I learned a new rule based off two conversations I had over the weekend.
Every girl claims she is the best wingman.
Now, I certainly don't have any personal case studies to confirm or refute this statement (yet anyway). But almost every girl has some amazing glory story proving their wingman abilities. And I must say, I was very impressed. I wonder how many guys actually tap into this resource.
I love getting point of views from the opposite sex and I'd like to share with you two strategies I learned over the weekend.
Girl Strategy 1: Buying Her a Drink
The first conversation I had was with my friend C. And although she's just giving me a scenerio, her insight looks like it can translate well to a real life situation. I was explaining to her that simply asking a girl, "Can I buy you a drink?" seems absolutely transparent and cheesedick. I argued that girls don't like it when guys buy them drinks. She offered this:
C: I'm going to give you a convo.
C: Ordinary, unassuming girl sits at a bar with two decent friends. Girls are having a friendly convo, not too intense, leaving room to be approached. Eyes are watching the room around them, no one is crying. It isn't a "newly single celebration" scenario. You want to avoid those.
Enter So@24.
So@24 is at the bar to get drinks. He sees Ordinary, Unassuming girl and friends. OAG looks at him as he approaches bar, tries to get bartenders attention. So@24 sees OAG look. Smiles. Laughs and says to the girl, "You can never get their attention when you really need to"
OAG smiles, "True"
So@24 smiles, goes back to waiting for bartender. Looks over at OAG. OAG is still smiling, now slyly pointing out his presence to friends. So@24 looks at OAGs drink, interested
"What are you drinking?"
OAG: Vodka soda.
So@24: Ahhh... solid drink. Do you have a favorite shot? I need to buy a birthday shot for my coworker and I can never tell what girls like to do shots of.
OAG: I'm a whiskey girl myself, but Washington Apples are good or Fernet.
So@24: Great choice! Want to do one with me? I'm So@24 by the way...
C: See? And you're IN! Easy. Not creepy.
It's easy, approachable. Not invasive, not overwhelming. You can bail if she's not responsive or engage if she is.
So@24: Actually... that doesn't sound too bad, C.
C: I know I'm right.
Girl Strategy 2: Settle an Argument w/ Disney Characters
Another one of my friends was boasting about her amazing wingman technique that has never failed for her.
She told me that her guy friend will point out a girl that he's interested in at the bar. She then makes her way over and starts with:
So my friend and I are having an argument and we're trying to get another opinion. I say that [insert Disney princess' name] is the hottest Disney character, but he's saying that [insert another Disney princess' name] is. What do you think?
She says this has worked to at least establish opening up an easy line of communication between her friend and the girl he's interested in talking to. It seems pretty fucking brilliant to me.
By the way... the hottest one is Belle. Damn, girl's got it going on.
64 comments:
No, no, no. Ariel is the hottest disney princess.
And that whole "settle a bet" or "answer a question" thing was totally on the VH1 show The Pickup Artist.
But the truth is that if a girl won't take a free drink from a guy, there's no way in hell she's going to actually be interested in him... at least that's how my friends and I are.
Just don't stick around and be creepy for too long afterwards unless things are really going well... that's just weird.
oh! and I forgot to tell you, you won my joke contest thing so email me your address :-) I promise not to send poison.
Any guy who knows the names of multiple Disney characters (other than, say, Mickey and Goofy) is at least mildly creepy. Tread carefully with option B.
Classic! Wing WOMAN are the BOMB! But then again I'm single so they're not working for me but they definitely work for men....my post(Out with the old) totally backs this!!
I like these. If I were a 20something, hangin' out at a bar I'd want to be approached with Option B. It less work for you, too.
But as long as he doesn't end the question with "Well, if you were a Disney Princes you'd DEFINITELY be the hottest one."
I think a lot of broads claim to be the best wingmen. Sometimes they are downright irritating though.
BTW I'm with Maxie. Ariel is the hottest Disney Princess!
Strategy one is the way to go, the second one is too transparent and annoying.
I think I am a good wing (wo)man, I mean look at how many of my friends/coworkers I have let hook up with Elle!
