I realized that's a lot of fucking work. And I'm a lazy, lazy man.
Instead, I am just going to cut and paste what I've written and you give me feedback (after Leo has given it a quick once-over, of course). I know you guys well enough to know that you won't hold back. If there is something that stands out that makes me look like a fucking tool... tell me. If you think something is particularly witty, hey... we all love positive feedback!
On your mark. Get set. Let's rock this bitch.
But first let me grab my King Cobra. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this...
There's been a bit of confusion. I will designate everything I put in the profile in QUOTES. Everything else is just my commentary to you guys!
Part 1: Physical Appearance
Best Feature: They ask you what Your Best Feature is. Such an unfair question. I mean, I feel like a total douchebag for having to actually point this out. I do get compliments on my eyes, so I guess I'll go with that.
Really puts that classic blue bar in perspective, doesn't it?
I put "Eyes".
Height: Goddammit. I knew this question was coming. I really, really don't want to put 5'3". I mean, I can be 5'4" if I wear the right shoes... does that count??
Sigh.
I put "5'3""
I put "Social Drinker"
Really puts that classic blue bar in perspective, doesn't it?
I put "Eyes".
Height: Goddammit. I knew this question was coming. I really, really don't want to put 5'3". I mean, I can be 5'4" if I wear the right shoes... does that count??
Sigh.
I put "5'3""
Part 2: The Part About Drinking
I think it's bullshit that the only options they give are "Never", "Socially; 1 or 2 drinks", and "Regularly.
I certainly drink in social situations, but who only drinks 1 or 2?? Fucking liars, that's who. But if I put "Regularly", I look like a complete wineo. Thoughts?
I certainly drink in social situations, but who only drinks 1 or 2?? Fucking liars, that's who. But if I put "Regularly", I look like a complete wineo. Thoughts?
I put "Social Drinker"
Part 3: Tagline
"It's tough out here, kids."
Part 4: About Me
"If someone would have told me 2 years ago I'd be sitting here stressing out about how to describe myself on a dating website, I would have taken their 8th rum & coke away.
But here I am. Times they are a changin'. My best friend and roommate ever since i moved to LA is traveling the world, so I thought this would be a good of an excuse as any to start meeting new people.
I'm always down to meet interesting and intelligent girls. A great sense of humor is undervalued these days. I'd like to meet a girl who is serious about her career, but won't shy away from spontaneously going out on a weeknight. Oh and naps. She must love naps.
This should be good enough for now, but I'll think of something really good (tolerable). I just need time!"
But here I am. Times they are a changin'. My best friend and roommate ever since i moved to LA is traveling the world, so I thought this would be a good of an excuse as any to start meeting new people.
I'm always down to meet interesting and intelligent girls. A great sense of humor is undervalued these days. I'd like to meet a girl who is serious about her career, but won't shy away from spontaneously going out on a weeknight. Oh and naps. She must love naps.
This should be good enough for now, but I'll think of something really good (tolerable). I just need time!"
Part 5: For Fun
"Any Friday or Saturday night, you'll catch me at the bars laughing at some lame joke with my good friends. I may or may not be busting out a karaoke classic (not the cliche'd stuff either). I try to get in a game of soccer every once in awhile."
Part 6: Favorite Hot Spots
"I've developed an obsession with eating out at restaurants in Los Feliz. I'm a weekend warrior; I like to round up the troop and hit the bars. I haven't lived in Burbank very long, so I'm at a loss for "hot spots"."
Part 7: Favorite ThingsMovies: Eternal Sunshine, Shawshank, Miyazaki films, Royal Tenenbaums, anything Pixar
TV: Freaks and Geeks, Adventures of Pete & Pete, Ghost Writer, Strangers w/ Candy
Music: Weezer, Decemberists, Beatles, embarassing old school punk
Last Read: Blankets. Picked it up as a recommendation from a friend and it blew my expecations. Quick read, I recommend it
TV: Freaks and Geeks, Adventures of Pete & Pete, Ghost Writer, Strangers w/ Candy
Music: Weezer, Decemberists, Beatles, embarassing old school punk
Last Read: Blankets. Picked it up as a recommendation from a friend and it blew my expecations. Quick read, I recommend it
* * *
Alright guys. Thar she be. Give it to me straight. You have some homework to do.
Next Post: The dreaded choosing which pictures you show off to the world.
Next Post: The dreaded choosing which pictures you show off to the world.
