I had a conversation today with a girl friend of mine who absolutely reamed me for a single word, a simple adjective if you will, that I had used to describe Bree in a previous post.
My friend might as well have taken a shiv to my kidney in a prison yard. Because of that one word.
Apparently the word "cute" is the absolute worst insult you could ever give a girl.
Ladies, to prevent future instances such as this, can we please get a fucking Venn diagram or a damn flow chart of some sort as soon we (males) escape the womb? We really need to start reading this shit from day one, as soon as that slime is wiped from our eyes newly developed eyes; we should be studying for exams like this.
First off, I am going to bring my proposal to a higher court: my fair and shrewd jury of readers. Should we not be calling girls "cute"?
Webster's definition of the word "cute":
- Main Entry:
- 1cute
- Pronunciation:
- \ˈkyüt\
- Function:
- adjective
1 a: clever or shrewd often in an underhanded manner b: impertinent , smart-alecky
2: attractive or pretty especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way
I'm going to cash in all my poker chips and say that most of are using definition 2 to describe these girls who are pleasing to they eye.
And strictly based on my pal Webby, it looks like a compliment to me. At least that's what I spent the last 25 years believing (along with the idea that someday I'd hit a growth spurt).
But according to my friend, I might as well have drawn a Hitler mustache on my upper lip and drop kicked a fluffy hedgehog like a hacky sack.
Apparently I'm also not allowed to also use the word, "attractive" either.
So I can't call a girl "cute"??
I feel like "cute" is a safe word. It's not as dull as "attractive", but not as creepy as "gorgeous" or "beautiful". I'm going to even say that the word "pretty" is border line uncomfortable.
I mean, sure, I can THINK a girl is "gorgeous", "sexy", "beautiful", "stunning", "take-my-shoe-off-and-beat-myself-on-the-head-and-howl-like-a-wolf-good-looking" to a girl I'm admiring from a distance and have never met.
But I shouldn't SAY any of those descriptors to the girl I don't really know, right? That's just fucking weird.
Please discuss. Or open MS Paint during your lunch break and bust me out some kind of chart that expkains acceptable and not acceptable compliments to give a girl.
You'll be doing my gender and me a huge favor.
142 comments:
LOL. Hang in there... ; - )
I think "cute" is definitely a compliment.
Cute is what you say about a girl who isn't pretty and you have no other way of describing her. It's like hearing, "Meeeh she's cute, but look at the hot girl over there."
There's nothing wrong with cute. Generally speaking, based on my friends thoughts (and mine) I'd say "attractive" is generally used to insinuate that she is in fact a dog and you just don't want to be rude. A lot of girls will use "cute" for someone that looks a little young, but to say a woman is cute, is like saying she's pretty but you're not sexually attracted to her. HOWEVER, when guys use it, they tend to think cute and pretty are synonymous. As long as you mean it in a nice way, it will come off that way.
Just don't call her sweetness.
My bff and I had this argument a couple weeks ago. Her bf called her cute and she got mad at him b/c she is beautiful, hot, exotic, gorgeous. Not cute. I, on the other hand, love being called cute and adorable. Apparently b/c "thats what I have going for me." I'm short and sweet and act like a 5 year old. I am cute.
I also think "cute" is a compliment. Some may be turned off by it, but I really think you're safe using that adjective.
I think it depends on the girl. . I wouldn't mind being called 'cute' but clearly some girls do. The Boob Nazi has a point, and if 'cute' is used in comparison to someone who is hot, gorgeous or whatever, then it might not be as complimentary. It seems like you were using it in a good way though.
Do guys have an issue w/ any words like that?
I LOVE being cute. I'd much rather be cute or pretty over beautiful or sexy or something. I also prefer being called a girl to a woman though, so who knows. I'm also goign to go with M. Alianna and say that attractive is cringe-worthy...and sweetness. :)
I guess it depends on the girl. I'm a little crazy, unwilling to grow up-ish these days.
There is no room for Logic when dealing with most females. Just hang on tight and hope for the best! :P
Are you kidding me?? Cute is a great compliment to a girl! At least for me it is. Ignore that girl and just keep describing any girl you find attractive as "cute".
Geez. Some people are WAY too over sensitive.
I hate when people call me cute. Dogs are cute, not people.
I think 'beautiful' is the only suitable adjective. If she hasn't hit beautiful on your ranking system, then don't call her anything at all.
I call bullshit on this, whoever doesnt like being called cute obviously has some issue with their own attractiveness in compared to others - i.e you didnt call them beautiful.
I have no problem being called cute, its young, youthful and at 30, very, very welcome!
Personally, I like the word cute. Especially when it's directed at me. Maybe that makes me weird?
While I never take "cute" badly, I'd rather be called something else. Ya, girls are cute, but so are babies and teddy bears. And quite a bit on the shorter side, sometimes it feels like "aw, look how cute she is" in a childish way rather than a compliment.
Lame, I know. But 'tis true. Do I mind being called cute? Nope, not at all. Just prefer another word.
I have no idea...Bitches are crazy.
If we can't call girls cute anymore than I give up. I'm going to cash in my penis for video games and call it a day.
"Cute" is only not a compliment to girls who are trying to be older than themselves, I think.