#2 sounds like something that Mystery from the Pick-Up Artist would teach his guys to do.
Translation: meh.
Dr. Lucy here again: Option 1 will work more often simply because its more topical to the actual sitch (drinking in a bar) and seems less contrived/canned than #2.
But what do I know, I'm an old married guy. I'm much more interested in the ladies comments here, like you...
or, in your best T-Pain imitation you could croon, "Imma buy you a drank." I know i would swoon!
Oh, and you can't beat Cinderella: beautiful, humble, comes with her own fairy godmother (instead of a father or mother-in-law!) AND knows how to cook and clean too. Belle is a close second tho...
I love it.
Disney approach "Fab" due to every girl personalizing one while growing up! ;) I would totally eat that up......pathetic but true!
Funny, if a guy asked me about Disney characters, I'd be all sorts of out. But I guess it takes all kinds.
And I'm the worst wing-woman ever. I think I've said this before, but whenever I've tried to wing-man for a dude, things usually end up going in another direction... if you know what I mean. I just don't bother anymore.
Oh, that might work! Tell a girl you like you'd like her to be your wingman, you two'll be messing up the sheets before you know it.
haha. i think 50% of the men i meet are through strategy number one. and i'm with chardsy. far better than the second one.
but while we're taking votes, i'm saying jasmine.
dude, i'm with chardsy.
#1= good.
#2= bad.
seriously? disney characters? thats borderline creeper. aaaand thats coming from barbie, so there you have it. go with # one. and for the record, i am an excellent wingwoman.
I did a whole post on this. Wing women are just a bad idea all around. Sorry ladies, you just are. Its ok girls are good for other things like playing nintendo and stuff..
http://yourbeardisgood.blogspot.com/2008/02/take-these-broken-wings.html
Haha... Matthew likes Belle the best too. But I've gotta agree with some of those before: I don't really think I'd respond well to some guy asking about Disney characters in a bar. Just sayin'.
Wing (wo)man #1 totally knows her stuff! do that. It's casual and confident and all things we look for.
Wing (wo)men #2 might as well go up to a girl, point at you, and say "my friend over there thinks your cute"
..see the lameness?
rs you would love my naughty belle costume! she was always my favorite ;)
I think #1 is your best option here. It's a pretty brilliant move too, not to creepy and a great way to start a conversation. C is a wise one.
I def agree with both of them. I know for one thing, I am not a girl to turn down a free drink!!!
Technique number one is the way to go but it takes a smattering of confidence to pull off. Technique number two is a little odd. But then again, what do I know? I'm the guy that passed up a chance to make out with his future wife because he left his weed in the house and was afraid someone was going to steal it.
And Chardsy. Pimping out Elle to your friends and co-workers does not make you a wingman. It makes you the greatest friend to have around ever, but not a wingman.
Chick's got it right.
Women do make the best wingmen.
And... I do have the case study for this. Me! Army Girl.
WingWomen are a double-edged sword! My best friend is a chick and she has a different taste in women, so you'd think it'd work out....but not always. We get along so well, we inadvertently give off the wrong vibe....so we need to have some space and have a 3rd person for balance.
btw....belle is spot on!
Thank you, Katelin. I appreciate the compliment.
The Maiden Metllurgist: I have that issue of having the game go another way, too, sometimes. I think those moments are funny - and flattering. But it can't stop me from trying to hook my roommate up with a girl. :)
Not all girls are great wingmen all the time. Some get one good night, others are constant matchmakers. I'm great in those in-the-moment situations. Confidence is everything in situations - and the best wingman can instill confidence in their friend.
No way! Belle's cute, but Ariel is the hottest. I do have a thing for red-heads though.
belle and smart, and pretty. all around, I'd have to agree. she's not superficial either. clearly.
girls are good wingmen, by the way.
Option 1 - Great
Option 2 - I think it actually works better if you're near the girl you're interested in. That way you can actually bring up the fake arguement and have your wingwoman easily just look around for backup. Walking across the rm could be awkward.
