Monday, September 15, 2008

Leo's Goodbye

I strongly urge you to read this post before you continue. This will make more sense to those of you who have been reading since the beginning. But for those of you who just climbed aboard this wacky train, all you need is to backtrack a few and you should get the idea.

The following is my (old) roommate Leo's farewell post.

* * *

In about an hour, I am leaving LA. It's an odd thought; I've been here for four years in college and as long out, but I'm looking forward to what new things lie ahead in lands distant.

However.

In about an hour, I will be leaving So's side. The band is breaking up. And that is going to be rough.

Humans naturally seek out their own kind—they attract those with shared traits and bond with those who possess a similar character. This mutuality serves as the foundation of interpersonal relationships—friends, partners, and of course, mates. Life, amongst other things, is the search for our better half, our significant other, out match. It's what brings you all here, it's something all of you know, or at one point have known.

Inevitably, humans find their match (or they think they do), and they pair off. Visits between pals become more infrequent. People fall out of touch. Friendships rust, get squeaky from disuse, and in many cases, decay into dust. I think this is tragic. For me, friends are my significant others. They are those in whom I see myself. They are my better halves.

And, for the last several years, So and I have been, well, to use the British definition to avoid sounding gay, each other's mate. We have been each other's crutch, confidant, and coach. The R2 to the other's C3-PO. We've fought the good fight together; each watching the other's back, yelling "duck!" a moment before disaster. To put this experience into words is impossible—there's just too much.

This is where I stop talking to all the readers, and address just one of you.

Dude. Bro.

We've been hacking our way through the proverbial jungle of this world together – throwing a stick out when one of us stumbles into quicksand, offering a hand to each other as we scramble up peaks, and generally picking the tarantulas off each other's back.

We've blazed our own path through this sweltering continent they often call Life, and looking back, we see how far we've come.

And now the path ahead diverges. You look down one, I the other. Somewhere many miles and moons ahead, those paths will merge again, but for now, I'm afraid this is it. I'll give you an awkward bro-hug, something that will be terribly inadequate in expressing how I feel, shrug on my rucksack, make some snarky little comment about the heat to break the tension, then head out. And right before I disappear over the ridge, I'll cast one last look over my shoulder, smile, flip you off, and be gone.

So. Fight the good fight, and know that somewhere out there, I will be too.

And remember… I'll be back.


43 comments:

Veronica said...

and here are the tears again.

...

raincheck?

Chardsy said...

I feel like I just went through a break up. But not the "I don't want to be with you anymore" kind of break up. The kind that happens when you are in high school and your parents tell you the family is moving cross country kind of break up.

If you need anything I am sure Elle will offer up her cheeks for you and maybe I'll even let you touch my sweater cows. I'm a good friend that way.

thenextfish said...

Oh sweetie, it'll hurt for a bit but you'll be just fine. Think of the great party you'll have when you see each other next.

logorrheic. said...

i'm with chardsy. i feel like i just witnessed a break up of a fabulous pair.

why are there tears? no seriously. i have tears.

The Suicidal Goldfish said...

Dude...I just wanted to say, we're here for you.

If you ever need someone at silly o'clock in the morning, then pick up that computer and SO's army will be on the other end of the interweb waiting for ya!

You'll make it, we have faith!

LBluca77 said...

That made me cry.

Don't worry SO we will watch your back until Leo gets back.

QueenBitch said...

Awww... I cried too!
Leooooooooooo Dont go!!

It really does feel like a break up as chadsy said.

It'll take a while but you'll get through it So.
You can always text, email etc then you can tell us all bout the european girls Leo is shagging!

The Charming Hedonist said...

24, we're here for you. And Leo, you'll be missed.

bigskygirl said...

dude. you boys are such sentimental fools. just de-lurking to say i read you pretty regularly and i also feel like chardsy. sheesh. again. sentimental fools. *sniff*

*~Dani~* said...

Im with The Suicidal Goldfish - we will be here for you SO. And Leo will be greatly missed. So sad :(

The Japxican said...

aw that is sad...the parting of Super Lovers is something that should never have to happen.

I know none of us are Leo but we'll do our best to help you with the parting.

Blaez said...

awe! it's always sad when your loved ones move away....

i recommend you get majorly drunk off your ass in his honor and hit on every hot chic that walk into the bar...

JenBun said...

You guys both have great things in store for you. And you will grow, and change, and be better for it. But you will still love each other (in a totally bro-love kinda way), and you will still be there for one another, and it will all be good.

Bye, Leo! We hardly knew ye...

Blaez said...

to confuse everyone else:

first he takes the whole thing into his mouth so only it's mouth and antennae is sticking out.

then he spits it out and catches it with his paw and throws it into the air. --he does this routine quite well, if he had better balance he could probly juggle 2 grasshoppers at once...

then he'll drop it and sit on it. lay on it. smother it up. by this point i thought it was dead... nope still alive!

and so the torturing continues with him licking it like he's sayin he's sorry and carrying it around in his mouth. all the while the damn thing is still twitching and trying to hop away.

finally after about an hour the poor thing is dead and Drake is ready to come back inside.

A lesson to be warned to other grasshoppers "Don't jump on our balcony to get out of the rain... The cat will torture you!"

and to answer your question :)

Trixie Firecracker said...

I wish Leo a safe trip both abroad and back.

