Lemme tell you, it's a little overwhelming to wake up at 10:00 to a mailbox FULL of comments with readers' opinions on how to tweak a profile.
You guys didn't hold back and gave it to me straight. And for that, thank you!
Revision 1: The Part About Drinking
Also, apparently you guys think I'm a raging alchy. Huh. Which is fine, I guess. Just because I'm 25 and out of college doesn't mean I'm dead. However, I think that I mention booze a lot because:
- It's easy to make self-deprecating jokes about getting hammered and
- I've found that girls that like to drink are the ones who don't take themselves too seriously and are more outgoing. Maybe I'm full of shit?
Revision 2: The F*cking Part About Offensive Swearing
That was just a miscommunication on my part as the blogger. I know better than to swear like a sailor when trying to put my best foot forward with the fairer sex. I do it on my blog a fair bit, but not on a public profile! The swearing that some of the confused readers read was just my personal commentary to YOU guys, not what I actually put on the profile. I made the changes on that post for clarity.
Revision 3: The Tagline
Thanks to those of you who shared my pain with me on this section. It's ridiculous how hard it is to think of something good. Most of you didn't like what I had before (although SOME did), so here is what I settled on:
"Finding the perfect girl is like finding the Indian with the shooting star on Tootsie Pop wrappers"
Revision 4: The Height Thing
A funny and interesting dynamic between male readers and female readers was exposed in this area. Most females told me to be straight up and honest (not even an inch!): I need to say 5'3".
The guys (all 3 of you) said that it was more beneficial for me to say 5'4"... giving me that crucial inch to bring the ladies a-runnin'.
I'll let you guys ponder about the reasons why that is...
I put 5'3". I didn't want to, but the people have spoken!
The guys (all 3 of you) said that it was more beneficial for me to say 5'4"... giving me that crucial inch to bring the ladies a-runnin'.
I'll let you guys ponder about the reasons why that is...
I put 5'3". I didn't want to, but the people have spoken!
Revision 5: The Final Product
Alright here it is. I tried to take a little bit from everyone's comments to create the ultimate profile. Think of me as the Green Ranger busting out my badass flute and with everyone's help we put the final piece on the Online Dating Megazord.
Check it out and let me know what you think:
Hot Spots: I've developed an obsession with eating out at restaurants in Los Feliz. I haven't lived in Burbank very long, so I'm at a loss for "hot spots". As far as traveling outside of the US, I'd love to do it eventually it's just these pesky college loans
Religion: Atheist. Very respectful of others' beliefs as long as they aren't proselytizing.
For Fun: On weekends you'll catch me out laughing at some lame joke with my good friends. I may or may not be busting out a karaoke classic. However, a night in reading or watching a movie is never considered a wasted night. I am an MS Paint guru.
My Own Words: If someone would have told me 2 years ago I'd be sitting here stressing out about how to describe myself to AnonymousDatingSite.com, I would have taken their 8th rum & coke away.
But here I am times are a changin'. Online dating is the norm these days, I suppose! I have a close group of friends in LA, but I've found it's harder to meet new people outside of college.
For as long as I can remember, I always thought that 25 year old males lived in apartments with all black furniture, a mini bar, and glass coffee tables. Sexy cocktail parties would be frequent. How wrong I was. Maybe that's true for some, but not me.
Top Reasons to Consider Going Out With Me
* Ability to have a conversation without excessive use of the word "dude."
* Won't embarrass you in public. (*Actual results may vary.)
* Random quotes from obscure movies for every situation.
* I don't own sweatpants.
* You might as well get out of the house while waiting for the next season of "Grey's"
So, basically I'm looking to test the dating waters after a little bit of a layoff. If you've read this far, I already have a crush on you.
Drop me a line if you're interested. Thanks for reading!
So I guess I'm looking for someone attractive, funny and smart (Who isn't right? Just call me "Cap'n Cliche") for some interesting conversation. A great sense of humor is undervalued these days. Someone who is serious about her career, but won't shy away from spontaneously going out on a weeknight. A girl that can drop an old school Nickelodeon reference will always cause my heart to skip a beat. And a girl who enjoys naps. I love naps.
Check it out and let me know what you think:
Hot Spots: I've developed an obsession with eating out at restaurants in Los Feliz. I haven't lived in Burbank very long, so I'm at a loss for "hot spots". As far as traveling outside of the US, I'd love to do it eventually it's just these pesky college loans
Religion: Atheist. Very respectful of others' beliefs as long as they aren't proselytizing.