I mean, it's not like you said "Awww.. she's so cuu-uuute. (inane baby talk)" and then pinched her cheek. To me, "Cute" is like saying she's fresh faced, natural, friendly smile, great laugh and meets whatever someone's physical requirements for attraction are. I always think of "gorgeous" as someone in a print add with loads of makeup and dressed to the nines.
Cute is good. Cute is comfortable. Cute is "I'm attracted to you, but I'm not going to creep you out by drooling too early". (At least that's how I take it when a guy tells me that I am.)
First, dolce is correct. Second, it doesn't sound like this came from your girl Bree, but from someone else. So if I may ask...why should you care about her opinion? Is she your BFF, sister or mom or something?
The only one that matters on this topic is Bree, and her reaction will tell you a lot about how understanding/centered she is, (versus shallow/neurotic). Good luck....
VI
Oh PLEASE. "Cute" is a compliment. If someone finds that offensive they need to get a life. It's obviously a compliment. You're not going to refer to a heinous fugloid as "cute" are you? No.
Maybe you should just go back to the olden days when ladies were described as "Handsome". Or you could call her "smart" because heaven forbid you notice what she looks like or deem it any way noteworthy.
I don't mind being called "cute" -- I think it's a pretty accurate description (as far as that kind of thing could ever be accurate, anyway). However, I have a non-existent love life (worse than yours, do you believe it LOL) and sometimes I look back and think "when he said I was cute, was he saying I was immature? too young for him? uninteresting? Because apparently he wasn't actually interested." So yeah, it's not like I'm going to get offended over it.
Cute is definitely a compliment!
You call them cute? I just go with bangable.
Try it.
This is so crazy - because JUST YESTERDAY i wrote this in an email to a male blogger friend:
"There is a distinction and it is so crucial to not eff it up. If you do, you might as well consider that whole thing a loss. unless you have the ability to learn from it and make the necessary corrections. it goes like this: Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, Sexy/Hot (to me they are interchangeable), Gorgeous, Stunning."
In my opinion - and most of the girls have the same opinion where I'm from, you don't call a girl a word that you would also use to describe a little sister or a dog - Cute can be used to describe both.
- Pretty is like saying "she's pretty, but not hot". Girls who are pretty are attractive but they're usually "just ok" - like "yeah, I'd do her".
Then you break into the really really really great looking women: these women are hot, beautiful, gorgeous and stunning.
Male blogger said I was beautiful, and honestly I walked around with a smile on my face the entire day! NOTHING can a woman smile more than having a man tell her she is beautiful. Gorgeous and stunning are mostly reserved for going out on dates when you first greet her, or even during sexy time. But only when its done right and not creepy during sexy time. The other time "going out time or meeting at a event" is appropriate to tell her "you look stunning" or "you look gorgeous". It will seriously make her day/night.
I don't mind being called cute, or pretty, or whatever - but if its someone who is sexually attracted to me, then being called "cute" is sort of like saying about a guy "i met this cute boy" - even though you're a man. It just takes the attraction and romance down several notches.
But most women understand that men don't get it - but it still bothers some of us.
Wow this is long. sorry!!
Oh, for the love of God. Don't listen to these girls that are insulted by cute. They're entirely too hung up.
To me, cute means cute. Pretty, attractive, funny, fun to be around. Cute.
Sure, I love to be pretty. Gorgeous, beautiful, stunning- none of these creep me out. I think we all want to be seen as knockouts, and maybe cute pales in comparison to the way we'd like to be perceived..... but......
You put entirely too much power into another girl's crazy. If Bree doesn't like cute, you have a problem. Other than that, people need to chill out.
Girls that are offended by cute have not spent enough time being called things are absolutely not complimentary at all, or worse, they haven't been ignored altogether.
If you told me I was cute? I would giggle and say thanks, and that would be the end of it.
This is how we women get reputations for being difficult. I have a lot of other things I'd rather be difficult about!
I like cute! But then again I'm small, with big blue eyes and freckles. How else is someone supposed to describe me? Ha.
I actually had a guy friend who hated the word "cute". I never knew it could be a taboo word until he made a big deal out of it saying "cute was for puppies and 5 year old children." Oh well, it's just personal I guess.
Cute is bad? Really? If someone referred to me as cute I'd definitely take it as a compliment. But I clearly don't analyse things as much as some other people out there!
Just don't call her "Breathtaking" a la Seinfeld. Damn I miss that show!! Anyway, I'm a girl and I don't think "cute" is bad.
I don't mind cute at all, but it's rarely what I get. And why is "beautiful" creepy? Have I been meeting creepy dudes without knowing it? In my experience, the younger ones use "cute" and men in their 30s use something else.
There's some longwinded answers here. But for me, cute is meh. It's girl-next-door, and I don't want to be that.
If a girl is 'attractive', I'd prefer to use the adjective "hot". She's hot is always better than she's cute, IMO.
I personally think "cute" is a fine word to use. If a girl is "cute," she'll be cute forever (like Sophia on the Golden Girls). If she's "hot," that is definitely going to fade with age (unless she has a doctor's help).
