"Why are you so far away from me?A few weeks ago I received an extremely nice email on my So@24 account. From a girl in Denmark.
I need help and you're way across the sea
I could never touch you - I think it would be wrong
I've got your letter
you've got my song"
- Weezer's "Across the Sea"
A Danish bird eh? My interest was immediately piqued.
I emailed her back (as I do all my emails) and we shared a brief exchange. Eventually we became Facebook friends and I saw pictures of my Danish reader.
You know how people use the expression "my jaw dropped", but they don't mean it literally? Mine actually did. Piercing blue eyes (I'm full of cliche's this evening, but trust me on this one), cute dimples, and a natural blond. Be still my blogging heart.
Since then we've been exchanging emails. Like paragraphy long emails! You have to understand, this is exciting shit for a guy like me.
This gorgeous girl went through and read my entire blog. A blog that doesn't hold back revealing the most humiliating mistakes with women, failure with online dating, or how I've gone on and on about a two year drought. And she still wrote to me. And continued writing to me.
To me!
When she wrote me, "Jeg var også jaloux over din "date" ;)"*
You couldn't wipe that stupid grin off my face. I totally geeked out like a giddy school boy; I can admit that.
Bah. Again, I'm a realist. It's most likely just harmless flirtation. If it was possible, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to ask her out for a drink, but Copenhagen isn't close (damn that Atlantic Ocean). And besides, I'm not sure the US dollar would do too hot over there.
But fuck, it's nice to have a cute, smart girl give a damn or give me the slightest bit of attention, even if it is in the form of electronic mail. It's fun! It feels good!
And yes all you cynics (e.g. Leo), I haven't forgotten what happened with the Irish girl, Caitlin. That whole experience was like the time when I came back from a soccer game, grabbed a bottle of refreshing Kiwi-Strawberry Snapple from the fridge to quench my thirst and began chugging; only to realize that my mom was using the bottle to keep her chicken broth. I haven't forgotten that disappointingly, salty gulp... but it wouldn't stop me from enjoying a tasty Snapple in the future. I just have to inspect the bottle closer for floating chicken bits before taking an enormous pull.
Okay not my best metaphor, but you get it.
I really can't help but wonder I pissed off some gypsy and as a result, got stuck with this curse. Why is it that when a gorgeous, intelligent girl shows any interest in me... she happens to live on the other side of the world?
$9.56 still remains untouched on my Skype account.
Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to use it up one of these days.
* Translated from Danish = "I was also jealous of your "date"
60 comments:
This was your funniest post yet.
Yay I am the first to leave a comment! :)
awww....I'm sure your luck will change at some point :P
You just have to show those American girls the bloggery side of S0@24
I am sure, given time, a girl not unlike this one will make hersself known that lives within *dating* range...until then bust out the web cam....
I must thank you, So@24, for occupying me at work. In the great MI, it's 4:45 AM, and yes, I'm working. I've been working the past hour and 45 minutes, and I was starting to get sleepy, then I saw you updated your blog; it gave me something to do aside from wishing for sleep. Thank you!
-EB
My theory is that when someone is "geographically unavailable" the guy and the girl both have no fear/no expectations/nothing to lose and are totally open with each other. Because you may even get deeper disclosure than with someone you would see everyday...
its refreshing and BAM you all of a sudden have a crush who lives far away. In your case, Denmark, but this theory tends to hold true within the USofA as well.
I've never been to Denmark, but if you ever take a European vacation.. why not meet up with her? Until then, use this as an ego boost. If this girl in Denmark can fall for you, so could a girl from Cali. Lucky you--your state is huge!
LOL!!!!!
I literally started laughing at the chicken broth story hahahahahaha
Yeah I hate the Atlantic Ocean...a lot...ef that bitch.
I agree with OhMyLaughter. Unavailability always leads to both parties opening up quicker without all of the normal BS. And although it is not feasible to date this woman, since last I knew, you were not a transatlantic swimmer and did not own a private jet, flirtation can be just as fun until a closer gal comes along.
Oh, and nothing but drinks should ever be stored in drink bottles. That is a law. If it isn't, it should be.
or you could just use google's new video chat thingy.
and the story about the chicken broth is super gross-- i am surprised anyone can live through that. yucko
I'm not trying to be cynical, I just am. But consider this, if she's really that hot, why is she single? Is she single? Maybe her English is bad. Maybe she doesn't translate well.
lol I did something very similar when I confused a jug of dirty dish water for lemonade...
So what if she's on the other side of the world? If she's fun and you like her why not chat?
In the very least you could get yourself a really cool friend and a place to holiday.
I used to have a huge blog crush too. He lived on the other side of the country not the planet, but still, too far to be taken seriously. It started out as a flirtation over email and skpe and now we're getting married in 2 months. I would just say, it might not be probable that things will work out, but it isn't impossoble. And even if things don't work out in the long run, that is no reason not to flirt and be friends. Have a little fun getting your feet wet.
Gotta love the interweb, eh? Makes 'long distance' type things feasible. Good luck with this one, she sounds super cute! :)
It's called taking a vacation. Get some plane tickets and live out a week of bliss with a beautiful girl in a beautiful country. At the very least you could have a free place to stay for a week.
I can attest to the fact that falling for someone in another country has its challenges. i.e. not being in the same time zone, hemisphere or continent sucks. And if you really like them it is sort of torturous to just wish for it to happen. But the excitement (and the accent) is fun!
I'm waiting for all the American girls to increase their efforts to win you over.
Oh I get it....you want the competition over you.
Okay, I am totally calling bullshit, you know why? Because there are I'm sure, a ton of girls who live within the US who would be all about dating you. Maybe not in California, but at least they are state side as opposed to the Netherlands.
