I have a detrimental pattern that I can trace back to my very first crush. I thought this was something I, alone, had a problem with. But a conversation with a friend over the weekend made me realize that this isn't the case; it's a problem for other guys too.
The masochistic pattern is falling for the overly flirty girl.
Well no shit, So. Everyone also likes ice cream. And a person who flirts with them.
Okay. Fine. But my point is that there are a small band of us who have this cycle of actually falling for the same type of girl... the type of girl who never actually intends to reciprocate.
We're idiots. We're that little Pomeranian you can punt across the lawn and it'll come yapping back ready for more! Or better yet, you can even compare us to Charlie Brown and Lucy pulling away the goddamn football every goddamn time.
In any case, there's kicking of some sorts involved.
It's extremely difficult to break this vicious cycle. You can't help what you find attractive; there's something electrifying when a girl singles you out (no matter how brief) and laughs at your jokes or hooks an arm around you or sends you an ambiguous text message. It's addicting, we crave it and we'll make up excuses to allow it to continue.
And every time one of these types flirts with us, we foolishly think that we're special. We're unique. Why do we do that?
Even though I know her history of leaving men in a trail of bloody, heart-juice... it doesn't mean shit. We think that "we're the one that was able to tame"
"Come on," we think. "She can't be acting this way to EVERYONE."
But let's be honest with ourselves. That's mostly the case.
I always wonder who these types eventually settle down with. What was their courtship ritual with the guy they end up in a relationship with? Is it the same method of sickeningly, blatant flirtation? Do they eventually reach that point where they end up being the antelope instead of the jaguar?
How can guys like myself rewire ourselves? We're conditioned to take signs of flirtation and translate it to "this girl has an interest in me romantically". Otherwise, how else are you EVER supposed to know if a girl likes you?
More importantly, how can you change your thought process to not be smitten with these girls who delight in making fruit smoothies out of our guts?