I take cute as a great compliment anytime! Women who have issues with that word are insecure. I use cute to compliment my girl friends as well and there is no problem with that because we know we look good!
no, no, no! cute is FINE.
i mean, once you've been together for awhile and you're seeing how far you can take things, if you know what i mean, i wouldn't try to get in pants by telling her she's the cutest girl you've ever seen. gorgeous, beautiful... those might be better words.
but for early attraction? cute is wonderful. for the little things she does that make you laugh and shake your head? "you're so damn cute," is a perfectly acceptable response.
i have no idea where that girl came up with that. cute isn't an insult...
it's... cute.
also, i absolutely can't believe some of these ladies have ranking systems for which word is "prettier" than the next. good lord, i thought *I* had a tendency to over analyze...
Like most things in life, compliments are not black and white. Cute can be completely fine to one girl, and it could also seem like a insult to someone a bit neurotic. Just like beautiful can seem creepy to some people. I think the general rule should be not what word you use but how genuine you are in saying it. If you aren't comfortable saying it then its not going to sound like you mean it. Stick with cute if that's in your comfort zone yo.
You CAN get shivved for calling someone cute.
If you're in prison.
It depends on the context and the person. If I don't know you, I don't like cute. I feel like it is a last resort, like that's all I am. Or that you're commenting on the fact that I look 16 when I'm 23.
Did you write that in a blog comment?
The comments section can be a weird place to tell a girl something about her physical appearance.
Lady bloggers want to be attractive because of their awesome writing, not because of the way they appear in photos.
The photos are just a bonus. To see the woman behind the intellect, or lack there of.
I would totally take "cute" if I was out on a date, tho.
As far as I can tell, it depends on the girl in question.
Further research is needed.
cute is for your friends little sister or a puppy.
cute is non threatening and no fin.
sexy. hot. beautiful. shes...wow. anything but cute for a crush.
Are you serious? She had a problem with "CUTE?"
That's lame.
i guess it depends on the person. i'm 37 & still love to be called cute.
i'm only hot & exotic behind closed doors...;-)
Oh boy, I'm about to get kicked for this one but - was she an angry feminist? Now, don't get me wrong, I am very effin liberal, I believe in the goals of the feminist movement, but just not always the actual women and the arguments they use to make their points. Throwing a shitfit over the word "cute"? Uncalled for.
As many have already said, "cute" is a diminutive. It's a compliment - and a safe one - sure, but it lacks gravitas. It's the same principle as how a guy would feel if he were called cute. "Great, thanks, I have no idea what you mean by that."
I never get called cute because I am tall and awkward, so I would probably laugh and roll my eyes if I were. Conversely, I had a guy who regularly addressed me as "beautiful" (as opposed to "babe" or "hon" - nope, I don't get offended by those either), and not only was it weird, but it felt overused, like it lost all meaning.
Like you said, cute is safe. It expresses some form of endearment and perhaps interest, but is not as dismissive as the sometimes-patronizing "adorable" (ex: my friend Jack is one funny lookin dude, he knows this, but I regularly refer to him as "adorable" because of his personality - it's not meant to be patronizing because I love him dearly).
I think the bottom line is call Bree what she likes to be called and what you're comfortable calling her. It's no one else's business beyond that.
Hmmm, well I don't usually get that word thrown at me...I guess technically I wouldn't be cute because I am tall and curvy and that is usually used to describe a petite girl. But I do think it is a great compliment. Really and truly no girl should take offense to that.
As a matter of fact, if I was referred to as cute it would probably make my day. Just a teeny bit...as I would think would be the case with any girl.
I didn't really think there was anything wrong with the term "cute." Apparently I was wrong?
Cute is an insult. Only puppies and babies are cute.
Cute is condenscending to say something when she is no considered pretty. ET was cute as is Shrek!
Attractive is also an insult. It's the grown up version of cute.Attractive means not so hideous you have to run away.Attractive means all facial features are present and in correct position, no huge boils anywhere, or missing body parts...so yeah, they're attractive-all things considered.
Pretty is okay to say .
I dont see anything wrong with cute, but I also dont see anything wrong with gorgeous or beautiful. Its all in how you say it. I definitely take it as a compliment when I am called cute! Unfortunately there is no real answer for this, because I think girls have different opinions on this matter. I say if you think cute is a good compliment then keep using it.
I am 40 this year (in a month exactly....yikes!) and I get called cute all the time, and to me it's a major compliment. Because I'm not beautiful, or hot (although I have been told that by some when they've become more than just an acquaintance), I'm cute, in a perky, upturned nose, green eyed, red haired, big open smile, freckled face kinda way.
It is in no way an insult and if a guy I don't know very well calls me beautiful, I get the creeps...they don't know me well enough to call me beautiful :)
Sorry we women can be so difficult.
Wow, I see nothing wrong with calling a girl cute. Cute is definitely "safe".
What?? Haha. Why is that offensive? I mean, I guess I could see how someone could SAY it offensively-- like if you were saying it kind of dismissively. And I have known women who were very, um, "vertically challenged" who've spent their lives Battling the Cute, preferring to be seen as 'sexy' or 'professional'.
But in general? Definitely a compliment. Call me cute anytime you want, SO. I think you're cute, too.
verybadcat -
Girls that are offended by cute have not spent enough time being called things are absolutely not complimentary at all, or worse, they haven't been ignored altogether.
You hit the nail on the head there, my friend.
I'm a petite girl and inevitably I get described as cute, tiny, short little, ETCETERA. (By guys and girls). There is nothing I can do to change this, and quite frankly, I think shorter guys tend to get the "cute" description more so than "hott." Does one of those sound more appealing to you?
