I've been tickled at some of the emails coming in from readers asking me for advice on various subjects: relationships, dating, sex, etc.
The first thing that always comes to my mind is, "why me?"
Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered that strangers are seeking my opinion on such personal matters. But if I was reading this blog, I definitely wouldn't be going to a schmuck like me for advice. He obviously failed in his last relationship, has to constantly refer to Wikipedia to remind him what "coitus" entails, and that "dates" aren't just the fruit that the monkey dies from in Raiders.
Today, my cousin Mimi asked if she could get my opinion on her relationship. I'm extremely close with my cousin and can talk with her about anything. But she has NEVER gone to me for advice on her relationships. Or sex for that matter.
It's a weird territory, but I did my best to be mature about it.
Mimi: I have some relationship questions. This may be weird.
So@24: For me?
Mimi: Yeah. You were in a long term relationship.
So@24: Are you sure I'm the best person for this?
Mimi: Yes, I think you are.
So@24: Alright, I'll give it my best shot.
We dived right into it; she wanted to know about my opinion about how sex seems to lose it's frequency when you've been in a relationship for awhile.
Mimi: Is it normal? It got me thinking about your discussion about Leroy doing it like bunnies because he's in a new relationship.
So@24: Shit burns down, man. It loses that intensity and "mystery" and the overall excitement of "when is the next time this is going to happen??". You two have been together for awhile now.
Mimi: But you and Lynn were long distance and I got the impression this was never an issue.
So@24: Which proves my point even more. When I'd see her on weekends... "gaaaaaaaaaaame oooooooooon". But when I was home for the summer, we'd get into domesticated couple mode and the frequency would fade to a slow, charcoal burn.
So@24: Let me ask you this... how often are you staying over at his place?
Mimi: Every night practically.
So@24: See how it works? Domesticated. You hear about this with married couples all the time.
Mimi: I guess I just wanted to see if it was normal.
So@24: I really have no frame of reference, but yes I think it is. I can only tell you that we just went by what was natural. What our routine was, I suppose.
Mimi: Just a matter of switching routines.
So@24: Exactly. Not sure if that gives you insight.
Mimi: I'm seriously retarded when it comes to relationships.
So@24: Who knows? Maybe we both are.
Okay, okay. So it's not some groundbreaking discussion that opened up some great theory that hasn't been discussed a million times before. But it's nice to know that I still can provide at least some kind of look into the mind of someone who was in a relationship for as long as I was.
Even if it wasn't a complete success.