69 comments:
Part 1 you really can't lie in, since you do plan to meet these women face to face.
Part 2. I think after reading all of the other parts, you might want to put regularly, or else cut down on writing how many times you go out. It sounds like that is all you do from your ad.
Part 3. I think the Simba line is better.
Part 4. I'd skip the first 2 paragraphs, made me almost lose interest immediately. The rest is good.
Part 5 & 6. These highlight that you like to go out and drink and have fun. Is that the only impression you want to give out? Are you looking for someone to party with or are you looking for a serious g/f? Do you really know? I think you are looking more for companionship. But I don't know ya.
Part 7. Sounds good. Shawshank rocks.
What about kids? It might be highly unlikely at your age to find a girl who does not have any kids. When you write that what you like to do on your weekends is go out, that might not be suitable for all women, you are narrowing the field a bit. You might want to add that you like to lie around in your undies and have deep thoughts while watching cartoons.
I saw that Eharmony was having a free weekend...did you check into them?
Good Luck with it all. I have never followed thru with the internet dating thing, I'm out there on a few still I think. However, I have met a few guys in chat rooms and went on to meet/date them. It's really a shot in the dark. Like walking thru one of those fun houses, sometimes you make it all the way thru without slamming your face into something and sometimes you don't. I hope you get out with out too many bruises.
Best of luck. And hey, I like that you are 5'3". That's perfect!
Couple things - height, do NOT lie, I had a guy do that, big mistake. Some of us don't care how tall a guy is (and that's coming from a 5'8" woman here).
The drinking thing....just put socially. Just because you go to a bar doesn't mean you drink (although you might). Regularly would personally indicate that you're sitting at home drinking your time away which you're not.
Personally otherwise you sound funny, and if I was a million years younger I'd probably contact you, but then again I'm not some 20 something in California!
Douchebag and Goddammit to start things off...chill on that. I admit, I swear like a sailor most days but no girl ever likes ready the word douchebag. It makes you feel dirty - it a not so sexy way....Other than that, I like it. I think its important to be honest that you hang out, party, enjoy the bars, etc. Before I found my husband, that is the knd of guy I was looking for - someone like me who is in the bars, but doesn't want to "meet someone in a bar." Good Luck!
yeah, dont lie about the height. also, im not so down with the tagline, but i guess that makes me not your type. haha. also, dont say the stuff about leo being away and you wanting to meet more friends, unless, thats what you really want. also makes you sounds a teeny bit gay for leo. which, we know you all are, but you shouldnt broadcast that to girls you dont know. just my two cents.
It's nice ... But ... I don't know. You should think about putting something in there that puts you apart from the rest. Something really funny. Something you've done that you're really proud of. Remember you're not yourself, you're ambassador of yourself. You need to sell it.
Miyazaki, Ghostwriter, the Decemberists. . . Ah! *swoon*
And I'm not really digging the tagline, but I got nothing for you. Guess I'm not much help :) These online dating things are a mystery to me. Can't wait for the next installment!
Sounds good-- definitely tell the truth on the height thing. If you meet someone you don't want the first thing out of their mouth to be "you're not 5'4". It would screw up the whole date from the beginning.
The whole drinking question is tricky. If you put socially and the girl is really a social drinker... once a week, one or two drinks when she goes out, she might be put off by your drinking. If you put regularly she might think you have a drink when you wake up in the morning. I think you're young enough that putting regularly means you just know how to party.
Your tagline should be the line about going halfsies on a baby.
Okay, I agree with many of the comments here. I love the sense of humor. You will score big with that. However, most of your commentary is about going to the bars, hanging out with friends, being a weekend warrior. Nothing wrong with that as it is who you are. But there has to be more to you than that. Find the more and add it in. It will help.
Do no lie about anything physically. You will eventually meet these people and a lie will just sour it from the beginning. It is better for the person to think "wow he is better looking than I thought" or "just as he described" then "not again" as in "I do not recognize you from your picture or your description."
I also agree with bakingwithplath about the tag line because that one is hilarious. Your current one is not attention enough getting for people that are just browsing. You need to grab them, and reel them in.
I also agree about the something different that sets you apart. I had a really hard time with that and that is where friends come in handy. My friend put some line in there like "ask me about San Antonio" (it was better than that but I cannot remember). There was a great story behind the question if only people asked. And they did ask. It is all intrigue.