Anyway, I prefer gorgeous or beautiful over cute...especially because cute is in some ways just a description of my size. Everyone says I'm cute, so if a guy says something else it's a more unique compliment.
However, I don't think these compliments are mutually exclusive (Okay..no MS Paint Diagram.. but how about statistics lingo??) If you really like someone they are like: "ALL OF THE ABOVE." They are cute, hott, gorgeous, attractive, etc. etc.
I think developing a nickname will solve this problem once and for all. Seriously those are better than compliments if they are good!
Looks like everybody's gonna hate me, but I'm with Cheryl. Cute is the low end of the totem pole, kind of like saying "She's okay, but if the beautiful/gorgeous woman comes around...I am oww-howwwt of here." Nobody likes to think someone out there is better looking than them. So, if you can't say beautiful, don't say anything.
I've had a lot of GUY friends say they don't like being called "cute." It's like you're calling them a puppy dog that you get all googly about but don't take too seriously. The guys I talked to wanted to be "hot" (or something with more ooomph). I feel the same way as a woman.
I agree. They (women) really do need to come with a guide or manual. You can never do anything right lol. Naw all jokes aside I thought cute was safe and beautiful/gorgeous was for your wife and if you say that to any other woman they would think you were creepy. I guess its all in how you say it? Dang what's the world coming to. (B@$CH is a term of endearment (I don't say though) and "CUTE" is an insult)!!! LOL
Maybe this may help you in the future.
The Newsradio Dictionary of Pretty
pretty = pretty
cute = pretty but short and/or hyperactive
beautiful = pretty and tall
gorgeous = pretty with great hair
striking = pretty with a big nose
voluptuous = pretty and fat
sexy = pretty and easy
exotic = ugly
I think it probably depends on the girl, but I agree with The Boob Nazi (wow, there's something I never thought I'd say).
"Yeah, she's cute, I guess, but I'm not into her..."
Something about "cute" indicates Little Sister versus Hot Chick I Want To Bang Sideways.
Granted, if you called a girl the latter, I doubt it would go so well either.
I never thought that "cute" was an insult--actually, I like hearing it because it because it can describe both my visage and my personality (as in, I find you endearing because you are attractive and you sang the Spongebob Squarepants theme song along with the rest of the kids when you saw the feature film in theatres).
However, I used to get a little upset that my husband always called me "cute" when he liked the way I looked. Basically I took it to mean "fat."
Yes: my brain has been warped enough by society to take "cute" as "fat". And I'm a girl with a BA in English!
My logic was this: I have a nice face and a medium-sized, curvyish body. If I wasn't beautiful to him it was probably because I am a lay about slug with a nice face.
Eventually I realized that a lot of dickweeds had called me "beautiful" and only the guys who really liked me for my personality and my model good-looks (what? no) called me cute.
The lesson:
You will never be able to predict the logic of an individual woman. So just roll with the punches and if a girl over-reacts to a compliment, rather than jokingly describes her crazy logic as to why it's not a compliment, move on.
I hope that helps!
I have never had a problem with "cute." I'm barely 5ft and I tend to act like a 4th grader on occasion. That usually doesn't warrant a "hot" -- cute will always work.
Really?
I don't have the patience to read through all the previous comments and see what the verdict is. My thoughts are just like yours: what the hell is wrong with cute?!
I'm a girl. And you can call me cute any time.
Oh and add the followers gadget will ya?
lol.... this was funny ( but I am sure you were completely serious) I freak out about stuff like this too :0/
But fucc it... if the shoe fits - wear it... if a girl is cute... then she's cute... simple as that
I look very young for my age and get the whole cute thing alllll the time... it doesn't bother me
-Pang
p.s. I would love to see what a girl would have to look like to have you hit yourself over the head with a shoe and howl like a wolf! :0)
Holy shit this has gotten a lot of comments. I'll just say this. "Cute" is often used in my environs as a non-dramatic way to describe a woman as attractive. "Beautiful," "stunning," "gorgeous," "hot," etc. are all kind of dramatic. "Hot" I could use with some friends, but it's often perceived as boorish. The others are dramatic and weird in casual conversation. And "attractive" is, as others have pointed out, boring. So cute is a good easy way of getting the point cross. One can elaborate by saying, for example, "Yea dude, she's seriously cute."
Got it?
i say you put up a poll, haha. i think "cute" and "attractive" are fine as compliments and i don't see why they wouldn't. i guess us ladies are just complicated...to say the least.
/shrug. I like the word "cute" because it implies more than just attractive looks but also a bubbly/easy-going personality. I think it's ok to use it :)
I think it depends on the context in which it's used and the particular guy whether it's a compliment or not.
Damn, cute is so complicated!
Le sigh.
I don't think saying a girl is "cute" is an unacceptable compliment, but I do think girls take it is a lesser compliment than being called "beautiful" or "gorgeous." I think one reason for this may be, and a lot of people have already commented on this, that the term "cute" is often used to describe someone younger, often children. Also, perhaps some girls may take the term "cute" to be platonic, meaning you look at them as just a friend or more like a sibling than someone you would want to date.