For Fun: On weekends you'll catch me out laughing at some lame joke with my good friends. I may or may not be busting out a karaoke classic. However, a night in reading or watching a movie is never considered a wasted night. I am an MS Paint guru.
My Own Words: If someone would have told me 2 years ago I'd be sitting here stressing out about how to describe myself to AnonymousDatingSite.com, I would have taken their 8th rum & coke away.
But here I am times are a changin'. Online dating is the norm these days, I suppose! I have a close group of friends in LA, but I've found it's harder to meet new people outside of college.
For as long as I can remember, I always thought that 25 year old males lived in apartments with all black furniture, a mini bar, and glass coffee tables. Sexy cocktail parties would be frequent. How wrong I was. Maybe that's true for some, but not me.
Top Reasons to Consider Going Out With Me
* Ability to have a conversation without excessive use of the word "dude."
* Won't embarrass you in public. (*Actual results may vary.)
* Random quotes from obscure movies for every situation.
* I don't own sweatpants.
* You might as well get out of the house while waiting for the next season of "Grey's"
So, basically I'm looking to test the dating waters after a little bit of a layoff. If you've read this far, I already have a crush on you.
Drop me a line if you're interested. Thanks for reading!
So I guess I'm looking for someone attractive, funny and smart (Who isn't right? Just call me "Cap'n Cliche") for some interesting conversation. A great sense of humor is undervalued these days. Someone who is serious about her career, but won't shy away from spontaneously going out on a weeknight. A girl that can drop an old school Nickelodeon reference will always cause my heart to skip a beat. And a girl who enjoys naps. I love naps.
* * *
Okay! Round two! Thanks guys!
Next Post: The Profile Pic (this time for sure)
Next Post: The Profile Pic (this time for sure)
54 comments:
Yay FIRST TO COMMENT!!
I have to say the revamp is much better. I also liked the greys reference very cute made me giggle.
Date me???
Now for this pic do we actually get to see the whole thing? or will you have your pretty blue block eyes going on??
Best of luck! There are alot of freaks out there :)
I don't drink, but I definitely don't take myself too seriously. You'd have to give a girl who doesn't drink a try sometime!
Like the revised one much better. Good luck :)
Better. Funnier. I approve.
And say 5'4", trust me.
Maybe "5'4", but with big feet." :)
One final completely optional piece of advice. Instead of atheist, I would just go with "not religious." I think it leaves you sounding more open minded.
I'd hit it.
I agree with Martini on the religious bit.
And I'm glad you're keeping the rum and coke line.
Dating sites are so hard. I tried for 3 days and gave in. I tried to be myself on my profile...believe me, with these answers you'll get more than a few winks.
My advice is to be different when reaching out to girls. It's almost more important than you're profile. Girls get tons of guys that will write them and say, "I like your profile" or comment on their apperance. The only person that I wanted to talk to was one who left me a short sweet email that asked me about the Derby (I went to college in KY). It was the only one that stood out.
You're going to be awesome! I can't wait to read more about it.
I read your comment from my blog and couldn't stop from laughing out loud in the Denny's where I get free internet.
That is so funny!!
I'm good friends with Martini. She showed me your blog about when you met. Hilarious.
I love the tagline in your profile.
I'm excited to see how the online dating goes for you!
I think this is good. Don't forget to focus on the girl, not yourself when you make contact. There's nothing I hate more than talking to someone who I feel has no interest in actually getting to know me.
Okay, so as someone who's done the dating site thing before and chanced to meet some of those people in person, I can safely say, be completely honest about the height. Any woman who has ever met a guy from the internet in real life has probably learned that if he is anything under 6'0", he has probably fibbed and rounded up to the nearest inch (or 2). She is likely very wary of such white lies, so if you're actually honest, it will probably win you some brownie points. (Ironically, I round down in my own profile, but I feel weird about the recent revelation of the fact that I am actually taller than I've thought for the last 8 or so years.)
Overall, some of the turns of phrase in your original profile seemed more genuine and natural, probably because of the off-the-cuff manner in which they were first written. Be careful about over-polishing. Clearly, you want to sound like you put some effort into your profile, but not so much that it seems like you obsessed about it (even if you did). It's the same principle as sounding cool, calm, and confident versus nervous and self-conscious in person.