I think you are off to a good start and your humor definitely shines through which I think is a great selling point.
Cannot wait for the next edition!
best feature eyes? HA, I hear, from all the way over here on the East coast, that your best feature is your ass.
Lier.
Also, Eternal is my fav. movie.
I'm amazed that people have given their feedback so much thought. All I was going to say is (as everyone else has already said) don't lie about the height. I'm a 6'1 girl and would like to know honestly what height guys are!
Also, eyes usually make a girl swoon - great best feature.
Lastly, I'm with everyone else - find that one thing that really makes you, you. How are you different? In a good way!
In the incredibly awkward world of writing about yourself - you managed to come off not sounding weird.
That is no small feat my friend.
You are off to a good start. Ok don't lie about the height thing. I mean an inch does not make a difference, well it does in some areas.
You are not a douchebag for stating your best feature. We all have them, there is a reason we get complimented on them, cause they are awesome.
I don't like the drinking question either, the options suck but I think social drinker does say "ay I go out on the weekends and get tanked" You have to be honest with the drinking part, just like the height.
Yay, this is so fun. I am so glad I have something to do at work now. Thanks So and good luck lady hunting.
go with 5'4" dude...
My $0.02: Don't try too hard — the aim is to be funny and laid back, not overwrought. If you've written and rewritten a section, it's probably going to come off as forced.
And keep the Strangers With Candy reference. If a lady doesn't know Amy Sedaris, she's not worth your time.
No No No No. All wrong. You only need 3 lines.
No Shirt,
No Shoes,
At Your Service.
Oh Yeah.
I think the whole thing sounded lovely. And just like every other profile I've ever read.
Eyes? Everyone says eyes. But I suppose there isn't anything wrong with that.
I like your description. Everyone says "interesting and intelligent" though. I mean, who doesn't want someone interesting and intelligent? Let's be slightly more specific. Or at least get a thesaurus.
Also, Burbank? Holla!
Oh yes, I think you should be unashamedly honest. 5foot3 and if the bitch doesn't like it then she can keep on surfing!
And maybe tone down the whole "I'm a man's man and I go to bars with my giant posse of man friends every chance I get" thing.
You know I love you right?
nailed it. especially the tag line!
and i have also wondered about the drinking question - can't there be a "i functionally binge drink on the weekends" option?
your profile is awesome! i think it's a good blend and witty and serious // cultured and laid-back. i like it. and i like that it shows that you have a solid friend group.
i'm torn on the "best feature" question. i am personally sort of turned off when guys answer that question seriously, but that's probably unfair of me. i tend to like when guys ignore the question entirely or give a witty answer (that isn't too insecurely self-deprecating). oh, the fine line!
and as far as the height... in my experience, all men under 5'10" lie about their height on these profiles.
good luck, yo! we're all rooting for you.
oh, also, good call from shorty-- this profile def gives me the impression that you're looking for something short-term and fun, like a drinking partner. i don't know if that's true or not, but it seems like no?
Well since I am a member of one of these sights I will tell you if I would consider you after reading this.
I think you mention bars/drinking a little much. Might want to include other interests. Also the best way to piss me off is lie about your height it's not like when I meet you I am not going to know right away your a liar :-) Other than that I think it is very witty and entertaining
No offense, but I was left feeling really underwhelmed. Feels like there is so much more to you and you totally held back. The wittiness and candor we've all come to love was missing. How about if you just link to your blog? No, well, then...
When I was online dating I'd write what I wanted, sleep on it, then tweak it. I repeated this process for three days till something decent was churned out.
Have I mentioned how glad I am you're giving this a shot?
Online dating=the wave of the future. Along with robots and personal ninjas. I can't wait for my own personal ninja. Robots...meh.
You did swimmingly!
I really liked your response for favorite feature; you were modest to a certain degree, but did in fact give an answer. No worries about the height...I'm 5'4" and a giant to most of my friends.
The drinking part is tough; I would definitely put down socially. You're not sitting at home every night by yourself finishing a 12 pack. You go out and drink with friends...which is social.
Honesty is the best policy.
Tagline? wtf? Who has a tagline?
About me: this is just one opinion- while it's very entertaining, I would take out the 8 rum & cokes and replace it with something non-alcohol...later you already wrote you want a girl who is willing to go out on the weeknights.