Anyway...this sounds like a movie: now that Leo's gone, what will SO do? (paging Judd Apatow...)

Blinds said...

I feel an emptiness too. That is all I can say.

Dolce said...

Chardsy said it best...this reminds me when I said goodbye to my best friend before my parents packed us up and moved us cross country.

She's still my best friend.

Leo in Europe? The stories will be incredible!

Auburn Kat said...

OH, I am going to miss that Leo! That was a great farewell from your dear friend...

chasinglibby said...

i'm particularly fond of the 'i'll flip you off' sentiment.

i feel it depicts the depth of your friendship incredibly well.

you guys will have some incredible stories to re-bond over upon leo's grand return!

Anonymous said...

correct me if I'm wrong... but isn't he only leaving for a few months?! this makes him sound like he's dying or something.

Lys said...

Leo's going? I was hoping it was like a dream, you know - like something out of those soap operas where you hear someone is going and then you wake up and they haven't gone anywhere.

Best of luck to you Leo...

rawbean said...

Jesus Christ I can't take this blog (in a good way). It seriously puts me over the edge. Like a really cute puppy. I'm not down playing this event in your life at all - my god it's your best friend leaving. But dudes, could you two be any cuter? And the C3-PO/R2 reference...its too much....too much.

Douchegirl said...

Awww... you guys are so cute! Don't worry SO, we'll all have your back.

Leo, you will be missed! Best of luck.

Alexa said...

am i lame for slightly tearing up reading this?!?

this was sweet, you guys ARE great "mates".

as shitty as this is going to be for you i think it's going to force you out of your comfort zone - i mean who knows what will come out of it?

Princess Pointful said...

Awww... such sadness.
This is the unfortunate part of this growing up business.
(sadly, my friend Leo just moved across the country a month ago... sniff)

ÄsK AliCë said...

AWwww *hug*

You'll be fine, he'll be fine - and when you see each other again, think of all the stories!!

It does feel like a break-up :(

Narm said...

I wish all breakups ended with Star Wars references and Terminator clips.

Katelin said...

aw what a sweet farewell post leo...you will be missed.

TKTC said...

welp...we love him. but for every ending...

bon voyage, Leo! Enjoy the adventures and don't bring back anything too exotic from Ibiza.

And if you and Chelsea Talks Smack run into each other in the dark corner of some discotheque in Krakow, the blogosphere will eventually need at least a few of the gory details.

And Bon Voyage to you too, SO. A new day has dawned. Or so says Celine.

sid said...

Shit that made me cry. Hope you guys do manage to stay in touch.

Mel in Aus said...

Talk about a Double Hit! I just watched Animal Rescue where they had to take the old man's cats away and NOW THIS! I'm misting up big time. Looking forward to some guest posts from a good mate. You Ain't Heavy Leo!!

saratogajean said...

Good luck Leo!

And good luck, SO! Is this going to prompt a "SO-again" blog?

BloodRedRoses said...

That has to be the best farewell I've ever read. Hands down.

Must. Not. Cry.

k. mead said...

friend break ups are sad. but, you'll keep in touch, and find other people to have fun with. good luck bud.

shorty said...

Breaking up is hard to do. Your lives will never be the same again. Enjoy the memories and make new ones of your own.

Kellie said...

Awww... he'll be back. And in the meantime no worries b/c you've got a strong support chain right here! We've got your back until he returns! **hugs**

Ashley said...

Okay, I just did a crash course in this blog...read the whole thing in about a week. And honestly, I'm a little baffled by it all. You are witty, are a good communicator (on the blog at least) and seem to have your shit (somewhat) together. So, this two year drought that I just became witness to doesn't make much sense to this gal. I really respect the fact that you haven't boned a random girl just to get laid, but I think the more you delay it, the more it is hyped up and set on a pedastal, almost like virginity itself. You yourself said you are super picky, but just how picky are you? I mean, I dig Ghost Writer, think humor is one of my best qualities, and I love to "socially drink" just as much as you. And I know plenty of friends who are in the same category....so maybe its just LA cause us midwestern girls seem a whole lot easier to get along with.

villageidiot said...

hey man, email me. My BFF from college lives in Montreal (KoN), so I know its tough. But he'll be fine, you'll be fine, and you can still call/text/email/blog comment each other.

In fact, I expect/demand some Leo drop ins from time to time, just to keep score on those Euro babes he's bagging. Miss him already...

allthewine said...

this is the saddest day of my blog life.

Goodbye Leo! I was hard on you because you were my favorite.

unMuse said...

i think that's the most sentimental thing I've ever witnessed written by a heterosexual male. I've had to depart from a friend before, a close friend like the 2 of you are, and for the first year it was really hard to accept she wasn't around the corner. It got easier, though, and it was really cool to watch each other change and grow but still remain the same people at heart.

Angela said...

ouch... parting ways is always difficult. :( but you guys are friends no matter what, right? so it's still good. it won't be the same, but as the cliche goes, change is the only constant thing in this world.

`nic's noodle` said...

oh my gosh, wtH?? tears??
i only JUST STARTED reading your blog today and already i have something tugging at my heartstrings?

i love it when you men stop hiding behind the macho-wall :)
now if you'll excuse me, i've gotta go reapply my smudgy-runny eye-liner. phooey.

eleanor hope said...

it all makes sence now about leo not being by your side...

man. i'm feeling the tears prickling the backs of my eyeballs.surfacing...