Who knows, us girls are definitely complicated (but if you ask me, I think you boys are too)! :-)
I HATE when people call me "cute." Bunnies are cute. Babies are cute. I am a grown-ass woman and I want to be pretty or hot or even attractive. But never cute. My point is proven in your own definition by the reference to being "child-like."
Wow, there are this many comments and I bet you're still scratching your head in confusion.
Someone previously mentioned that those who have issues with being called "cute" obviously haven't been called much to begin with. There's plenty of truth in this. I used to have issues with being called "cute" (hello! puppy dogs are cute!) but I was a teenager and my self esteem needed a little help.
Now? If a guy calls me cute, it's a compliment. I have a young fresh face and I'm short/petite. It fits. There are times when my boyfriend says I'm stunning, beautiful etc. but on a general day I'm cute and I love it.
Obviously women are weird, and it varies by the woman. I wouldn't worry too much about it, so far it sounds like Bree wouldn't have an issue with it either.
My boyfriend calls me "cute" all the time, and I know that he means it to be a compliment. Sometimes it is about mannerisms more than looks. However, I MUCH prefer the compliment of "beautiful," "gorgeous," "hot," or "sexy."
Nothing wrong with cute. But switch it up if you really like a girl. If you really do think she is beautiful, TELL HER.
Hmmm I'm with OhMyLaughter and Sassy Britches on this one. We know it makes no sense but that's the way the cookie crumbles!
I don't mind being called cute at all. I actually market myself as cute and I'm quite content with that.
I didn't know if you'd be coming back to my place to see my response to your clear agony at my post, so I'm coming here to write back:
I guess you won't be using the description "cute" for the Gyllenhaal family, eh? :P
Oh my god, I can't make myself read all the comments.
I think it's totally subjective. Some people like the word cute, others do not. Who cares!?! It's not much of a big deal. And taken in the context of your writing, it's fine, in my opinion.
Chart to follow later if I decide my reading for class is uninteresting.
I am very tempted to do a venm for you, only because I love to graph stuff. As for cute...well it is not a deal breaker but I think most girls think of cute as childish and then it is like, oh you think I am a child.
ALSO, in defense of women...men have PLENTY of quarks too. You want us available and when we are not then you are annoyed and when we are you are uninterested. You want someone adventurous, but then you want a little rough housing and then we are freaks. I mean, where the heck is our venn diagram?!?! Get to charting sir, I really want to see it!!! (I will do the same).
I agree with The Boob Nazi (There's a sentence I never thought I'd type!). Hot. Hot is the only acceptable term when you first meet a girl. Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning...those can be used on us later.
Frequently.
I call guys cute all the time. Is it an insult in that instance as well?
SAY WHAT? I don't know but the word Cute is definitely OK. it's a compliment, in my opinion.
I mean, you can call me cute anytime.
I wouldn't mind being called cute at all. Though I can see cute being quite the insult in certain situations. Picture this... you and a girl are getting frisky, her clothes come off, your clothes come off... you are exploring each other clothing-less for the first time... and she says... "aww how cute..." See, calling someone cute is not bad. It could be worse. For you.
I like cute as an initial point of entry but after he knows me better I damn sight better hear gorgeous, sexy and beautiful daily.
I don't mind being called 'cute' at all!
& I don't think 'attractive' is bad either if you're not speaking directly to the girl. Seems a little formal that way.
I once had a guy I work with tell me he was "very attracted to me" and it creeped me the hell out.
I don't mind being called 'cute' at all!
& I don't think 'attractive' is bad either if you're not speaking directly to the girl. Seems a little formal that way.
I once had a guy I work with tell me he was "very attracted to me" and it creeped me the hell out.
Ahh, the "cute" vs. "beautiful/gorgeous/sexy/etc." debate. I really think it depends on who says it. If I'm hanging out with one of my guy friends and I'm acting silly and he calls me cute, totally ok. If my fiance walks in and I'm huddled under 3 blankets and wearing my hoodie while drinking hot chocolate and watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", he can call me cute. If I'm dolled up and we're going out, he cant call me cute - I have to be gorgeous. So...I've I'm either w/a friend or bumming around, cute is ok. Otherwise, I totally hate it.
Haha, I doubt this cleared it up.
Ok there are 4 categories for girls. Cute, pretty, ugly and gorgeous.
Reese Witherspoon is cute
Rachel McAdams is pretty
Amy Winehouse is ugly.
Angelina is gorgeous
You can call me cute, anytime So! (wink)
(ohman, I can't believe I just say, didn't I. Let's blame sleep deprivation)
But seriously, there's nothing wrong with being call cute, but some girls might take it there's nothing else to describe and she could easily think you think she's not pretty enough.
Now, I think pretty's where the insult's at.
Gorgeous and beautiful seem absolutely fake.
I love being called adorable, because instead of being a childish endearment, look at the word in a literary way, I'm damn ADOREable. So anyone could adorable me, see?
(maybe I'm too literal)
Wish I could draw you a Venn diagram but I've got to get ready for work.
Whoever told you that is a liar. Cute is good.
I know I already commented on this, and someone has referenced my comment, but this post was something good to chew on as I mindlessly updated a spreadsheet at work.
Additional thoughts:
The LOMB ladies call boys cute all the time...and this is usually for something they do or say. Yep that's right:
A guy that is HOTT can also be CUTE
-BUT-
A CUTE guy MAY NOT always be HOTT.