For fun: again- just the opinion of one girl- Leave all the bar verbiage in there, but add more to the list! Sporting events, going to movies, visiting new restaurants, volunteering at a homeless shelter, Rock Band, comic book conventions...anything
Hot spots: It's good...if you add more to "for fun".
Fav things: I heart you! Eternal Sunshine and Royal Tennenbaums are in my top five movies and The Incredibles is my fav animated film. Good choices.
The Beatles? *swoon* I wish I had a sister you could date!
All-around good job.
I think what you need are some specifics, some things that make you stand out from the rest of the pack. A love of old cartoons, webcomics you read regularly, weird talents, that sort of thing. Unique stuff.
Like the line about wanting a girl who likes naps? That's awesome. I love that. It's really specific and a little different, and I think if you include more stuff like that, both in terms of who you are and the kind of girl you're looking for, it will really punch the whole thing up beyond "I'm a guy who likes to go out and have fun."
I also feel obligated to point out that your list of favorites is good stuff indeed, especially your movie list and last read. *thumbs up* Cerebral girls love that stuff.
Alright, no offense, because I love your blog, but did you notice that your profile describes you as a total bar fly? Any normal girl will read it and say, "No wonder he hasn't found a girlfriend."
oh, I agree on the lots of mention of bars and going out. while you come across as someone with wit, you also sound like your social life primarily revolves around boozing.
I agree with cagequeen, I think there is more to you. I think there is still that something extra you could add.
great first stab. these things are hard!
I'm gonna have to say you did pretty well with this. I hate attempting profile things, and usually keep it pretty simple. Although, I agree with somebody up there who said "Stick with the Simba line". haha. maybe not realistically, but omg that as hilarious.
oh, and seriously, Adventures of Pete & Pete. yessssss. Are you Afraid of the dark still scares me. gah.
Lastly, there might be a Liittle somethin for ya on my blog.
Awhh you're so cute. You'll have the girls going crazy in no time.
PS. How much do you weigh?
Your best feature (while you have nice eyes) is your humor, and your big heart. Just an fyi.
In addition, don't mention specific details about "Leo," ie "My roommate is traveling the world and has left me allll alone and now I need to meet new friends." (a) makes you sound clingy to one person (b) makes you sound like you were dating him. And, as cute a couple as you two make, we know Leo is getting ass over in Europe right about now.
The drinking thing, whatever, we all drink - everyone knows it and I personally would rather read an honest article smattered with drink references than some lame ass profile that keeps quoting Proust, Joyce or Dan Brown and trying to seem intelligent.
Sure, put comics in their, movies, beach volleyball, and travel. But you live in LA. In your midtwenties. You're actually an outsider if you DON'T share drinking stories (or at least allude to them).
You know how to reach me if you need guidance. ;) Good luck out there, tiger. Remember: you have awesome game, just need the confidence.
Hey man, I've read thru a few of these myself, I think the things that hit me first were the "profane" language. It sounds like you're looking to meet somoene who won't swear more than you, so you shouldn't have that in your bio, you may attract a woman who introduces herself as "Gina" as in "Va" (40 yr old virgin ref)
Either way, i think it's good, i'd also only put socially, it's not like you plan on meeting this girl, getting hammered with her on a nightly basis and that would be the relationship.
Seems like you ad is tailored to meet some people and not the love of your life, I think that you should concentrate what you want, and tailor it to that.
Otherwise, like I said, i agree with most others.
Good luck playa.
oh, and i think your tag like should be "Please Hammer don't hurt 'em"
with that, i'm out
was that actually you that just commented on my blog? It had some weird modified name.
If so you weight 3 pounds less than me. BUT I'm 2.5 inches taller!
This is all useless info!
Whoa whoa whoa, "it might by unlikely at your age to find a girl who DOES NOT have kids"?
25? Really? I do not want to live where you do, Shorty.
I agree with all the folks who said too much bar reference makes you sound like a boozehound and barfly. Then I realized that does seem to be your main interest, which led to the thought that most of the young women you seem to meet seem to also be boozehounds and barflies, and that's not working for you.
Maybe what you really need to do is not rework the profile, but rework your lifestyle.
There have got to be other things you find fun and interesting beyond booze and bars, and there you might find women who are more compatible (and more serious about a relationship).
Think about the kind of woman you want, then become the kind of man she'd want.
Leo,
I live in a very slutty small town. You would love it here!
