A girl I met a few months ago, texted me out of the blue inviting me to go out to her party. I really wasn't that into her, she was nice enough, but I was kind of "meh" over her. In fact, I left her at some point to talk on the phone with my cousin Mimi which I later was thoroughly chewed out by Leo and others.
But I figure it's time for me not to be so picky. Again, I have a thing with turning down opportunities of meeting new people. So I tell my loyal roommate about the plans for this weekend which lead to a mini lecture on how awkward I am...
Leo: Stop being chummy and learn how to flirt.
So@24: Who's being chummy??
Leo: You. Ask anyone. No offense buddy, but you do not know how to flirt.
So@24: Yes I do!
Leo: Have I ever seen you flirt? Please answer "no"
So@24: Wait let me think...
Leo: Your version of flirting is feigned overzealousness that just comes off as chummy and platonic. It puts you firmly in friend territory.
So@24: I happen to think I'm a pretty damn good flirt.
Leo: Here's your problem: what you consider flirting is considered chummy conversation and joking with the opposite sex. Hold some damn eye contact for once. Touch a girl in a way that isn't your arm around the neck while chugging a beer. Smile at her in a way that's not so obviously platonic. You're like the best buddy in the world!
So@24: How can I take myself seriously? The whole concept of flirting is hilarious! It's funny!
Leo: I'm sure it is. But flirting isn't funny, man.
So@24: I only know how to be funny. It's my only card!
Leo: Time to draw another kiddo.
I wanted a second opinion.
Veronica: Would you consider yourself a good flirter? I feel like you start out okay, but you get too drunk.
So@24: I think I'm good!
Veronica: Okay, what do you do that's good?
So@24: Uhh... throw my arm around a girl and chug a beer with her?
So@24: Eh?? Eh?? - arms stretched out-
Veronica: Yeah, no.
I got some things to work on apparently.