Really, 24, Belle? What about Ariel? I mean, come on, cute redhead. Sure she has a tail, but that's just details!
You are so on the money with Belle, spot on.
None of my single friends would turn down a free drink from you, perhaps you need to move to Nashvegas!
wait, does it say up there that a girl would suggest taking a shot of fernet? does she know what fernet is? my dad keeps it and gives out shots when people have indigestion; it's really not for drinking. i think it has quinine in it; it's some serious oregon trail shit!
id say leave the girl at home and bring out the guys. being seen with a girl in public = you are dating her, and a single girl isn't going to be as open with you as she would if you were with your boys.
girls that claim to be good wingmen are lying. and never mind that a wingman is supposed to 'take care of' the girls that you're not interested in. since the real world isn't porn, odds are your friend and her friends aren't all lesbians.
I always claim to be a good wingman, but honestly, I don't know how valid that statement is. If someone's trying to pick me up, #1 would work, but #2 would seem a little weird. If you're old enough to drink, you're probably too old to be talking about Disney princesses with strangers, no? That being said, I vote for Jasmine, but Belle is a close second.
SO@24...I just recently found your blog, and I'm a fan. I'm in the same boat, except that I'm starting over at 28 after getting divorced. Totally sucks. Hopefully I'll be staring a blog about my adventures soon...still figuring out all that stuff.
Anyway...I personally think that a variation of #2 is the best way to go. For those of us who don't have the "nuts" right now to do "off the cuff" casual conversation, we need to have some canned material. There is alot of useful stuff in the "Mystery Method" that people are talking about. But I say a variation because I wouldn't use the disney character thing...it does sound silly. Instead, I have been trying to write out several different pertinent openers that I could use. They need to be fexible, and they need to be pertinent to the girl at hand.
One example I have been working on is one you can use if you spot a girl wearing a unique accessory or article of clothing. Notice her big ring and say something like "Are you wearing that thing to scare off guys, because if so I was just leaving." Hopefully she would laugh and then you can introduce yourself. But you have to think fast and think on your feet.
I messed up on Saturday because my attention was immediately drawn to a beatiful girl in a stunning royal blue dress. I got tongue-tied and missed my chance, but I should have immediately (without hesitation--very important) walked up to her and said something clever about her dress. Maybe something like..."How did you know blue is my favorite color?" She would say HUH?? (or maybe WTF), and then I would have said "Oh, I thought you were trying to impress me by wearing my favorite color." The key would be to do this in a very joking way. That's the part I have trouble with. I'm not a naturally light-hearted person.
Moral of the story is to have a framework. Lose the cheesy Disney characters, but DEFINITELY go in with some canned frameworks of things you can say. Also have some funny stories that you can tell about yourself ready to go so that you can be entertaining. Your blog does this well, so I don't think that should be a problem for you.
I'm ready to see you start working it bro. Blog is over a year old now!
In my opinion... I'm the best wingman to my guy friends... because if all else fails I go home with them and then pretend like it never happened the next day ;)
~irish
I&J...Been there! Sometimes it is just easier to stick with friends and not talk about it.
Oh, the Disney Princess thing is incredibly genius.
I almost have to agree with you about Belle, but then I remember Ariel. And you can't beat that flowing, red hair. You just can't.
Fernet is unfortunately an industry shot in California, specifically in San Francisco. I hate it, personally, I am a Jaager girl, but in keeping with the California theme, I offered fernet. There was an editor's note that SO@24 cut out. Lame. SEE! You made me look dumb!
It is actually daunting to get to the end of your comments if I'm not on the ball in the beginning of the day. Hot Damn!
I'm now a fan of C's work. That's a great scenario and could easily be implemented. I am also a Belle person but if someone approached me with that in a bar, I would assume he's the kind of guy that wants to get married in Disney World. Thanks, No.
Max - Yes. Ariel is hot. She's a close, close second. I spent many nights fighting this internal debate.
Max 2 - That's because my joke was the best! It's so damn good!
Blake - Touche' Redgrave, touche'.
Allie Gator - CHEEKS!