Ohhhh Snap. Insert girl everywhere I said guy. That might be your answer. Cute incorporates personality and is a compliment. When describing how girls look.. I guess we prefer words that only really fit for a physical description. It's kind of weird to say someone has a hott personality?! Hahaha that's all I've got!
I think "cute" is a word you use when you describe someone you genuinely have feelings for. Hot and sexy, while flattering if said in a non-creepy way, suggest lust and not a real desire to get to know the girl for who she is. Cute and pretty to me mean that you really like her :) We females may be tough to get a handle on, but I think you know us better than you think you do!
I think it all depends on context. Sometimes cute can be bad but other times it's good... it's all about how you use it.
Please see OhmyLaughter's comment above. She nailed it perfectly with her example!
But, I still think any girl who gets offended over a word that should ALWAYS be a compliment is plain bad!
Got bored before I read all of these, but...
To me, different words imply different meaning.
Pretty refers to the face, facial features (especially eyes and smile) and hair, and the way they fit together.
Sexy refers to the body shape, and pays no attention to the face.
Hot/gorgeous refer to just physical features. Hot can be used with a modifier, such as 'quite' or 'amazingly', gorgeous can't. Gorgeous is better than hot
Cute refers to personality as well as prettiness.
Lovely refers to personality.
Beautiful would be the best compliment, as it refers to looks, shape and personality.
Oh, and for the record, most guys won't lie about a girl. If they don't find he attractive, they'll steer clear of using words that compliment her looks, If forced to find a compliment, we'll look for one that fits
Cute is safe... but it's not too much of a compliment. It depends on how the person wants to be perceived. Personally, I tend to try to play up a cute/pretty sort of look rather than "hot", so "cute" is hardly going to be considered an insult for me.
Other than that, I think Chris got it pretty spot on. Just call her whatever you see her as (but maybe tone down the beating yourself thing...)
The girls who don't like cute are the ones who have always and only ever been called "cute." I like cute when I'm in PJs. But if I put on a slinky black dress and a guy says, "Cute," I'd be less than flattered.
The best word? Gorgeous.
I think it's the "especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way" that makes the word seem like a way I don't want to be described. Especially childish. Youthful, usually okay. Delicate, maybe. Childish, just not what a girl wants to hear.
Cats are cute, little girls in pigtails are cute. Someone your interested in, hopefully they're more than cute.
Oh shit! You should have told me just a few hours earlier... I already sent out a mass email to all of your friends informing them of your love of girly songs.
I've gotten a few replies in which they inform me that this is no surprise to them, considering you spent your weekend picking out a tea kettle. What a bunch of assholes, man. I love me a good tea kettle! Did you pick out a cool color(mine is red) or go for silver to keep it manly?
girls are a crazy species man.. Really, do we even want one to keep? I like cute, but I like it more for puppies. I'd go with "good looking'
1) Acceptability of adjectives partly depends on who you're talking to (I like "cute", your friend doesn't).
2) Partly, (I believe) a girl's reaction is based more on how she feels about you than exactly what you do or say. If she has the hots for you, most any positive attention will endear you to her more while the same approach will likely irritate her if she's not into you.
Again, not to deal in generalities, but I think there's some truth to this concept for a sizable segment of the female population.
I agree with The Boob Nazi. Cute is for people that you wouldn't give a 2nd look at and attractive is just awful.
so. the issue with the chart is we (the female species) wont all agree on the same chart. therefore, making a chart wont be doing you any favors, because the chart i make may work for some but not for others...
i'd stick with beautiful though... there's a generally resounding consensus that beautiful is an acceptable adjective.
cute is for kids, puppies, or cartoons.
I think "cute" is a natural term to use early on because when you're still figuring out your attraction/relationship to someone, you don't want to characterize it (publicly or privately) too sexually.
I also think of "hot" etc. as terms that describe immediate reactions--the girl walks into the room and you think "whoa." "Cute" seems more appropriate in situations where her attractiveness kind of occurred to you as you got to talking to her/looking at her--it's more nuanced, maybe. And I think people can be both.
But few people are quite as both as you. ;)
The thing is...
Differnt words have differnt meanings depending on where you come from so of course by asking us you're going to get a wide range of answers.
Personally I would assume that you would be like "well yeah shes pretty but check out that chick! Now she is smokin hot"
If a guy says that a girl is beautiful I think thats the best thing in the world. *shrugs*
One thing that really pisses me off is when ppl say "effing" or "eff" its sooooooo annoying. If you're going to swear just fucken do it damn it!
Cute is for puppies and little kids.
You can't be "cute" forever.
It's okay to sporadically use it, but make sure you pepper your vocabulary with other compliments. "Gorgeous" definitely beats it all.
i like cute. tell your girl to back up off of your statement and accept the compliment that has been given. does girlfriend lack self-esteem ? or is she out on a vengeance?
Other words you can use: Adorable, Bangin', Eccentric, Exotic, Fly, Fierce, Fresh, Groovy, Hott, Impressionable, Interesting, Mesmerizing, Mysterious, One-Of-A Kind, Refreshing, Rockstar, Wholesome.
Being called "adorable" and "exotic" are my faves.
#100. what an accomplishment.
The first guy I dated after The Big Breakup of '08 texted me, "You are so cute!" and I was absolutely smitten from that point forward.