: )
i think your tagline should be "it's hard out here for a pimp", haha i kid, i kid.
and i like the 'about me' section, being honest is clutch. girls love honesty :)
woo!
Maybe this will help with the taglines.
I like the California may have its faults.....then you should add, but I'm not one of them....How cheesy is that? I suck.
http://www.netlife.fi/~msiivola/besttags.html
For the first part, are you writing everything like "They ask you what Your Best Feature is..." or are you just writing "eyes"? I think explaining is fine, but don't sound too down on the interview. You're on the site for a reason, so I wouldn't diss it.
Personally, I say lay off talking about drinking so much and cut out some of the swearing. For me, that's unattractive. But that's just me!
Otherwise, sounds fine!
I enjoy this! And I've BEEN THERE!!! It's all good. :)
And yes, you can put 5'4. That's the only lie you can throw in there.
Internet dating can be weird so many people say it's worth it!
1) "TV: Freaks and Geeks, Adventures of Pete & Pete, Ghost Writer, Strangers w/ Candy" That's such a winning combination!
2) Say that you drink socially. That's totally the truth.
3) I think it's good! The profile shows that you are witty and charming, which chicks dig.
Good Luck!!!
Part 1: Leave the self-deprecating douchebaggery out of it and go with a confident "eyes." You shouldn't have to sound like you're guessing what your best feature is. If height is an issue for the ladies, then they'd have to get over it (no pseudo pun intended). Plus, if they read the rest of your profile, they'd be fine with it to have a chance with your awesome self. Oh and I definitely know chicks that like guys their height because they think "tall guys" (anyone 3" taller than them) makes it awkward to kiss and such. Either way, don't lie, that would probably lead to bad things.
Pt . 2: I concur with the others that you should put "socially" for the drinking especially because bars come up so often in the following sections.
Pt. 3: stick with Simba, he'll never lead you astray.
Pt. 4: Heh, I love the naps.
Pt. 5: Do you have fun apart from the weekend?
Pt. 6: Hm yeah, I think I've been to Burbank like once in my life and I grew up in LA (but closer to Orange County than LA proper). Maybe mention that you're willing to look into some with the people you meet on this site?
Pt. 7: Excellent film choices, nice spectrum. OMG I totally wanted to be on Ghostwriter when I was a kid. I also had a pen necklace...but enough about me. I think those are pretty excellent shows. Any shows that are still on that you like? Hehe...it seems a lot of guys i know like old school punk and it can't be older than the punk my bf listens to.
Overall, I think it's an excellent start to a great profile. i think you should just relax and be that funny, charming person you are on your blog because I would totally date that person (if I weren't already dating someone else, of course :) ) <-I hate when you end with a smiley face inside a parenthetical statement. It bothers me. Ok sorry sidetracked. I hope these helped and I'm excited to read more about this online dating experience : )
PS Sorry this is so long, I wanted to try to be thorough and helpful :)
Touche, shorty.
Although the single-mother thing would definitely be new ground for me.
Alright, let's go out! :)
(Wait, was that not the point in posting this?!?)
You'll do great! Let us know if you need any help (over)analyzing THEIR profiles...
Are you really sure you want to date again? It sounds like you're happier hanging in bars with your friends.
Hey 24! I'm getting into the online dating game, also. I played around with my profile a bit until I started getting a lot of responses from people that seemed like the type I wanted to attract. Best of luck! The online dating beast takes on a life of it's own!!!
-Fem
You have to change the 'About Me!' I used to do online dating and I hated when guys said something along the lines of 'I never thought I'd be doing this, but here I am!' or 'I can't believe I'm trying to date online.' One, it makes the girl feel like a loser for dating online and two, it's just generic and so many people have said it before.
So change that part!
I agree with everyone else! does that get me out of giving my opinon?
When I first started my profile I decided to go check out what the girls have written. Perhaps you would like to do that? If they can tell you've read them and they mail you just say you were looking at whats out there.
You do mention drinking alot. I remember reading about your drunk girls that would get plastered all the time and you didnt like it much so perhaps you dont want a girl that thinks its ok behaviour by you??
Do you actually want a girl or just a female Leo?
Dont mention Leo. It does make you sound gay and your not.
for the best feature question if you dont want to just say "eyes" perhaps put " thats for you to find out ;)" or something? Flirt a little.
Do you have any more music interests? any more favourite films? if so add a few more.