Generally, I disapprove of exclamations in dating profiles. But I very much approve of your "Top Reasons".
I preferred the original phrasing about naps, though its current form is acceptable as well. But that whole paragraph should be moved up to just below the "Reasons" list.
Really, the best way to make sure it's a good profile is to test it out and tweak it if it's not getting the type of responses you want. Good luck!
And let me just tell you: finding that damn indian (native american?) on the wrapper sure is hard. Good luck, though :)
I think the tagline is cute. If a girl gets it, its a good way to figure out if she's worth it.
I would definitely say you should be truthful about the height. I'm sorta tall for a girl (5'6"), so if a guy said he was 5'8" and he was really 5'7", I would feel like I had been duped or something.
But good luck!
I really like the reasons to date me-- cute and will catch attention. The revamp is definitely an improvement :-)
Instead of atheist, go with agnostic. Unless you actually believe in the lack of a God.
Also, you need a zillion missing commas. Seriously. Make friends with commas and semi-colons NOW.
That line about "if you've read this far, I already have a crush on you" is CLASSIC.
Say "doesn't wear sweatpants in public" might work too.
Muy excelente!
I think it's a great improvement on all fronts and I like the new quote. Religion tends to be a touchier subject, I think most people would consider themselves agnostic rather than athiest or "not religious."
Oh and since you live in Burbank you should find your closest Versailles Restaurant and try their food. It's Cuban and it's amazing.
Very good. You sound open and sincere. All you have to do now is fix punctuation.
As an online dating veteran, having met many "profiles" in person, I have to concede that most of them do lie on their height and age. The result is that most readers automatically subtract an inch or two on the height, and add 10% to the age. Ugly, unnecessary, but true. People lie to get past that first cut.
I like it. And keep your real height. The extra one inch won't matter except to start you off on the unbalanced foot of deception.
If I read the whole thing (in TWO versions) do you have a crush on me??
Didn't read all of it. Just read your own words. Loved it. I was sold when you started describing a 25 year olds fantasy apartment. There's something so sweet about this piece. If I lived in LA I'd definitely look you up. Good luck.
Really love the tagline! And the fact that since half the girls reading your blog will have read all of that you now technically have a crush on all of them! ;)
Also like the Nickelodeon reference, although, PLEASE tell me you didn't like Kenan & Kel...??!!
Off for my nap now :) :p
I have a profile on two different online dating sites and, let me say, if i was checking out the available guys and came across a profile written like that, you'd definately get a wink from me!
Which is not much but you have to start somewhere :)
I'd leave out the religious comment, unless that's particularly important in the US, but why prejeduice people against you before they've had the chance to get to know you?
5'3? Im 4'11. 5'3 is good!
I'm digging the revamp. I think you injected more of yourself into this one. The tagline is great because it is something to spark conversation or even ask you about (Hey - have you ever found the Indian?). I also like how you reworked the part about what you do for fun. It sounds like you are up for anything and are always having a good time out or at home. Good job!
And like other commenters before me, I love the top reasons to go out with you and especially the line about having a crush on the reader if they made it that fall. Truly showcases your personality and humor (from what I know of it).
Waiting for the next installment...
Very impressive. Bring on the photos! :)
much improved! a lot more personality/conversation starters.
good luck!
Sounds great, you are so gonna get laaaaiid. Good luck with the online dating humping, oopps I mean hunting.
I would definitely find that profile interesting!!!
The one thing I don't like about online dating is how it can be a meat market! But, lots of people have met their husband/wife on there. Best of luck!
BTW, what ages did you put down that you were interested in?
Definitely down for the revamp.
Best tag line ever. Maybe you'll get lucky and someone will reply, "So, how many licks?" ;) haha
i honestly think you need to find a way to put a little more of "you" (or the you us readers perceive you to be, at least) in some of the answers. Especially the religion one. You are probably looking for someone, even if they do believe in a god, have a sense of humor about religion. Also, so many atheists out there are just so.very.rude. (I've ran across too many blogs.) Maybe something funny there? (some joke like "unless you count the something-something god. I'd probably put in the pizza flavored combos god or the god of organized chaos.)
Another random ideas is put as many little references that you'd want "that girl" to get, something that you tailor exactly to her. Not only does she feel special, but you get what you want.
