to deleting or just fuck 'em. I've been blogging for over 5 years now and with a very specific purpose- when I get sidetracked from that purpose by people threatening my family or sending me nasty diatribes in e-mail, they get blocked and flushed.

Hang in there. I think there is alot to be said for trying to maintain authenticity to whatever your purpose for blogging is... you may just have to get a little thicker skin.

BTW- my entitled opinion: I'm sure it's all about her and alot less about you. Part of the allure of the blogosphere is it allows us to be ourselves where sometimes in our real lives we can't be, for whatever reason. Maybe headboard-girl just isn't ready to be who she is in person.

Wiwille said...

Honestly I think you shouldn't read into your comments. When I write something controversial, especially if it's a long post, I'm amazed to see what responses I get and what people take out of it, and a lot of times they missed the point entirely. It's sort of like religious text. Yes SO@24 is the Bible and man hears what they want to hear. Keep writing to what entertains you first. You're not responsible at all for what people take away from it.

And good luck with Bree.

A Martini Always Helps said...

Ou, someone here just said show up at her door unannounced?! Sweet baby jesus that is the wrong advice.

Obviously, all my advice is right on key. That's why I'm 28 and single. Because I ROCK at dating.

(Let's face it, none of us know what we're doing.)

Narm said...

Dude - don't boil her - you have to bake her with some veggies and a light gravy. Trust me on this.

S. said...

Yuck. Mean people should just go crawl under a rock and stay there or just go on reality TV with the Stupids, either way.

I love your blog and appreciate it's honesty and admire you for that honesty. "Emotionally draining" - I believe you!

Oh yeah and both of your friends give great advice. Even if you don't take it, it never hearts to hear others' perspectives.

Acyd said...

ah, saved by the bell. back in the good 'ol days where teen angst and bad acting went hand in hand.

Janet said...

I read a comment from a friend of Ms. Megan who suggested you should have showed up unannounced.

Uh, NO. Wrong. Has "stalker" written all over it. Scary stuff. Plus, what if she's not properly groomed? What if she hasn't gotten her hair or nails done, and she feels like she doesn't look presentable? She doesnt look her best for that first impression. She'll hate you.

Seriously.

UBERMOUTH said...

Okay, I have read both posts and, being you're a guy and don't know SFA ,I will tell ya what's what :)

You're acting too insecure over the 'great rejection that wasn't' and also,fuck your readers who want to come here and judge you! They need to get lives. YOU do NOT have to justify SWF to them.

Bree, and I hope that does not out her blog identity w/out consent, was NOT rejecting you.
SLAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! Don't you know anything? * No wonder you're a virgin. :)
She likes you or she would not be talking on the phone.
You seem studly,fun,bubbly and then as she is getting cozy on the phone, you spring on her a THREE day meet?
SLAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Wassa matter with you?
Women can't take that kind of pressure! Meeting a hot guy online, and as she's wondering if she should lose 10 lbs.before she meets him- which leads to an indepth examination of EVERY flaw ..... you're practically walking up your steps!

This is NOT like RL dating, so women like to know the men-beyond the IMs and blog.They also like to have time to , over imagine/analyse/stress about every case scenario.....we can't commit to a pair of shoes in 2 wks!

Yeah, the headboard was an excuse ,but not because she didn't like you-but because she probably DOES!
Women are not as casual as men about these things- after all it's 3 days where you could be a toad and the longst 3 days of her life.
Or you could be Mr Right and she could be madly in love after 3days....and we need 2 mths to psyche ourself out for either-and then can only commit to a lunchdate-not 3 day incarceration, where either scary scenario could happen.

Two wks on phone is NOT enough to spend 3 days together.
She's not rejecting you, B. Who would?You're a catch! Twit!
I loves ya though, but still....

SLAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
:)

P.S You're really deluded if you think she hasn't read this post 10 times!

That's like when a woman says, for practical reasons, we can share my bed,but don't come on to me. And the guy says,' Of course, I won't.'
:)

UBERMOUTH said...

Darling, I am going to roast you on my blog. :)

Sorry can't help it.

Don't read it though, okay?

Promise?

hahaahaa

Katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lump said...

well holy shit. I read your post before this and saw the bazillion replies of "advice: you got and figured my advice could pretty much Suck It.

I like how honest you are. And that's all I have to say about that.

Just Playing Pretend said...

I've been a reader for a while (long while really) but never felt compelled to comment. Or maybe I was intimidated by you. Not sure.
Anyways.
Today is the day I comment to say I think your fantastic. Thanks for entertaining/helping me through the mid twenty dating drought some of us face. At least the drought I face.
Please don't change a think about the way you write.

MarvelousMOM said...

I had noticed some of the comments and I was even caught off guard for you. There are always those kind of people though. I really, really liked Jack's response to you. And I liked Leo saying that someone will see you for the great guy that you are. And I completely agree. I think you are wonderful and you deserve a fabulous girl that will compliment you. I don't see you finding said girl in a bar though. You are far too good of a guy for that. I have truly enjoyed reading your experiences, your thoughts, feelings, everything. I think you being uncensored is one of the best things about your blog and why you have so many readers/commenters. You are real.

Trixie the Pixie said...

Whatever it is, I've been reading your blog for quite some time now, and I enjoy and appreciate your honesty and ballsiness to NOT censor. Sometimes, some of the best and most entertaining writing out there comes from those who choose not to filter. Keep doing what you're doing... I, for one, find you hilarious and adorable, and not at all creepy, attention-seeking, or whatever else people may have been calling you.

Okay, that's all. :)

CarmenSinCity said...

I totally know how you feel about your blog and it being uncensored. I love my blog and I write about anything and everything. No holds barred. I used to leave comments free and open for anyone. However, I got this crazy stalker chick, she figured out my last name, she found me on myspace, she probably knew my address. She left the meanest craziest most stalker ish messages. She would leave 10 and 12 and 20 messages a day. She was insane and I even cried over it. Finally, I made the comments so that they had to go through me for approval and I approve everyone's comments except for her. She's still reading and she still leaves comments, but not as many. Crazy and insane. I love your blog - keep up the REAL writing. I enjoy it.

Mrs. M said...

I personally love your blog and think that the last post was the same as usual, except she's a fellow blogger. That being said, I'm glad you took the chance to still blog knowing that she COULD read it and allowing your faithful followers to know what's going on with you, even though you didn't have to:) Thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

well holy shit. I read your post before this and saw the bazillion replies of "advice: you got and figured my advice could pretty much Suck It.

<-- This doesn't make sense? Or I'm drunk. Or both.

Bella@That damn expat said...

94 comments? Geesh, you won't be reading this one so I don't have to gush.
First time on your blog but I like it. Screw people who can't take honesty. What's the point of censored blogging?
I believe that meeting people online has replaced meeting people in bars/clubs. If after all this she can't take -ahh, I'd say forget about her but you two seem to click so I won't. Give her some more time, plenty of people are still a little creeped out about the whole meeting online buddies in person thing.

Viviane said...

I agree with Leo, you probably need to be more patient. If she really is put off that easily, I don't think she was really that interested in the first place.
Plenty more fish in the sea.

As for uncensored blogging - I couldn't do it. Good for you if you can, but I think you have to be careful to balance the uncensored blogging and it not influencing your private life, especially when the lines blur, when you meet a blogger personally or at least have more contact with them going past blog comments (when you stop being anonymous).

Charlee said...

96 comments. really? really.

you do have a very endearing tone though--don't you wish we could have zach morris moments in real life? i have been wishing for that quite consistently since about age 11.