"Well. This should be interesting."
With a "strictly tequila" night, things are going to get a little nutty. Especially when it's celebrating one of my friends from college (sorority sisters w/ Beth actually), Jenny's birthday. Living in Manhattan Beach, we both find it hard to meet up, but when we do I always a great time.
Of course, what is a celebration without bringing my partners in crime Leo, Jack, and my old roommate Kevin with me (Leroy had a girlfriend night)? We crammed into The Honey Wagon IV, my sweet ride if you really want to know, and headed to the beach.
Jose Cuervo and I were best pals that evening. After tangoing with him for the early part of the evening, we moved to a bar to do some real dancing.
I don't dance. Unless I'm tanked. Just as I had a pint of Newcastle to my lips, Jenny grabbed me by the hand and tugged me into the crowd of dancers, sloshing my beer on the bar floor. Leo and I both agree that there's something amazing about a drunk girl, grabbing your hand and leading you to the dance floor (even though she's just a friend).
I can't remember the last time I danced, but I forgot how much it can be. Although I can guarantee Jenny and I tearing up the dance floor was not the least bit graceful. But fuck. Hands on a girl's hips, spinning her, dipping her... that's the good stuff I miss. Reminds me of the very few times Lynn and I danced. I'll admit I got a little nostalgic about frat dances and even high school proms w/ Lynn. I'll blame it on the booze.
get down.The tequila sloshing around wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but I could tell that Leo, Jack, and Kevin were getting tired of watching me flailing around like an idiot. It was time to go.
But before we got into the car, we decided it would be a good idea to run around on the beach like drunken idiots. For some reason, I take this time to call Lynn. We have a pleasant 10 minute drunken conversation... we are both drunk and we make each other laugh over something that probably wasn't all that funny.
When we get home, I overhear Leo lay down some serious game; we're talking epic. This guy doesn't fuck around, I swear to you I can't make this stuff up. I eavesdrop on a conversation Leo has with one of his bootycalls.
Leo:
Leo: Because I want to see you naked.
I'm telling you, homeboy is that good.
I wake up at 11:00am with a call from Jenny and a terrible hangover that can only be created through tequila.
"You bastard, Jose. You win again."
Jenny: Thanks for leaving me last night!
So@24: What did I do??
Jenny:: I chalked up another number. With my neighbor.
So@24: It was your birthday! Who cares? Enjoy the moment.
Jenny:: Guh. If I had you there this wouldn't have happened!
Hear that, parents? Your daughters are safe with me!
Oh. What's this? I have a text message from Beth. Balls. And the following text exchange occurs:
Beth: Um. I just got your message.
So@24: Oh? What did I text?
Beth: You didn't text. Voicemail.
So@24: Oh boy. What did I say?
Beth: You really don't remember?
So@24: I didn't even know my own name last night.
Beth: You rapped.
Go me.
59 comments:
I'm starting to think Leo's strategy has a lot to do with my BF's philosophy on dating
Girls just want to be directly, firmly and persistently told that they're wanted *without being a sleazeball about it
it only works if you've got game
"You rapped." Klassic, dear, for real. D$ used to leave hammered messages on my voicemail. The favorite was about how nice my mom is (she was visiting) to the tune of "Gasolina." Sounds like a bonus night and Leo's lines? Works for me too. Better to be straightforward.
you're amazing. ha. xo
YOU RAPPED??? HAHAHAHAHA
You so rule.
Go Leo. I've used the same line once or twice. Works every time. But I'm a chick, so just about anything works.
What can I say, I'm better when I'm drunk.
All class,
L
Leo kills me. Love it!
Okay, the rap: I must know the lyrics.
Not that this will shock anyone, but Leo's line would have totally worked on me. Even if I were sober.
And rapping into someone's voicemail? Absolute gold, my friend.
"you rapped." hahahahha SOOO funny!
Leo has some serious game if that's all he's got to say to get a girl over there.
I usually go with drunk song messages... And they are BAD. I <3 it when my friends save them and play them over and over. (notice the sarcasm)
LOL. Are you going to upload that audio file for us? :)
Good ole' tequilla never fails to help you make a fool out of yourself. And gives you one hellofa hangover.
Oh, Jose.... always a recipe for wonderful strangeness.
You should come rap with all of the Chicago bloggers + Deutlich, Maxie & Alexa in June!
OK, so the recent scorecard is: Beth, Lynn and Jenny = 3, SO@24 = 0. That is 3 friends/exes, with whom you will apparently not bone (or not fess up to it?) compared to 0 women who you can actually screw. Meanwhile, Leo just sets them up like bowling pins and knocks them over. He rules.
Good god man, when will you stop the emo thing and let Leo do his own sexgod blog?? If I knew you in real life I'd do something, but I can only sit here and watch, in horror....
I'm going to burst my buddies bubble here and say that while he plays the emo/woe-is-me card very well, he is by no means incapable of getting laid--he's a lithe good-lookin' lad who happens to have the most specific taste of any man I've ever met. And in the remote chance he meets a girl that happens to fill these tastes, she always, and I mean ALWAYS, has a boyfriend.
My theory is all this karma is going to pay off in dividends-- he'll get stuck in an elevator with Rachel McAdams and boom, it'll happen.
um yeah i'm going to need an audio clip of that rap.
i used to drink jose and tonic with a lime.
yeah, that was a blacked out summer.
i'm kinda getting reminiscent of jose from reading this post.
if i get too intoxicated this upcoming weekend and call someone and rap it is all your fault.