(all of this is coming from someone who has never online dated. so I may be wrong)
in short.. it's coming along great, but I think it still needs a bit more.
ok so i'm liking the updates, specifically the tootsie pop, i OMGed out loud when i read it.
score.
Perfection!! I love the revision. If I found you online I would say hi!
MUCH better than the first time! I would change the part that says you are "stressing" about what to put ont he website. I would just say: "trying to figure out what to write on a www....com profile."
Otherwise very good
I tell you, the sweatpants thing would win me over. I hate sweatpants.
Love the new profile. An MS Paint guru, eh?
Hmmm....
Not sure I agree with everyone else about the religion thing...if you're an atheist I don't see the problem with putting it down.
"proselytizing"
chicks dig smart dudes.
Qouting random movie lines for every situation is pretty much my favorite past time.
yelp.com is a good place to find great local spots.
http://www.yelp.com/la
OK I realize that the height thing has been talked to death, but let me offer a different perspective. You should ALWAYS be honest about your appearance. As others have said, even that one inch will make a women feel decieved, but it's not just that. It also shows a lack of confidence. It's going to feel to these women like you are not comfortable with yourself and no one likes that!!
About the Atheist thing- leave it. You respect others beliefs and you want someone who respect yours. You shouldn't have to "soften" your beliefs for anyone.
I think it would've been fine to put 5'4. I'm 5'2 but I tell people I'm 5'3.
I think it's awesome. Nice revisions.
I love the revamp your quirky personality totally comes out and makes you sound intriguing and fun to hang with.
I wouldn't mention having not travelled out of the US - c'mon there was a family road trip to Canada surely.
Love the sweatpants line
Delete 'thanks for reading' they SHOULD be reading because you're great.
BTW: I have a soft spot for the alcomoholics so bring on the regular drinkers (and atheists)... but then I'm totally not the type of girl you're looking for.
Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story: The Tale of the Online Dater...
Your "Top Reasons to Consider Dating Me" is pure comedic gold my friend.
If I lived in LA I'd be all over that like white on rice.
oh very nice revisions. all the ladies will be swooning over you :)
You had me at proselytizing.
It's all been said, but of course I have to give you my two cents...
It's perfect!
I love the polished quality because it shows you really put thought and time into it and you're looking for substance not just a hook up.
I don't think you should have any worries!
If someone would have told me 2 years ago I'd be sitting here stressing out about how to describe myself to AnonymousDatingSite.com, I would have taken their 8th rum & coke away.
I like how you make it funny but it is such a cliche thing to say. Also, "I like to go out but I am not opposed to staying in" is what everyone says.
Other than those 2 points I think it shows your personality pretty well. I like your "reasons to go out with me". Very funny, very light hearted. Well done, buddy, well done.
Ok, I'm sorry. I totally suck. I said I would help and then didn't give feedback. But it looks like you've gotten more than enough cause your profile looks awesome!
You are so cute! Also, if you can somehow work "online dating megazord" into your profile, I think we will have a winner.
Good luck!
Ok, while I do like components of this better than the last one, it seems like you've reduxed it to sound like most of the other profiles I've ever read on these damn sites.
I don't know that this will make sense, but I'll try...I'm not sure that I'd be interested in talking to the guy who wrote this dating profile, but I'm def. interested in talking to the guy who writes this blog. Have more of yourself come through, there are a lot of guys on these sites and you need to stand out. I'll email you mine so you can see what I'm talking about.
Courtney
Where the fuck have I been during all this?!?!? This is exciting!
This profile is fucking killer!!! I love it!!! But, since I think you work in the biz, you're familiar with "I love it!" followed by "but we have notes." So here are mine:
I'd say 5'4". But maybe the women know better than I do.
I'd say agnostic instead of atheist.
I'm not crazy about this line: "Drop me a line if you're interested." I'm not sure why. Not strong enough, I guess.
Finally, dating sites may be different than Ashley Madison, so take this with an even larger grain of salt than my other thoughts. But I have a lot of luck with this, "First off, I love to kiss. Long passionate kisses where you lose any idea of where you are or even what day it is." And also this, "Odd as it may sound, clean and reasonably straight teeth is pretty important. Not a fetish or anything . . . I guess it just goes along with the no smoking thing. And the kissing thing."
I'm a little late on reading this...but I'm loving the new profile! Good job. This should make a girl smile: "If you've read this far, I already have a crush on you." Good luck!
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