Beth W. - Oooh, you can bet your bottom dollar that has been used before. Somewhere. -shudder-
Alleged - Warms my heart that you used "broads"
Chard - Ha! It's not like YOU put in any effort for those encounters.
Ruby - Oh God. Oh GOD! You mean those books about how to pick up women??
I suddenly feel the need to take a shower.
BD - I welcome all opinions!
Tiff - HAHAHAHA! I know you would. But that's why we're friends.
Taylor - I knew someone how there would have to admit it sooner or later.
Maiden - I love when you mention your lesbian crushers. It's so hilarious. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that encounter.
Log - I'm surprised a lot more people didn't say Jasmine. Racists.
BB - I have a feeling that you might actually be a pretty damn good one.
Beard - Dammit! I never even knew this post existed! And it dates back to Feb!? I'm so ashamed of my bloggness.
PG - Thata kid Matt.
<3<3 J - Naughty Belle outfit?? They make those?? Damn Disney.
Katelin - She certainly is.
Kat - I agree. I never got why some girls refuse to get free drinks from guys. It's FREE!
Harry - Thanks for addressing that. Confidence is absolutely key and I do push back a little bit with C in our conversation about that. I'm not the type to have that much moxie. Except if I have a few shots of Beam in my belly.
Tin - I suppose I'll need to read up on that.
Ramblings - I never considered if your friend had a different taste in women. I can imagine that being quite the conundrum.
Dolce - I do too. A hot red head is tough competition. But, no legs... how would it ever work out?
ThisDay - Exactly. A cute little bookworm. Who can resist?
Cassette - You have a great point.
Charming Hed - I was wondering when you were going to chime in about Ariel! ;) But come on, you know me. I love me a saucy redhead.
Tipp - Always looking for a new place to visit!
Jersey - HAHAHAHAAHAH! Your comment actually made me laugh out loud. You bring up a few unique points that weren't actually addressed. I'd comment more, but I think they speak for themselves.
Sabina - I didn't think you were reading anymore! This was a pleasant surprise. Based on your blog, I have faith you'd be a pretty damn good wingwoman. You know the ins, you know the outs. And you're right, I'd never try #2 on you. That would be instant suicide!
Tim - Welcome! You have great suggestions, but again... a certain amount of confidence needs to be implemented that I'm not sure I have.
And again, you gotta be careful about not sounding like such a cheesedick.
Irish - HAHAHAHA! I'm going to text your comment to Chardsy now. We seriously love you.
Courtney - You know who else didn't get any love? Ursela when she's a human. Dude, she's pretty damn hot too.
C - HAHAHAHAAH! I'm sorry, I'm SORRY! She's right, I left that part out. I didn't think it helped move the story along. You know I didn't mean to make you look "stupid", C!
Cook - I love how much of a trooper you are.
It's pretty tough trying to think of a witty comment sometimes. Hence me being pretty pathetic about writing back all the time.
I told you C was money!:
http://startingoverat24.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-swear-all-hot-girls-have-boyfriends.html
Option 1 is the way to go ..
Option 2 is lamo .. I'd think you were a freak if you thought a "disney character" was hot.
:o)
Belle?! PLEASE.
Have you SEEN Jasmine?! She is rockin'. FYI, I think both are good plans. I'm almost always courteous to a guy that buys me a drink. You'll be able to tell when they are bored with you, or ready for round two.
:] Go get 'em!
The hottest one is Belle!!!! I liked strategy 2.
i think you definitely have some good options here!
bloody hell man! what is this "starting over" at 24 years of age..???
man! at 24 you're bearly BORN, let alone should be thinking of "starting over" ...
i'm telling you what you want, if you make the slightest striving with charisma: it SHALL SIMPLY FALL INTO YOUR LAP ~ simple rule of life!
I'm still here, I just don't always see new posts until they have way too many comments which already said what I was planning to say. You're too popular for me!
No, I'm not the best wingman, a) because I'm too shy to approach strangers, male or female, and b) I often just hook up with my male friends myself, so they don't meet anyone new. Sigh.
