Monday, March 17, 2008

Gerbil in a Cornfield

Beth: Come on, admit it.
So@24: Admit what?
Beth: You still have feelings for her.
So@24: There's a difference between still having reminiscing, nostalgic feelings for someone you dated 6 years with VS. being this shell of a man who is losing sleep and can't do normal functions of his life because he's engulfed with a girl.
Beth: It's not one or the other. There's a middle ground in there. I'm sorry for teasing.
So@24: I do miss certain things though. I miss how everything with her was black and white. I knew how she felt about me and that she legitimately cared about me and I never once questioned it. I guess when you don't have that, you miss the simplicity and security of it all.

And then when you lose 'em, you're like a gerbil in a cornfield... terrified of all these eagles circling overhead.
Beth: At least you can be proud of your own character now, if not the past. I mean, imagine if you two ever got back together... it would be a much, much, much better relationship
So@24: I'm still racked with guilt at what a shitty boyfriend I was. But you're right, it was definitely a bucket of ice water dumped on me.
Beth: At least you got the opportunity to be have that conversation with her. Salvage at last something from the relationship and be happy that you got a chance to apologize and have her hear you.

16 comments:

Katelin said...

well said on both your parts. it's good you're moving on but are still able to be nostalgic.

Tin Ma'am said...

Well, I do understand this feeling - but istill believe that you need to pull away a bit. THose benign nostalgic feelings can sometimes get in the way of the new relationship.

Beth W, said...

It doesn't seem like you still have romantic feelings for her. I think you've gone through the worst of it and come out a better person.

Rachel said...

damn, i got a little choked up on this one. i'm such a friggin girl.

this beth is a smart one.

xo

Leo said...

I really dislike seeing her name on this blog... in it's gross shade of salmon-peach. She's like a loose thread on the hem of your shorts. Just rip the fucker off otherwise you'll keep thinking something is crawling up your leg.

Happy St. Patrick's day people.

Ashley said...

I agree with LEO!

irunwithscissors said...

Well said... but I kind of agree with both of you... Its one thing to miss the stability of a relationship and all the things that go along with it (I know I sure do), and another thing entirely to be nostalgic about a specific person... Until you truly let go of her, another relationship just wont work... the question here is, is it the relationship you miss, or is it her? though I must admit.. you do seem like you are well into the process of getting over it...

Susie said...

Haha to Leo. Good analogy. But is it wrong of me to say I enjoy Beth? OK, I won't then. I think you have a good head on your shoulders though.

UBERMOUTH said...

You never forget your first love, it shapes who you are FOREVER.
I just thyink it's great that you can talk and don't hate each other's guts.

oestrebunny said...

Leo has spoken! :) perhaps not unwisely.

I think it's great that you two can still be friends, that you've managed to get over it all. Nothing wrong with reminiscing.

I do think Beth is wrong though, you're both different people now. Whatever you two had, worked because of who you were, it wouldn't be the same and not necessarily better either.

Chevy said...

the beauty of breaking up is the perspective you gain in the other person's absence.
And it's great when you can be friends after you've gotten your head straight.

Passionista said...

Relationships, especially first loves, are learning experiences. It is normal to have regreats but also realize that things happen for a reson and your life is not over. It may seem hard to believe, but you will find another girl in your life who is compatible and potentially wife-material.

Drunken Chud said...

hey, if you're not gonna, can i bang beth?

ya think she likes fat guys?

Maxie said...

I agree with leo too.

PhoenixHearse said...

"I miss how everything with her was black and white. I knew how she felt about me and that she legitimately cared about me and I never once questioned it. I guess when you don't have that, you miss the simplicity and security of it all."

HO-LY SHIT. I'm seriously floored sometimes at how you're able to put my exact feelings into words, especially in such a simple way that never occurred to me. I find myself reading your blog and saying "yes! exactly!".

bondibetty said...

You think you were a shitty boyfriend? Why?