To me, it's definitely a compliment, but I like it best when a guy says it after I DO something cute or funny, not just to describe how I look. I like being told I have a "cute" personality.
I disagree with your friend. I don't think being called cute is a bad thing. I like being called as such, in fact.
Aw, no guy's ever called me cute :(
Oooooh... so thaaaat's been my problem. I've been using definition #1!
I say cute all the time and I've heard the same thing - some girls take offense. This is nonsense.
I call chicks cute all the time, just not to them. I don't think it's a big deal, but what do I know, I'm a guy.
When a guy tells us girls he thinks we are "cute" we usually assume your underlying thoughts are one of these 2 options....
1. That you do think we are cute, but just cute. Cute is a childish sort of charm so it's not seen as a great compliment. In other words, you don't think we are hott or beautiful as all girls want to be told.
2. If the girls secretly likes you, then you she will be let down because she might think you would never get with her because she is only cute. That you will see another girl walk by and think that SHE is hottttt.
I do feel for you poor guys because you have no idea what you are getting into sometimes and I know you can't just throw it out there and say, "your hott!" without feeling like a womanizer. Hope this helps though. Try just not to say anything at all if your friends seems to react so strongly. haha.
I think we need one of Narm's pie charts.
Btw, SO - I think you are cute!
Cute is perfect. There is no better compliment, especially from someone you don't know that well yet. In my experience...
Hot = I'm already thinking about your naked boobs
Sexy = I'm already thinking about your naked vagina.
Pretty = I've seen better, but you're not bad.
Awesome = I love your personality.
Sweet = I like you as a friend.
Adorable = I'd like you as a friend with benefits.
Gorgeous = I'm hoping that showering you with compliments will make you horny.
Beautiful = I'll write you embarrassingly bad poetry and leave it in the kitchen for all your roommates to see.
Stunning = I hate myself. So much.
Stick with cute.
Whut.
Seriously? Who reams someone over the choice of word? I hate females sometimes. Girls are so idiotic and get upset about the stupidest things.
And personally? I 100% agree with you. If a guy calls me stunning, beautiful or gorgeous, I instantly feel as though he's being insincere. Cute though? You're damn right I'm cute and thank you so much for telling me.
I think all words are pretty benign; it all has to do with the context in which you use them. Depending on your tone, your attitude, and the conversation, "cute" could mean anything from "not hot or sexually attractive" to "adorable, like a bunny rabbit" to "young, naive, and impressionable."
Some women might take issue with any one of these uses for the word "cute." I say, unless you're comfortable with the woman and have already established a repoire, why are you gonna comment on their looks [to their face] anyway?
It depends on the context.
Cute is definitely a "safe" word, in that you use it to describe people who have nothing wrong with them, but you're really not attracted to them.
If a girl I was attracted to called me cute it would kind of suck. If some nobody did it wouldn't be a big deal.
I am ALWAYS called cute, never anything else. It might be a safety thing, because I know the ones who have called me that were attracted to me, but still, as the "always cute and never hot" kinda girl, it makes me feel less attractive! Girls are crazy and you can never know what words are sensitive to them! Some girls like being cute, others would much rather be hot!
I've been a lurker in your blog for awhile now but I'm starting to feel like a creep by not commenting.
Anyway, I think cute is perfectly fine. If a guy called me cute, I would think that he doesn't think I'm just sex walking on legs... which is especially nice if I don't know him too well. When overused, it might make a girl feel like an androgynous 12 year old who you just feel the need to be nice to hence your decision to pick the safest compliment in the planet which applies to both males, females, pets and even pillows.
I usually never link back to a post I wrote if another person writes something that reminds me of something that I've written, but I had to share this:
http://brainyjane22.wordpress.com/2007/03/20/being-called-the-c-word/
To show why some of us don't love 'cute'. ;)
I'm also confused........Cute is well, cute isn't it? It is how it sounds?
Haha I just discovered and read quite a lot of your blog - it's amazing and I shall be following (not that you care cos about a million people already read it but thought I'd say hi anyway!)
For the record - cute is a good word...a lot of girls really wouldn't mind.
i like cute! and for the record, i would FAR rather be "cute" than "Hot Chick I Want To Bang Sideways," a la the frog princess.
hahaha... this was sooo LOL worthy.
Cute is okay... just makes a girl feel like she's not pretty enough to be called gorgeous!
GL!
Adorable = I'd like you as a friend with benefits.
HAHAHAH.
Well, that explains a lot. Hah.
I though cute was safe as well :) Oh well.....
Funny you should mention cute...I recently wrote one of my newspaper columns on the topic.....
http://melissabxoxo.blogspot.com/2008/12/sunday-column-redefining-new-cute.html
'Cute' I can deal with, but I'm really not a fan of 'attractive'. It's a word that shouldn't be used when talking about girls our age, 'cute' on the otherhand can still be sexy.
P.S. Just wanted to let you know I used my Rico Suave tag again today... Thank you very much!
Cute is a horrible word for all us girls who have heard "______ is gorgeous/hot/sexy...her friend is ..cute"
Cute might as well mean, moderately almost attractive in a little sister kind of way.
Cute, attractive, pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, doesn't matter just say it like you mean it!
I think "cute" is a compliment! I'd take it.
