I'm tired.
I'm that crotchety old man who just finished writing his memoirs. I put my feather pen back in the inkwell. Took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes.
The single guy thing has worn me out to a point where I'm ready to throw my stubby arms up as a signal for surrender.
After work on Friday, Leo and I headed over to our friend's place for a party. Leo had indeed invited the girls over, but I wasn't going to make an effort to start conversation.
While I was chatting it up with my other roommate Kevin and Veronica, I see that girl (I'm not going to take the time to give her an alias, because I don't plan on bringing her up again) come bouncing over to the couches.
So@24's inner monologue: Please don't sit on my lap, please don't sit on my lap, please don't sit on my...
"Hey you!"
I shoot Veronica and Kevin a look and put on my best front. I feel bad that she barely knows anyone there, so I get up from the couch and follow her into the kitchen for a beer. I flip off Veronica and Kevin while I stroll past.
I tried to not show my absolutely boredom and did my best to feign interest, but I just couldn't.
I mean, she's nice enough. But what is "nice" anyway? Anyone can be nice. My grandpa's fucking nice. There's gotta be something more than just having a personality that makes me not want to punch you.
But I'm a good friend and even though Leo didn't need my help to secure her friend, I did offer the "well, I'm beat. I'm heading back, but if you guys want to grab a fifth and join, you should."
Hey. I figure the wingman karma will come around eventually.
Fortunately, they didn't take the bait and wanted to continue to stay out at the bars. I drove home and passed out relatively early for a Friday night.
And as luck would have it, Leo got a makeout sesh from her friend and our friend Chad (see Shitty Couple #1) took the girl to the boneyard. Everyone wins! Hopefully Chad will provide the ample distraction so that I no longer have to endure painful conversations about how she "just wants to meet people with creative minds".
But the whole event opened up a discussing the next afternoon between Kevin and Michelle.
On one side, Kevin suggested that I should have just slept with "that girl". No emotional attachment. She's not UNattractive. He (much like ol' Gancey) has the view that you need to get the first one out of the way after a drought.
Michelle took a different stance saying that, because it's been so long that I need to be physically attracted to the next person. It relieves the stress of trying to force something that isn't there to begin with.
I sat in the middle switching from looking to my left and right, eating Teddy Grahams, and fiddling with a yo-yo.
Your Boy!
- So@24
- Los Angeles, CA, United States
- After 6 years of dating only one girl, I found myself single at 24 (now 26) and tackling the dating scene for my first time. These are my adventures, my mishaps, and stories of triumph... Lordy it's rough.
Electronic Mail Me?
Older Ish
Cast of Characters
Shit I Tend to Talk About
- Leo (68)
- Lynn (66)
- Jack (41)
- Beth (36)
- sex (35)
- I'm a drunk bastard (30)
- emo shit (21)
- growing up (21)
- theories (19)
- Crazy Janice (18)
- Caitlin (14)
- so this is online dating (12)
- Bree (10)
- UCLA hunnies (10)
- I Love My Friends (8)
- Jenny (7)
- RealBeth (7)
- Dr. So (6)
- my ex-girlfriend's mom (6)
- Leroy (5)
- Sherry (5)
- Taken from the Archives (5)
- Amber (4)
- The Nurse (4)
- So and Leo's Euro Trip (3)
- Violet (3)
- dreams (3)
Cool Kids Table
32 comments:
Whoa, I really think we need to dial back the pressure to screw someone from like an 11 to maybe a 1. I mean, it's not like you're at home moping and jacking off to cartoons. You're out having fun with friends, you just switched jobs, you're working on things with Lynn and Beth. You have a lot going on! I don't think you should bother sleeping with chicks you don't dig. There's no point.
I agree. I've tried to sleep with someone I just wasn't attracted to in the past (and trust me, I can easily separate sex and emotion), but it just wasn't working, especially not as a rebound. There needs to be some level of attraction. It's not worth looking or waiting for it. It'll just happen.
I'm not really in the camp that says you should sleep with someone because they are not unattractive and they are nice. Nice means nothing. It's the worst descriptor ever. When you do sleep with someone it will be great because it won't just be because you're giving in to some pressure.
i'm with the ex. i think the pressure to put the mouse in the hole is a bit much. or the tiger in the den. or the jet in the hanger....
hold on, i'm losing the point. what was the point again?
oh yah, maybe we should take the focus off the sex. there is more to life after all.
(why am i hearing leo in the background going...."really?")
really?
