A girl I met a few months ago, texted me out of the blue inviting me to go out to her party. I really wasn't that into her, she was nice enough, but I was kind of "meh" over her. In fact, I left her at some point to talk on the phone with my cousin Mimi which I later was thoroughly chewed out by Leo and others.
But I figure it's time for me not to be so picky. Again, I have a thing with turning down opportunities of meeting new people. So I tell my loyal roommate about the plans for this weekend which lead to a mini lecture on how awkward I am...
Leo: Stop being chummy and learn how to flirt.
So@24: Who's being chummy??
Leo: You. Ask anyone. No offense buddy, but you do not know how to flirt.
So@24: Yes I do!
Leo: Have I ever seen you flirt? Please answer "no"
So@24: Wait let me think...
Leo: Your version of flirting is feigned overzealousness that just comes off as chummy and platonic. It puts you firmly in friend territory.
So@24: I happen to think I'm a pretty damn good flirt.
Leo: Here's your problem: what you consider flirting is considered chummy conversation and joking with the opposite sex. Hold some damn eye contact for once. Touch a girl in a way that isn't your arm around the neck while chugging a beer. Smile at her in a way that's not so obviously platonic. You're like the best buddy in the world!
So@24: How can I take myself seriously? The whole concept of flirting is hilarious! It's funny!
Leo: I'm sure it is. But flirting isn't funny, man.
So@24: I only know how to be funny. It's my only card!
Leo: Time to draw another kiddo.
I wanted a second opinion.
Veronica: Would you consider yourself a good flirter? I feel like you start out okay, but you get too drunk.
So@24: I think I'm good!
Veronica: Okay, what do you do that's good?
So@24: Uhh... throw my arm around a girl and chug a beer with her?
Veronica: hm.
So@24: Eh?? Eh?? - arms stretched out-
Veronica: Yeah, no.
I got some things to work on apparently.
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15 comments:
I think you're cute. I'll chug a beer with you anyday.
With regards to these present points I'm inclined to agree.
With them.
did you ever see Ross on Friends try and pick up that pizza girl...and then go into an entire coversation about the smell of gas?
Ex - You win for the best comment this blog has ever received.
I think I'm obsessed with you.
Roommate, Trialby - You know nothing. NOTHING.
NYCchicky - If I said "yes", would you still consider me a man?
Being a bad flirt isn't a deal-breaker. It just makes it harder for a girl to decide if she has a shot. But eventually you'll find a girl who is willing to ignore all your platonic signals and all the signs saying "not interested in that way" and you'll get lucky! If you like that kind of girl, of course. ;)
:) I'm sure there's not a lot wrong with your banter...maybe it's just the way you deliver it?
Maybe you and "the ex" need to set up a little meet and greet?!?!
ughh flirting is not my thing. i normally end up in the friendship zone too. the only time i am not in that zone is if a guy just wants to bang me because i have big boobs. other then that, it hardly works out for me.
if you find the secret of flirting please let me know. maybe i have more dates then.
I have a friend who hasn't a clue how to flirt.
Don't mean to stress you out, but I'm not convinced it can be taught. I think you just pick it up.
Or you go to hooker.
Flirting is overrated. Just pull your penis out and wave it at the girls who catch your eye. That'll send them the message, loud and clear.
UBERMOUTH said...
Luckily your Ubermouth has studied body language and I just so happen to be an expert on flirting.
It's not what you say- it's ALL body language, recognizing their signs and matching/answering them( mirroring).
1. Anyone who looks at your lips is visually fantasizing kissing you. Look for this AND do it.Make sure to lick lips( in non pervy way).
2. Eyebrow flash. Slightly raise your eye brows as you say hello. It opens the eyes up and subconsciously lets ppl know that you like them.
3.Again mirroring- whatever gestures they do ( except negative or insecure ones) you do too,within 90 seconds but less overt than them. People like ppl they perceive are just like them.
4.Pay attention to nervous tension- if there is no tension, there is no interest.
5.Women go for alpha male types so the less body language you use the stronger and more confident you appear.Insecure men wave their arms around a lot and move a lot to gain attention ( HUGE mistake) as this is a turn off.
6. When with a woman sit with your legs slightly parted, line your body up ( facing ) with hers and keep yourself open......no crossing arms or legs.
7. Exaggerate (and watch for same) eye blinking. When we like someone our eyes open wider to let in more light, to view object of desire, our pupils dilate ,our eyes therefore need extra lubrication, which in turn causes us to blink more.
* If you want to figure out if a girl likes you more than a friend,do the eyebrow flash ( and watch if she mimics), point your body towards her( especially feet) and do the extra blinking bit- if she likes you she will follow your lead and begin blinking and mirroring to keep up with you.
You start out subtle and watch her clues.if she mimics, step it up to more obvious things like lingering looks where you would like to kiss- neck ,collar bone as an example. IF you check a woman out ( looking up and down her body) make sure to do it twice so she understands you like what you see. Once only can be perceived as a sign that you have checked her out and do not like what you see,so it becomes negative ( critical assessment) instead.
If a woman touches you, you have less than 2 minutes grace before you must touch her at the same location( of body),length and pressure of touch or their primitive brain assumes that you are not interested.Men make this mistake ALL the time.The touch is crcuail as there are 5 stages to getting to bed......touch is huge and often the killer. too much pressure and you are a perv, none and you are not interested, too long and you are clingy, too firm = too aggressive.
That's a few pointers....and I agree with your friend that you are every girl's best friend ( I can even tell that from here S.O)
** Do NOT put your arm around a girl's neck( she's not a dog lol)... lightly touch her arm or leg instead.
You are very f...ing hot though so these tips are all you need. Clearly your body language sucks and you probably do not read her signs or women would be crawling all over you- trust ME!
* Bone up on this and then ask 'Leo' if he knows any of this.
Let's see how smart HE is with women and flirting...:)
OH! And never call her anything that rhymes with pubes. :)
BB - You have no idea how successful that's been! Thanks BB!
Mouthy - A guru! A GURU! I'm going to write your entire comment on my right arm and roll my sleeve up for cliff notes during a date. Maybe she won't notice.
Dang maybe this is my problem too. Dang I've never looked at it that way at all. Dang.
Nice! conversations good that you shared this. Anyway,flirting is a part of the human body language and also affects our relationship issues.
cletsey
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