I'm that crotchety old man who just finished writing his memoirs. I put my feather pen back in the inkwell. Took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes.
The single guy thing has worn me out to a point where I'm ready to throw my stubby arms up as a signal for surrender.
After work on Friday, Leo and I headed over to our friend's place for a party. Leo had indeed invited the girls over, but I wasn't going to make an effort to start conversation.
While I was chatting it up with my other roommate Kevin and Veronica, I see that girl (I'm not going to take the time to give her an alias, because I don't plan on bringing her up again) come bouncing over to the couches.
So@24's inner monologue: Please don't sit on my lap, please don't sit on my lap, please don't sit on my...
I shoot Veronica and Kevin a look and put on my best front. I feel bad that she barely knows anyone there, so I get up from the couch and follow her into the kitchen for a beer. I flip off Veronica and Kevin while I stroll past.
I tried to not show my absolutely boredom and did my best to feign interest, but I just couldn't.
I mean, she's nice enough. But what is "nice" anyway? Anyone can be nice. My grandpa's fucking nice. There's gotta be something more than just having a personality that makes me not want to punch you.
But I'm a good friend and even though Leo didn't need my help to secure her friend, I did offer the "well, I'm beat. I'm heading back, but if you guys want to grab a fifth and join, you should."
Hey. I figure the wingman karma will come around eventually.
Fortunately, they didn't take the bait and wanted to continue to stay out at the bars. I drove home and passed out relatively early for a Friday night.
And as luck would have it, Leo got a makeout sesh from her friend and our friend Chad (see Shitty Couple #1) took the girl to the boneyard. Everyone wins! Hopefully Chad will provide the ample distraction so that I no longer have to endure painful conversations about how she "just wants to meet people with creative minds".
But the whole event opened up a discussing the next afternoon between Kevin and Michelle.
On one side, Kevin suggested that I should have just slept with "that girl". No emotional attachment. She's not UNattractive. He (much like ol' Gancey) has the view that you need to get the first one out of the way after a drought.
Michelle took a different stance saying that, because it's been so long that I need to be physically attracted to the next person. It relieves the stress of trying to force something that isn't there to begin with.
I sat in the middle switching from looking to my left and right, eating Teddy Grahams, and fiddling with a yo-yo.