I HATE the word nice. If someone calls me that, I want to punch him/her in the face! UGH! So empty is the word.
As for sex, do it when YOU want to do it.
That's it. That's all there is to it.
;)
it's that old line isn't it - when you stop looking...
give yourself a break. maybe you need to feel better about you before you can let yourself just 'go'?
You'd regret it if you had sex with someone without actually wanting it. It's like gorging on ice cream without the craving, when you're already stuffed with food.
Besides, she could be one of those clingy types that ends up thinking that just-sex is the foundation.
Leo = comic genius.
I'm a firm believer that if you're having a hard time "getting it up" just to "get it up" for someone, chances are it may not be not be the greatest idea. One of these days, you'll me someone that you won't be able to not jump on, until then, eh.
And seriously: "There's gotta be something more than just having a personality that makes me not want to punch you." That is brilliant, and is how I feel about 95.3% of the people on earth.
You're single, not desperate!
=your new mantra. Remind yourself. Remind Leo if necessary. Sleep with a girl you actually, you know, want to sleep with.
Happened upon your blog a while back. Love it. Love it all. Except the part that makes me feel like an old, crochety woman in her (gasp) 30's. Oh yeah, but the rest is great.
If an older woman can offer you some advice: Dude, nice is so freaking boring. Stay away. Wait for the real stuff, please.
I've done this both ways... I tried the whole sleep with a random person to get over it and the wait it out until I really like someone.
I'm not sure which was better.
The random person... I was kind of glad I did it just for the pure fact that my ex wasn't the last person I slept with. I actually felt better afterwards. After we got back together (ugh) and then broke up again, I held off and found someone I really liked. Like it was okay, but I'm not super glad I waited or anything.
I would just say do it when it feels right. It doesn't matter why it feels right.
Your profile is up at my blog! :)
"...to the boneyard?" Really? Really.
Have to agree with "the ex"... dang, since when is getting you laid everyone's biz? If you are attracted, yeah... if not... hell, do yourself, it's probably better and less complicated!
i'd say go for someone who's 'not unattractive' rather than someone who's 'a total hottie' because it'll take a lot of the pressure off.
plus once you do get your lay on, i think you'll be fully back on the prowl.
um, that part about her being "nice" had my laughing for a good while.
if a girl makes you want to punch her in the face, what reason is there to sleep with her? that's all i have to say.
You made all the right choices. Because its your life. Your friends can offer orders disguised as advice or guidance all they want. In the end, do what you want.
Oh, to have your problems.
Dude...I've been there. Thinking you need to get over your slump. Although....a nice girl probably would be better than sleeping with a friend and having it get really awkward.
Like, for instance, when I slept with Insecure Boy....and the one-nighters don't really get the job done. It's much better to bone a lot with one person, than have a one-night fix.
Man, the days when I used to get laid almost every day. Miss those days. I MISS those days.
Haha....the line "just wants to meet people with creative minds" cracked me up. I'm using that.
I think you have to have good sex after a drought or you'll be even more depressed than before. Hold out. Wait for someone that makes your palms sweaty.
You have to at least be attracted to someone to want to sleep with them. If you don't feel it at all, don't even try, it's not worth it and it'll put you off from sex for awhile.
So we always hear what your friends think, but what about what you think?
I do love hearing men's acute fear of 'The Bach', you know, when you want a girlfriend so bad all women can smell the desperation and run a mile. Don't let your buddies transfer their fear onto you.
You're clearly not that guy or in that place so why settle? Rule of thumb: if you can't stand being in the same room as someone then sex isn't going to make them any less annoying.
I think everyone needs to take a chill pill. I mean it's not like you forgot how! It's that you haven't found someone you turns you on in that way. So what. It'll happen. Guaranteed.
who knew all "michelle"s could give such great advice? ;)
Eh. I don't think you should do anything just to do it. For every not-UNattractive, annoying girl, there is a not-UNattractive, actually interesting girl out there that you can bang when you're ready.
In the meantime, just drink a ton of cheap beer and get out there and meet hot chicks.
So Chad abandoned is over his half of the dynamic duo?
You don't wanna be that gross guy. She'll tell all her friends, and you'll be talking about this a year from now trying to convince someone that you really didn't like her. Besides, think about waking up the next morning next to someone you want to get the hell away from. Nuff Said!
You should get half lit, meet some random girl, and just have fun. Too much pressure isn't good for anyone.
*cues Billy Joel's 'Pressure' "
This entry made my "Quotes From Blogdom". Check it out!
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