Also I was wondering.. Perhaps.. you could let US your lovely readers write your profile for you! oh that would be fun!! :) We could all write out each section and then you can pick and chose the best answers from us! Because we rock and we dont mind disscussing if your ass is better than your blue streak eyes :p
Everyone says you wrote too much about drinking -- didn't even cross my mind. What does that say about me?
Oh who cares. This is about you.
For part 1, I'm sure your eyes are kick-ass, but I love whoever said that humor was your best feature. LOVE it. If you didn't post a picture, I'd think you resembled Quasimodo, but seeing a good-looking guy who references his sense of humor above his great looks? Humble AND hot. You win.
For part 4, I like your first paragraph -- it definitely backs up the whole "I have a sense of humor" thing, but it doesn't feel like you're trying too hard. I'd cut it off after the naps mention, though. End it on a cute note without the dash of insecurity when you imply that you didn't write something good enough. (You did!)
For part 5, instead of saying "not the cliched" stuff, tell us what song you like! It gives us a better glimpse into your personality.
For part 6, okay, now I see why everyone says there's too much bar stuff. No need to talk about the bar again. And if you don't know the local hot spots, I'd want to know what type of place you DO like. Laid-back and unpretentious? Busy and clubby so you can dance your little heart out? A place that's free of popped collars? Describe, please.
Thanks for the open invitation to pass judgment by the way. ;-)
Less emphasis on drinking. It makes you sound like a post-college alcoholic who hasn't realized that college ended years ago.
Trixie, he's 25 (right?) drinking socially has it's limits but the cut-off isn't the end of college. I agree with most people talking about toning down the amount of alcohol references, though.
Also, at the end of the About Me section leave out the line about making the section sound better at a later time. It WILL be good. Don't detract from it.
I like your music and movie selections. It projects mature tastes.
Do you have a favorite music venue that you go to in your area? Or museum or something that you go to every so often? Branch away from the bars.
But it's looking good so far. This is fun. :-)
Is it bad that when Spirited Away came on, I thought about you a little?
My only initial edit suggestions were your tagline and your Leo reference. And I see that many readers agree.
But what I hadn't noticed, was that your general profile makes you sound like someone who's only extracurricular activity is drinking.
And I'm still not thinking that it's too over-the-top.
Does that make me a lush as well?
I like it, but as some people have said, it would be cool to put a little more YOU into it.
What else are you into? You seem creative (the blog headers, the job), so maybe you could mention that side of your personality.
Maybe tell a cute anecdote about something--"I once fell down a flight of stairs at the X building in downtown LA and haven't been back since, though the right woman might be able to convince me to give it another try," or something funnier than that. That's all I could think of off the top of my head, but you're cooler than I am, so I trust you.
Be specific. Definitely. You could say, "I like to watch Pete and Pete on Sunday mornings before I get out of bed, but on Thursday nights you can't tear me away from Heroes." Or whatever is true in that situation.
I would probably suck at online dating.
I actually think it's pretty decent. I liked it all. Remember not to give to much about yourself, but just enough to sound interesting!
I've missed you! I'm back online for good now. come by and see what i've been up to!
Instead of "eyes" for your best physical appearance, i think you need to put "bone structure" =)
And the girl section rocks! But mainly because I think those are all the qualities I possess, so of course I think every man should want those qualities in a woman.
Naps are the 2nd best thing to do in the world. I'm sure you can guess what's #1.
I think you should change your about me section a little. The first paragraph shows your humour, which is great! But I think you're sending mixed messages with the second and third paragraph because in the third paragraph it looks like you really are looking for a great girl to date but then in the second one for example when you said "so I thought this would be a good of an excuse as any to start meeting new people." A good excuse? Meeting new people? To me that just says your not serious about dating. It sounds like you're just looking for new friends to have fun with now that your friend is away and if that's the case then you should find girls on myspace who seem to want the same and befriend them on there not a dating site. If that's not the case, you could still leave the part about how Leo is traveling the world but I would maybe just change the rest to something like "and since I've been thinking about dating lately, I thought this would be a great time to start and see where that may lead." I would leave out the last paragraph too. Also, in your about me section I think you need to add more about you. Your interests and some strong qualities about you. Ask your friends what they like about you and add those. Because potential girls will be looking for guys that have the same interests as them and qualities that they want in a man. Also, I would add a little more in your Fun section, it seems as though all you do is go to bars and drink. That's fine to put in there but I would add some other stuff you like to do as well. A girl wants to date a guy that does more than just go to bars. It was good you added the soccer, add some more of that type of stuff.