Cute is definitely different than gorgeous, but I still consider it a compliment. Just as witty may be different than smart, but both are compliments.
hilarious! But boys can be just as confusing :)
"Cute" is fine, and usually safe unless she has a self-esteem problem. Telling her she's "beautiful" when she knows she's not can make her think you're blowing smoke up her ass. Telling her she's "gorgeous" or "hot" erases any doubt about what's going on: you're drunk and/or trying to get into her pants, and that's not necessarily a good approach if you just met.
OTOH, if she tells you *you're* hot, going for the pants might be what she's after, too!
I agree with the very second comment:
"Cute is what you say about a girl who isn't pretty and you have no other way of describing her."
Besides the definition you posted says "attractive or pretty especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way". As a woman, I wouldn't want to be described as pretty in a childish anything, because a)I'm an adult b)it would be a bit creepy (as in why do you like childish looking women? are you a pedophile?)
and to ammend my original comment....
To those who say women who have an issue with cute only do because they haven't been called much else...
I have been called cute, smart, hot, beautiful and stunning by men on occasion (besides from my husband) as well as unkind things, ...so it's not entirely true, it just depends on the woman
Cute is okay but girls get insulted because of the "childish" insinuation. I love when a guy calls me beautiful, it feels more sincere then "sexy" or "hot". Attractive is vanilla pudding my friend.
What do I know though, I'm only called "cute" in the morning when I'm whining about not wanting to get up.
like theoddduckling said..it depends on the girl.
i've been called cute - at first it kinda got to me, but i've made peace with it. i've also been told at one stage or another that i'm beautiful and gorgeous - they're all compliments...and that's the point!
thing is - i'm petite - so, what comes to mind is cute i guess. and trying to fight something i inherently am is completely pointless.
so, i'm cute :p
A girl is "cute" only when she is not otherwise attractive. Not beautiful. Not pretty. Just cute.
Some girls are best described as cute, and it's in now way a disservice. That said, the girl in this particular post seemed to react to it the same way most guys would react to being referred to as "nice".
I completely agree with you. "Cute" is a safe compliment. When a guy uses "beautiful" or "gorgeous" with me I am immediately creeped out. It's like saying "what can I say to get in her pants?" It's too much to be genuine.
"Pretty" is usually something girls say about other girls.
Cute, even adorable, is something I hear often and not weird at all.
Although, cute is sometimes too safe - like as a girl, I won't necessarily think a guy is into me just because he says I'm cute, you know?
I think cute is an compliment.It may not be the same word as beautiful or hot,but most of the time it has the same meaning especially if its a boyfriend or girlfriend saying it.
UGH. Cute. Yuck on so many levels. The reason it's a sickening description is in the definition you supplied. Where it says pretty in a CHILDISH sort of way. Now unless you're a pedofile, I don't see how you could be attracted to someone who was pretty in a childish way. Cute is for puppies, rainbows, fluffy animals, babies, little girls. When used to describe a grown adult woman, yuck..never use cute. Or at least, don't make it the ONLY word you use to describe said adult mature female.
I think I've learned to generally hate that word because I've always been cute to the exclusion of every other adjective. I'm almost 24, but people still think I'm between 12 and 17. And I'm sort and petite, not helpful either. It's hard to be taken seriously if people constantly think you're illegal. I've always tried to be seen as MY AGE because it can be quite annoying to not be seen as an adult when you are one. Hence, the ick factor of cute. If you struggle like me to be seen as your age (i.e. legal, adult woman), being described with a word used to describe immature things feels condescending.
Cute is "You're not a hag, and you remind me of a child who I have no interest in sexually." Cute means to me that a guy is not attracted to me, that I don't have the power to turn him on, that he wouldn't want to date me (because why would you date someone you're not attracted to in that way?).
I would love to be sexy, beautiful, hot, gorgeous, or even pretty. Something that lets me know I make my man hot and bothered. To me sexy and beautiful mean you have that 'it factor'. For example..Johnny Depp. Maybe not the most physically attractive man in the world, BUT, he's dang sexy because he's got that something, that mystery that makes it impossible to look away. He's got that fascinating something that draws you in. Cute doesn't do that. Cute is blah, bland, immature, devoid of sexuality (unless you're into children), Awwwwwww in some high pitched tone.
Sorry for the long comment, but it's a topic that makes me crazy.
To those complaining about the word,
If a guy calls someone cute, why don't you use his meaning and not attach your own 'Just cute' meaning to it?
It's not about what you think the word means, it's what he thinks it means. It's the meaning behind the words that means something.
As a guy, If I'm more than sexually attracted to a woman the term hot seems much more shallow than cute.
But really, people need to stop complaining.
Let's see... I could take cute as a compliment, if it were said by a guy I don't know. My husband calls me cute. He doesn't call me hot, or sexy, or a bombshell - yet he says it about other girls. So you can see why I take "cute" as an insult. I've gotten "beautiful" a couple of times, usually in the sentence: "You're beautiful just the way you are" when I ask about if the makeup makes me look okay (so it sounds kinda insincere). I get pretty from him sometimes, "You look pretty today" when I dress well. But even when we're getting intimate, he won't and never has said hot, sexy, or bombshell. Being called those things is part of foreplay. Call a girl cute when you're trying to bed her, and she might be turned off by you. Go with hot instead.
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