So@24: My fortune cookies says that I am "open and honest with my philosophy on love"
Beth: Bow chicka bow wow
So@24: That's the first thing you thought of? Wtf!?
Beth: I imagined you in a satin red button up shirt that showed your chest hair. On a big red heart pillow.
So@24: Do I have an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne? Does the heart shaped bed have a coin slot on the side so it can vibrate?
Beth: Hell yes. And your disco ball has a subtle spin. I can hear Barry White's soothing voice filling the room.
So@24: I imagine you opening the door, but you're carrying 3 bags of heavy groceries, a winter jacket in jeans and a scarf.
"What the hell is this? Knock it off and help me carry these groceries in."
Beth: That's exactly how it would be. Except now I'm thinking your satin shirt would be a satin robe. The kind that cuts off before the knee.
So@24: Then the record scratches and Barry would be interrupted.
"You know you're cleaning up these petals you dumped all over the floor, right?"
"Oh. Uh. Of course."
Beth: hahahaha!
39 comments:
HAHAHAHA! Oh man, you crack me up.
I love those mini-dress robes on guys. Totally vomit inducing.
Incidentally, do you even have chest hair? Haha.
Your pic couldn't have complimented the convo better! lol. And who doesn't love Zapp Brannigan!
PS> Thx of the comment on my blog. I love the "I married you for the present life" line as well... just being real about it. And I [heart] AOTS! (And Olivia Munn) Not a huge gamer. I stick to the classics. Still own a SNES w/ Street Fighter 2 and I'm thinking of getting a Sega Genesis soon just for Sonic 2! LOL
SO@24! Did she get the letter yet?! What are you people doing?! And I dig the mental imagery, but you're killing me with the suspense here.
little does she know she has a heartfelt confession in the mail on its way to her....
Zapp Branigan trick to get a woman into bed rule #1: cry. Works extremely well on women with one eyeball.
In my experience, taking queues from the Big Z doesn't often work with the ladies. But keep on plugging away.
Until you work in Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz -- your collection is nowhere complete...
But you do have the oddest conversations with her -- your idea of mental/IM foreplay needs some major renovation... don't want to even know how you two would have phone sex...
Who needs to be sexy if you can be funny.
Quickest route into a girl's knickers, make her laugh.
Or all else failing - tequila.
Haha, that picture goes so well with the conversation. I love it.
If I were a dude, I'd totally rock the shorty robe.
That sounds like a conversation that people who are into each other, but more importantly, comfortable with each other have. I'd say 2 very enthusiastic thumbs ups! Waiting to hear how "mission love letter" ends up...
Girlfriend had better get ready.
And incidentally, I still love the banter. I hope she gets it like she appears to!!!
This totally reminded me of that Domino's commercial where the guy is wearing the short satin robe in order to seduce his wife. Hilarious.
Record scratches are classic comedy. What the hell did people do before records to indicate a sudden shift in tone? What does a scratched Edison Wax Cylinder sound like?
I think she gets you! ;)
I also think having a good sense of humor wins over sexy talk any day!
hahaha Beth is awesome.
In the words of Zapp Branigan himself: "i have a very sexy learning disorder ... it's called 'sexlexia'"
I'm guessing she didn't get the letter yet...I wonder how that will play out. updates as soon as possible please?
Yeah, I'm with everyone on this one. You guys are joking about how she'll come home from work to find you laying on the bed. It's like you're dating and planning a future together. Has she received the letter yet?
We need some more guac-a-mole. ZB is my hero.
Damn dude, that reminds me... can I get my robe back from you? Also, if you have a moment this weekend could you help me put those mirrors over my bed and maybe give some tips on growing a handle-bar mustache? Thanks Bra.
I was going to post something about funny IM convos/I wonder how those'll go once Beth gets your letter (which, by the way, you're supposed to write but not send!), but then I read Leo's comment and I can't stop laughing.
Haha, so hilarious!
Additionally, I notice you get a fair number of advice-type questions (are people missing the part where you're confused, too?). You should totally alternate Fireside Friday with a day of playing Ann Landers. These people deserve responses to their crises!
It would be especially hilarious if you could somehow integrate your guy friends into the advice-giving process.
So you work on that. Go.
I'm new to your blog so excuse me if I'm asking something that you've already covered sometime in the past, but here's a question for the next Fireside Friday (warning it's a layered question):
Seeing that your blog is becoming more and more popular, are you ever concerned that it may somehow be seen by your "cast of characters." Namely Beth, Lynn or any of the other "Girlies"? And what steps do you take to try to ensure this doesn't happen?
I'm a bit concerned about this myself regarding my own blog
PS. Random Zapp Brannigan quote:
"Can't you ask a little more sexfully?"
Hilarious. I read this post and all I could think of was the Simpsons episode where Homer has erotic photos of himself taken and all Marge could focus on was the interior design changes of her basement.
And who says romance is dead? :)
so when you read your fortune, you do finish it by saying "in bed" don't you ?
Leela: You know Zapp, once i thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then i realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now i realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!
Zapp: And which one Rocked Your World?
I got questions for throw so@24 in the fire Friday. Where do I send em?
yikes - for two reasons:
1 - hilarious, i could totally imagine the picture of you i have in my head doing this.
2 - youre still talking to her? did she get the letter? what happened there????
You have a real good way of killing the mood with jokes. Like me.
HAHAHAHA amazing. That picture just totally summed it up without a single word. I think when guys are sexy, it's different from when girls are sexy. Maybe that's why I don't see much of sexy men's underwear?
Still thinking about the dangling carrots?
so does this mean she has or hasn't gotten the letter? ;)
You just described my marriage.
I need a drink suddenly.
"You know you're cleaning up these petals you dumped all over the floor, right?"
ROTFLMAO!!!!
And what ex-tex said, too.
Okay, I am fully up to date on your sitch so far. Now I'm just dying to know what happens with the letter! I'm linking you, dude.
(Also I think I may love Leo a little. Just a little.)
Don't you know you have to add "in bed" to the end of all your fortunes? Now its more exciting ;-)
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