Wow...I'm completely mesmerized by Leo's skills. As I was reading what he was said, I unknowingly started taking my clothes off.
The guy across the hall was quite impressed.
you rapped. hahaha.
still, this is not the post that i am waiting for. i want to know about "seeing the area". tequila night was friday, right?
skip to the sunday shenanigans with lynn.
the suspense is killing me.
My friend rapped in the elevator of the MGM in Vegas. He's asian and was also drinking tequila.
He also somehow rhymed luggage with something.
Amazing I say!
Alright Leo, I believe you. One thing we have in common - we both want our 'little brother' to get some. I will leave this important mission in your capable hands, sir.....
Haha I think I laughed through this entire post.
1. Your car's name is the Honey Wagon, haha.
2. Leo's game, ridiculous, but I love it.
3. You rapped? That's even better.
drunken rapping rules.
You my friend, are a legend.
Ahahaha I love leaving drunk messages! I usually don't try to rap but sometimes end up rhyming complete nonsense. Sounds like you guys had a great night!
You don't look the least bit toasted in that photo...
I'm starting to like Leo more and more. He and I speak the same language... "Boodycallease" ;)
Your eyebrow is sky high in that picture. Hilarious.
I was gonna comment on your eyebrows, but B2G beat me to it.
I think someone told Leo the secret to a girl's pants: Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. It ALWAYS works.
You rapped. That was hilarious.
i just laughed so loud my dog farted.
i'm totally serious.
24 the Rapper, huh? Wow. And, hi Leo. bats long lashes
It's official. I think you and me were destined to be besties.
I have to echo this sentiment: "You rapped." HAHAHAHAHAtequilaissobad. Sounds like an epic night! I'm really surprised you remember that much of it.
Leo: Color me impressed.
Direct is the best way to go. So is running around on the beach like idiots. Unfortunately we here are 250 miles from the nearest beach so we have to be creative.
Damnit SO@24...WTF? Why isn't Jenny good enough for you? That girl is gorgeous and you obviously click with her well enough. And they you let her go fuck her neighbor? Dude, I've been rooting for you here, and you've been an encouragement for me to get back out there myself...but seriously bro, you pissed me off a little with this one.
So what's the deal? Are you just soooo into brunettes that a blonde won't ever do the trick for you?
um. can i have some of leo's game? i mean, damn.
and secondly, i'll be needing to be on your drunk phone call list. it just sounds far too entertaining.
Looks like another Tequila sunrise...
wow you even somehow had the presence of mind to pick up her dress with the rest of her as to not flash the bar. kudos!
hahah this whole post can really be summed up by "you rapped"
cute picture tho; way to tear it up on that dancefloor
also, heyyy leo.
woah and your friend jenny is a brave, brave girl for going on for 'tequila only night' with a strapless dress on.
Sounds like a fun night, quite impressed by Leo's skills and sooo want to hear that rap
I was gonna say something significant and intelligent, but then I read Leo's comment and now I'm all daydreamy. Rachel McAdams. Rachel McAdams...
...Rachel McAdams and me trapped in an elevator together...
YUM.
I miss those drunken nights! Can we hear the message?
Stop texting voicemailing Beth -- it just isn't a good plan -- you are better than this....
Wow...just wow! How can a girl get game like that!
"SO@24, come to Houston and take off your clothes NOW!....B/C I said so!!! oh and you must rap for me too!!!!"
hehe!!
"Hear that, parents? Your daughters are safe with me!" hahaha, I'm sure that is every man's nightmare.
Hahahaha...that sounds like any number of weekends around here when college friends are in town.
And I think I know your friend Leo...He sounds much like some of my boys. (Must admit. I've used similar phrasing and it works from the girls end too.)
So what did you rap?
uh-oh. you rapped? this can't be good...
We should get the youtube version of the rap.
Stop, collaborate and listen...
Tequila is poison, dude. But big kudos to you for coming out of it alive.
My old "friend with benefits" used to tell me that he wanted to feel my boobies. I was over to his place in a hurry. I liked that it was animalistic and all he wanted to do was F@%&!
I want to hear the rap.
And if I were in southern California and had a car, Leo's line would most certainly work on me, at any time of day or night. Start practicing those lines, SO. And say them with confidence.
haha awh! You rapped....so cute.
hey! first time commenter...i've seen you around the blogs i read but haven't had a chance to check out yours till now.
you. are. hilare! the most entertaining post i've read all night!! glad it was a good time.
leo's game is all about committing to the goal. i've done that a time or two...as the bootycaller of course. if you don't state what you want, you'll never get it. you should give it a try.
you rapped? when are we all going to hang out?! i see designating your party planner friend with making shenanigans happen wasn't the wisest thing to do. i will have to fix that.
Jenny's hot!
WHY didn't you have sex with her?!?
(P.S. She has an awesome name, too.)
Since your rap and Leo's comment has been sufficiently covered, I feel that I'm free to ask about Beth being the lucky recipient of said rap? So whats the current situation with you two?
LOL, you rapped! that's awesome!
and Leo has definitely got skillz!
Some of the best hip hops comes from being drunk out of your mind, i'm sure it worked for Tupac
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