I don't know, I don't think I'd ever go for the latter one at a bar unless the guy was charming. It would take a lot to pull that one off.
The first one is a lot more likely of a scenario.
I'm a terrible wingman, by the way. I usually go to the bar with my friend Ian and spend the night ruining his chances for fun.
What happened to the wing girl walking up to the innocent one and saying, "See that giant loser over there who's dancing like a moron? He thinks you're hot, but he's too shy to approach you. He's not that bad though, you know? He's a pretty good guy when he's not dancing like an idiot."
Number 1 is the way to go. I think C is a great wingman!
Number 2 is too creepy.
And it's either Ariel or Cinderella.
I'd ditch the Disney idea. Mst growm women don't want to date a guy who is preocupied with cartoons. I dated a guy who claimed to be turned on by anime. Um, gross. Naturally that one didn't last long. I think C has the right idea, though.
I think they would both work. Even though #2 seems like it was planned, most girls are excited when a cute guy comes up and starts talking to them at the bar.
Sleeping Beauty is the prettiest, BTW.
No - its Ariel - redhead. Definitely the hottest!
Good advice - and for the record, I AM the best wing woman!
ordinarily i stick around long enough to read all the comments before i say something but i have to say right now that i really want to see if this strategy works.
the suspense is killing me!
first.. what the hell are you on?? its ALL about Esmerelda from hunchback of notre dame!
second:
im the best wingman ever because i teach my guy friends what to do in bed to make their girls orgasm.
also -- every straight girl is thoroughly impressed when a straight guy has a lesbian best friend because that means that they can actually hold a conversation with a female.
im a certified secret weapon =]
I also vote for #1. Totally sounds legitimate and not like you're some creepy stalker guy in the corner.
Another sure fire way to get a girl is to say hello :-)
Hey wasn't the second strategy used in Pick Up Artists (minus the Disney characters)?
Jasmine> Belle. Gotta rock that Jafar's slave outfit, or whatever small shreds of fabric constitute one.
I think pickup lines seem fake. They sound rehearsed, and you know they have been used on plenty of women before you. I think the first is the best, because it seems confident (and not as much like a pick-up line)
I would do Belle too. Shes super hot! (I bet most girls say that the one they look most like is the hottest, btw... and yes, I just happen to look more like Belle than the others- but thats not why I chose her, I swear!)
both of these scenarios are pure genius :)
If a man started talking Disney with me, I would run in the opposite direction. I'm a weirdo though, so don't listen to me.
That said, I am a horrible wingwoman. I would get hammered, slur some intelligible advice, spill on the girl you are interested in and then make out with your friends. I need therapy.
I always tell my guy friends that I am the best wingman! It looks way better to be hanging out with a friend who is a girl than guys who don't make you look any better.
and I'm partial to Jasmine.
My guy best friend has a crush on Belle. Can't blame him.
First, a guy having a girl friend already gives the guy some points. I know guys who are jerks because they do not have girl friends therefore they do not know how to treat a girl right.
I am probably not a good wing woman. I'd approach any girl for my guy friends but I might not be all slick about it. Hooking people up usually gets you blamed in the end when it turns sour.
interesting that you chose Belle. she's my favorite also.
what happens if the bartender comes right over? then you're fucked. I'm just saying.
wing(wo)men are pretty cool for guys. they'll direct you to cool girls than wingmen. also, they have a better gauge of what you should and shouldn't say.
happy hunting
Lots of people have obviously weighed in but as lover of all things Disney I have give my 2 cents. #2 is totally ODD & FREAKY. Don't do it!!!!
I vote for strategy #1!
Ariel all the way...but then again I love redheads!
I actually like both strategies. I've never had either of them tried on me, but I am sure that I would be more responsive (if interested) than if a guy's just walked up and asked if he could buy me a drink. I need to know just a little bit more about how he acts/his humour before I will accept a drink.
I agree with Sabina that there's too much pressure when you come late to the SO@24 game. Some thoughts:
- Ariel looks like she's 14, which makes her the hottest Disney jailbait.
- If a girl is digging you, she'll respond to almost anything you say to get the conversation going.
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