Thursday, February 14, 2008

Leo and Jack Talk V Day

This gChat conversation was too good not to post. It was one between my roommate Leo and my friend Jack.

Although this isn't MY take on Valentine's Day, it does fit the theme for the blog because it IS an insight to a single male's mentality re: this very coupley day.

A different spin on things from a (very) different perspective.

Enjoy.

* * *

Jack: I'm serious, I'm not going out tonight. I got home at 3:00 last night, I feel like a meth addict.
Leo: I wanted to talk to you about that...

-walks over to sidetable, picks up crystal tumbler of whiskey-

Drink?
Alrighty then.
Jack: -coughs into fist-
-notes blood-
Leo: You know what I love about Valentine's Day? I'll tell you what I love about Valentine's Day. The total and utter lack of Valentines.
Jack: -turns to audience "Here we go folks" -
Leo: I love that it's perhaps the most volatile day for singles... the crushing expectations, the relentless reminder that you. are. alone. It does odd things to people-- the meek are emboldened, the demure turn debaucherous. Wanton hedonism spurned on by the pressures of a love-lorn holiday.

Girls by the bushel looking to find solace with an intriguing stranger... some kind of proxy for what this day reminds them they lack.

-sips whiskey-
-stares out window at setting sun, eyes narrow, smile creeps across face-

[in a whisper] Come sundown, they'll be out in droves. Seeping out across the city like a wonderful plague.

-looks down into glass-
You get your rest now, Clarice. Fly fly fly... ... fly fly fly...

27 comments:

Leo said...

What can I say, sometimes you gotta add scene descriptors to your Gchat conversations.

...kinda wish I actually had a crystal tumbler now.

logorrheic. said...

haha i feel like i've just eavesdropped on a conversation i was never meant to hear.

love it...though leo creeped me out a little in this one (no offense leo, creeped out in the most charming way imagineable of course)

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

I pity the poor vulnerable girls who cross your paths tonight boys...

Leo said...

I know I know, it was meant to be creepy though... I was, after all, channeling Hannibal Lector.

Jack and I often get into creep-wars. He wins most of the time.

B2G said...

Haha... I love your friends.

tiff said...

such. big. words.

janegodzilla said...

*snickers* Leo wins so fucking hard for the "Silence of the Lambs" quote.

Although...I'm beginning to feel like the only person alive who isn't remotely fazed over being single on Valentine's Day. I feel like it should bother me, but...it doesn't. Yay?

Ultima Dea said...

lol

I wish your friends were my friends.

douchegirl said...

I have a question: Are Leo and Jack their real names? And I thought it was a real life conversation. I mean the whole "picks up the crystal tumbler, looks out the window" thing made me think that. I don't think I pay enough attention....

thisdayandage said...

you're friends are awesome.

today at dinner in the dining hall, I became aware of just how many people aren't in relationships. the dining hall was full, and every person in there is single. we joked about it, laughed to ourselves, and that was that.

Girl in a Guy's World said...

"Girls by the bushel looking to find solace with an intriguing stranger"

Maybe, just maybe, they're just looking to get (dare I say it?!) laid.

How's that for dramatic Leo? ;)

Steph said...

lmao! That is comedy gold, and guess what? It happens to be true.

thenextfish said...

That's brilliant though I'm forever going to find my "so, how are you doing?" conversations inadequate.

I think we need to turn V Day into another st patty's day - all about the drinking - surely it'll make everyone more romantic. And desperate, I take it all back.

ex-tex said...

yikes!!!
i know it was meant to be creepy but geesh, i just got the chills!! hhahaha

sequined said...

Wow. Leo would be hilarious to talk to online.

And it didn't even cross my mind to go out and flirt with all the single guys last night. What was I thinking?

Trixie Firecracker said...

Hahaahaha. Good thing I go out armed with a katana

JerseySjov said...

hahaha makes us single chicks sound like...i dont know giant cockroaches or vampires or something.
when really we're all fairy princesses on a deluded search for a fairy prince among the zombies and evil hamsters that make up the single male population.

JerseySjov said...

wait, 'fairy prince' was a poor choice of phrase...

cassette45 said...

I was definitely getting a very vampire-esque vibe from leo but now it makes more sense - hannibal. Ok, I can handle that. totally appropriate for v-day.

and "creep wars?" hahaha you definitely need to post more of these amazing convos from jack&leo... also, are you a competitor in the creep wars?

Veronica said...

so who played some guitar hero and went to bed alone?

-waits for show of hands-

A Martini Always Helps said...

Genius.

I wish I had a night of debauchary spurned by....whatever.....

I had a bathtub of tequila and was in bed by 10. Sigh.

Miss Jaime said...

Best conversation ever made even better by the fact that I just finished reading and watching Hannibal.

Nik said...

so did leo and/or jack get a little (un)lucky? Happy belated Vday.

Margaret said...

...Uh, yeah they'll be out in droves if they aren't already drunk as hell watching Project Runway reruns on the couch at home.

Truth be told, I considered going out last night to troll for susceptible boys, but it would have been too easy.

Did you guys (or just Sir Leo) have any luck?

mnwhr said...

I like the way Leo thinks!

The Ex said...

I want to know WHERE THE HELL my comment is.

Keri Oki said...

Is there any way you would allow me to become the third roommate?

This shit is priceless.