Ps>I said this before in a comment but again you are very brave! To ask for critques and judgements from other people is brave! Go you.
First of all, I think online dating is really scary and intimidating, so props to you for giving that a shot. Hell, I can barely handle real-life-dating-relative-strangers.
And now, on to the good stuff...
First off all, you're a 25-year-old single male in LA... of COURSE you're gonna binge drink on the regular. Most girls in LA our age are doing the same thing. So that's fine.
The only problem with the frequent references to bars and pub crawls on your profile is this: Do you want to meet a girl IRL in a bar? Because here's the way I see it: Meeting a girl in a bar means that you know for sure you have exactly two things in common: 1. you're not total social lepers and 2. you drink. Maybe there's a third: dancing. But that's it. And there's probably so much more to you (plural) than that. So you should mention that stuff in your profile, as well. What do you like to do... sober?
Also, I think your best feature is you ability to reference early 9s Nickelodeon television shows in relation to anything in life... and maybe your eyes, if they weren't always covered by a blue bar. :)
Tagline? WTF. Awful question. You should take no blame for that one.
You can omit the first two paragraphs of part 4 and substitute them with more info about what makes you unique. An anecdote maybe?
By the way, Los Feliz restaurants!? Do you brunch? If so, let's be BFF.
Er, I meant early NINETIES Nick TV shows. Please ignore any and all typos. I need to not be on the internets at 3:30am.
Hi there :) I just wanted to let you know that I recommended your blog on my Blog Day 2008 list: http://freeandflawed.com/2008/08/31/blog-day-2008/
dude I've got respect for you after that profile description... especially by being honest about the height.
You are a regular drinker. Put regular drinker. It doesn't mean you take a shot before you go to work in the morning. You don't want to go out with some girl who thinks you'll only have one or two. Bad news bears. If you told me you were a social drinker, and we went out, and you, like, really drank, it would creep me out. If I was expecting it, however, not so creepy.
"A great sense of humor is undervalued these days. I'd like to meet a girl who is serious about her career, but won't shy away from spontaneously going out on a weeknight. Oh and naps. She must love naps."
Pure gold. Lose everything else in this section. Show them what you show us- a fun-loving guy who is looking for a partner in crime.
Take the "at the bars" out of "For Fun". Weekend warrior sends the right message without overkill.
:)
It jumps from physical appearance to drinking habits? What kind of dating service is this? Sign me up!
It sounds good to me! I've read faaaarrr worse dating profiles than that, although I won't be mentioning any names - you've laid off going down the cheesy route though, which is DEFINITELY a good thing.
And yes, the pictures will need a lot of thought. The ones you choose could totally ruin your carefully thought out words if they aren't quite "right". No pressure or anything . . . ;P
here you go dude: http://amywellsblog.blogspot.com/
I know I'm a little late but....you had me at Pete & Pete. That's all you needed to put on there.
Alright, here goes. I know, I know, I'm coming into this late, but life's gotten the best of me lately and I apologize. I've written a lot of these profile things so I'm glad you're asking. Guys totally suck donkey schlong at this profile writing gig.
Best Feature: Eyes is a safe one. I mean no one wants to read on a profile that you think your junk is your best feature and any girl with any sort of even tiny body issues is going to hate you for saying your stomach or your butt is.
Height: Unless you plan on wearing lifts, don't lie. I once briefly dated a guy who clamed to be 5'7". Well, he thought the heals were hot, but they got all cranky when he realized that at 5'6" I was taller than he was barefoot. DON'T LIE ABOUT THIS!
Drinking: Social Drinker is fine.
Tagline: That one blows. You can do better. Mine used to be "Blue eyes on a Saturday Night" its a line from a song that aptly describes the small town I come from and in turn some of the stuff I stand for.
Totally ditch the first two paragraphs in the about you section. They sound like you were too good for this and then decided that since all the other cool kids were trying it, you would too.
For Fun: Sounds fine. You can always edit later on if you'd like.
Hot Spots: Not bad, leave it for now, because you can do better, I just don't have suggestions on that one unless you put something like "I have a few favorites, but I'm always looking for new places to enjoy."
Favorites: That's fine. Sounds like a guy.
I was thinking something else entirely when you went to grab your 'King Cobra'....thought maybe you were just bragging.
I gotta get out more....
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