Sadly, I have $14.50 on my Skype account that is still untouched :-(
floating bits of chicken... stuff.... eek! ...can't breathe.... (barf)
i dont know what the male version of "you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince" is, but it's true. And when you find them, it's that much sweeter!
I know a guy that met a girl from Greece online. After chatting for a few months, he flew to Greece to meet her and now he's married to her and living in Greece. Who know...maybe you'll be living in Europe one day too...
Take what you can get, man. I say Skype that motha... life only gives you so many chances to have phone sex with a blogger from abroad.
Call me Cassandra but I saw this one coming:) You're right on target, there is nothing wrong with two people and mutual fascination, even from a distance. Plus... she's a fox!
Have fun and keep things in perspective.
Your posts are always interesting and very well written. I don't know how you do it.
I was so excited to eat chicken noodle soup today for lunch.
Thanks for nothing.
I would argue that that actually WAS the best metaphor ever.
Kiwi Strawberry snapple is money, man!
SO... did you know that I used to live in Denmark? It's one of my favorite places in the world. I lived in Copenhagen for 6 months after college and have been back a bunch of times to visit my friends. It's a truly amazing place and EVERYONE there is gorgeous. If you ever decide to do something impulsive and go visit this girl, email me and I'll give you a couple of American in Denmark tips!
Oh and congratulations on the ego boost! It's nice to be wanted by a hottie!
She just wants a green card.
Remember that movie with Gérard Depardieu? Now there's an attractive man.
I got off topic....
See I told you natural blondes do not exist in America.
I did NOT get that metaphor. But, yes, chicken Snapple is gross. Lol!
Maybe Fate is saying you are destined to move halfway around the globe... but keep blogging! ;)
Does she have a sister?
i don't think you realize the scope of your fanbase, dude.
if you were a tool you'd be taking up all these female comment-leavers on their indecent proposals...i've definitely seen more than one "well, i live pretty close to you *wink*" written on these hallowed comment walls
I'm totally with you here SO@24...I can't escape from online flirtation and I even feel for a guy that actually broke my heart and he wasn't exotic or that cute..so..go so@24 go! You have all my support! Feeling someone across the sea likes you is awesome!
sorry, it was "fell for a guy"
Ew gross. I just gagged a bit when you said it was chicken crud that you gulped down. I can't imagine getting that instead of the expected strawberry/kiwi snapple deliciousness. Gag, blech, barf.
First ew, gross about the chicken broth.
Second, don't ever give up! Just try to find a girl on your side of the world. It helps.
Sometimes the emotional connections seem more important than the short physical ones b/c the emotional can be somewhat more genuine, more real, more something...
Plus, we all can use a little ego boost now and then.
I have to go and agree with Sassy Molassy. Good point.
And SO@24... you totally deserve a cute girl to be interested in you. Nothing wrong with that at all :)
PS- Hilarious with the chicken broth. You should have to CLEARLY label leftovers!!
I'm not sure I'll be able to look at Snapple the same way again.
Dude. Chicken broth in place of snapple. If you don't hear the snapple got pop...Wow.
Never trust an open bottle. Of ANYTHING!
you crack me up
Heck, getting excited over e-mails from a hottie is totally an ego (and mood) booster! Come to think of it, that's the only reason I do online dating...all those e-mails from potential people who think I'm awesome - now meeting them, that's another ballgame (but since you are FB friends it's kinda like you already met, right?!) ;)
What a cute post, you should totally take a trip to Denmark and date her when you have the chance to!
I met my fiance through online emails and he was all the way in the UK.
I was there a month and by the time I was going to leave, and he proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond engagement ring from www.idonowidont.com so you never know! Go for it!
1. You had me at danish. I really thought the post was going to be about a bear claw. Dammit.
2. Danish women (like the Swedish) give us American blonds a bad rap. Usually because they aren't fake blond like us, and have naturally high metabolism being that they weren't raised on a diet of Doritos, McDonalds and TV dinners.
Actually, given the current global financial crisis, the US dollar is holding up pretty well compared to its European counterparts. Therefore I say give Ms. Copenhagen a shot!
Speaking of Scandanavian blondes, there was a girl from Stockholm working in my lab over the summer, fits the description you gave of the Danish girl. And she claimed she was "ugly" in Stockholm. I wonder what the rest of the city looked like.
I say GO FOR IT. What the hell, right?
And I know somebody who met his wife-- no, not girlfriend, WIFE-- on myspace. He's from Mpls, she was living in London at the time, but is originally from Norway. They're not even kind of creepy people. It could just work out. You never know.
That's a long ways away man ...
Maybe it will be like that movie Euro Trip.
You never know what can happen! One has to be able to dream...
haha! damn the Atlantic Ocean!
hilarious!
cheese danishes are good. oh, not that kind of danish.
and that was a perfect metaphor.
no, no it's actually :)
It doesn't seem like it, I know.
this definitely calls for a week in denmark. what's the worst that could happen?? :-)
that chicken broth story is.. well, it's awful, that's what it is.
Dude, the dollar has strengthened a lot over the past few months. The economy is telling you something.
three words "TAKE A TRIP"
that's all i'm sayin....
Someone buy this guy a damn plane ticket!
Actually, SO@24, what would you think about a fundraiser?
I think it can be pulled off.
I almost went out with an american guy once, but the ocean got in the way then too. And skype? Fun times!
Use skype to call Danish girl! Maybe she can do a semester abroad here :)
um excuse me but i'm pretty sure i've read your blog from start to finish and i didnt get any cool shoutouts... whatev.. blondes are my new mortal enemy.
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